What to do when a friend's child is physically bullying your child?

Question

I met up with an old friend from high school who has a daughter the same age as my son. We both recently had babies as well. She stopped by my house this morning to visit and boy was I in for a surprise with her daughter! Both her daughter and my son are two. The first thing her child did was throw a hard plastic toy at my son's head, leaving quite a knot. All she did was say "That's not nice! Go give him a hug." I was a little unnerved. Her child continued this behavior by taking any toy my son went for. It didn't matter what it was if he even looked at it she wanted it. She ran through our house with my son's plastic hammer banging on the walls, floors, furniture. All the while her mom simply said "Sweetie, stop that". This toddler was practically destroying my home! Then I finally had it when the little girl pushed my son into the fire place and then into the wall. She wants to get together again, but I can't have that child in my home again. How can I handle this?

Answer 1

If you value your son's safety more than your friendship with the other lady, tell her "I'd like to see you, but I don't want my son playing that roughly." If she doesn't get it, translate, "I don't want my son being *treated* that roughly, do you think you could rein in little Sophie? I want to teach my son good manners and you can help with that..."

EDIT: Wow, it sounds like she is raising her daughter to be an antisocial, male-hating little brat. The blows are going to come later when little Sophie realizes you actually do have to share your toys and wait your turn.

Answer 2

i would not get together with her again, not in your home and not in her home.  she did not seem to care one bit that her child was hurting your son.  it's not fair to your son to have to put up with that either.

Answer 3

well if it was me i would say clearly this is my house n i wont have your child picking on mine .if you don't like it then you cant come back cause its my house my rules my child don't need to be hit by no one

Answer 4

just be honest with her.  If you value the friendship and want to continue seeing your friend, you will just have to tell her the truth.  That is horrible behaviour of her child and for your friend to not do anything more than say "that's not nice", etc. some things will have to change.

Answer 5

Don't let her come back - arrange to meet somewhere else like a Play Centre.  

Do not allow her child to hurt your son and if your friend is not doing it, then you will have to step in and say "We don't allow friends to play rough here" or "No, Suzy, we don't push other people"

Otherwise, wait until they are a little older before you let them play together.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

I completely agree with snow barbie.

If she does not control her child, just say "we do not do that here" or something similar, if she gets mad oh well. I have spent too many times with parents who will not make their child be nice. You need to stick up for your son, and make sure you make him be nice as well (it sounds like you do).

Answer 7

You just need to tell your friend that you really would love to spend time with her, but she needs to gain control of her daughter. It's not right that her daughter is physically hurting your son and being disrespectful as well as destroying your home. If she gets upset well then at least she'll know the truth and you would have to worry about her destroying your house or your son.

Answer 8

When nobody is looking kick him in the n*****k.