What to do when a guy bullies you but it's because of your fault?

Question

this guy is a member of the varsity team of our school and joined our group in a subject... He never helped and always uses his basketball issues as his excuse... He would sometimes volunteer in doing something but doesn't do it anyway, says he forgot it because he has a game so I and my other group mates end up doing it ourselves in the last minute. As a leader of the group, I felt like its my responsibility to remove him from our group before he worsens the damage in our grades, and all my members agreed. but the thing is I forgot to tell him before I removed his name from our list, and now he's angry... and bullies our all the members of our group... what should I do?

Answer 1

First of all, Hazel, it is never your fault when you are being bullied - by anyone. If this guy joined your group (for whatever reason) he is obligated to follow the group's agenda according to all the members. If he volunteers for something and doesn't do it, putting your and your group members in jeopardy, then you have every right to remove him from the group. Personally, I would speak to a teacher, school counsellor, or the principal about this person. Explain to them what is going on. Make sure you tell them that he's "angry" about it and that you are concerned about consequences. They will take it from there. Don't worry. Bullying is no longer tolerated anywhere anymore. Hope it all works out for you. Best wishes.

Answer 2

the person being bullied is NEVER the one at fault.

tell the guy strait up why you took his name off your group. you were all tired of doing his work along with yours and it wasn't fair to the rest of you. and tell him to get over it.  

Answer 3

Stick to your guns! If he was causing you're grades to suffer or anyone else's, explain to him that it's just not acceptable. When he is reasy to re-join and be an active part of your group he's welcome to come back . Until then, things will have to remain as they are....But dont say anything unless you MEAN IT! Be strong, you made this desision for a reason, dont go back.

Answer 4

You definitely need to apologize to this guy.  While he sounds like a complete jerk, your removing him without first discussing it with him was very inappropriate.  The best thing you can do is to be accountable.  Tell him that you are sorry about the way it was handled and that you, personally, take full responsibility for that, then explain to him why you and your team wanted him out of the group.  I would probably try to do so without pointing the finger too much.  For instance, you could say, "It wasn't fair to other members of the team to have done their work and then have to do your as well.  You weren't really holding up your end of the bargain and it short-changed the rest of us.  We all have a lot going on, whether it's basketball or (name some other thing a group member is involved in even if it isn't school related), but as a team, we agreed to do specific duties and you didn't do yours, but everyone else did.  It wasn't fair."  If the bullying continues after the talk, report it if you feel uncomfortable confronting him about it.  Start with the apology.  It will set the tone for the rest of your discussion.  You owe him an explanation.