What to do when a child doesn't like you?

Question

I work in an Autistic room. The head teacher always assigns me to go to outside the classroom activities with this one particular child that does not care for me. The child does not react well to my commands nor does the child partcipate in the activity.

The child does not like to be touched because of sensory problem and so my options are really limited when I'm trying to get the child to participate. The kid just runs around the room or clings onto someone they like. If I go near the child he/she runs the other direction or starts throwing a huge fit. If I try to guide the child into the activity without touch it does not work, but if I do touch it sets the child off.

I'm so frustrated because i've talked to the head teacher but she doesn't take my concerns seriously. She just says I', not doing something right, but its not what i'm doing wrong. It doesn't matter what I do. No matter what I do it won't change the childs perception of me. The child just doesn't like me.

Answer 1

First of all, shame on that teacher for not taking your concern seriously!! That is crazy....I am so sorry! I understand your frustration! I too have had to work with children that don't like me and some that I don't  like myself! You just need to realize that as much as you want to like all of the children and want them to all like you as well, it just isn't going to happen! We have to be aware of that and it is hard to accept that reality sometimes....Is there another assistant or teacher who could help you or trade with you? If not, who is the supervisor to your lead teacher, you may just have to tell them your situation, for I don't feel this person in charge is doing you or the student any favors! You may need to go over their head and see what to do to remedy your situation. If you don't you are only hurting yourself, for you will burn out and become a little bitter and you don't want that...Take control of the situation yourself! I hope you can find a solution and maybe this helps a little?? Good luck!

Answer 2

Can you talk to the parents about what this child likes. For example, if the child likes a certain doll or character, maybe you can get stickers, pencils to give to her with that on it. Then print off coloring pages online or other small things to win her over be showing that you are interested in what she likes. I have seen this work at my school with an after-school aid and a little boy.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

You have the answer, the child will not change it's perception of you at this time.

Do not take this personally.

Not everyone is going to like us, or react positively when having to deal with us.

This is a fact of life, and should be accepted as such.

To best provide the service needed for the child, a different care giver should be assigned; again this is nothing personal, and does not mean you are doing something wrong.

In a case such as this personal feelings need to be put aside to best serve the child.

Answer 4

Sometimes you have to ignore the child and do something the child likes eg numbers or on the computer.Also if this child goes to another member of staff they should say to the child I am not your helper today you need to go to...You must all be consistent I use the first and then command first you sit at this table then you can flick your book.Don't give this child to many options but most of all don't take it personally autistic children don't tend to have emotional attachments to people so this child probally does not dislike you but may just need time to get to know you.Good luck