What to do when child play mom against dad at every chance and dad falls for it. ..?

Question

okay 15 yr old daughter who was disrespectful to the extreme to every one in the house two brothers and myself and step dad (who has been in her life since she was 2) left for cheering practice today knowing she was grounded for yesterdays behavior and calls daddy to "rescue her" because I am being mean, I am crazy, i need a life LOL (average teen opinion I suppose) and daddy who for the last 15 yrs has been a scattered part of their lives going months at a time with none to little contact -busy with his own life and other girlfriends and their kids. drives 30 minutes to pick her up and take her to his house after I told him she was grounded for being really rude all day yesteray. I told him it was countering any discipline I try to give her because she has learned quickly that daddy will save her from being grounded & will get her what ever she wants to eat or do when she is there out of guilt from not being around often enough. what can I do.... How can I get him to understand?

Answer 1

Send the little brat to live with him so he can get a taste of it!

Answer 2

I would say that if she thinks her dad is so great, she should live with him for a while.  He IS countering you, and negating any discipline you try to instill in your daughter, and he needs to understand that a full-time parent must discipline their child.  The only way he will understand that he needs to back off and let you discipline her is if he gets a taste of her undisciplined and against him.

I know you love her, no mother doesn't love her child, but you are apparently a proponent of "tough love".. you know you have to do what is best for her whether she/you like it or not.

The only other way is to have him court-ordered away from her, and that's not likely to happen.

Another tip: back out of her social life a bit.  At this point, it might be best to build up the "mom" part and let the "friend" part fade a little.  Let your kids know that they can talk to you about anything and that you trust their judgment (because you gave it to them), but that you are first and foremost their mother.

Answer 3

you need to either sit down with the father and talk to him and let him know that it's not doing any good for your daughter or for you. and that he needs to put his foot down. Or have her live with him. and he can see what it's like. That is c**p that she does that. and I would not put up with it. and I'm sorry that you are having to. that man needs to be put him his place!