What to do when everyone around you is pregnant?

Question

Hi,

I hate what TTC is doing to me emotionally. I guess it's my own fault but a good friend of mine told me this morning that she is pregnant and of course I am happy for her, but deep in my heart I was jealous. I am surrounded by pregnant people my age and I feel like screaming that it's not me. I am never jealous of anyone, yet I can't help but think why not me. We have been TTC for 7 months. I have PCOS but do ovulate on my own so I am sure hoping one of these days I will get a BFP!

Thanks for listening. Just wanted to vent I guess. Not sure how any of you handle this, but I am sure open to any coping mechanisms you may suggest.

Thanks everyone! Sending you all lots of baby dust!!

Answer 1

You have three things in common with me. My name is MIMI too, I have PCOS and it seems everyone around me is getting pregnant. I know how frustrating it can be. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the past few months. My sister  just told me she was pregnant with her second child. I am happy with her great news but I was wondering when it will be my turn. The good thing about my sister being pregnant gave me faith that I will get pregnant too because she has PCOS too.  

Everyone at my office is getting pregnant too. So it is starting really get on my nerves. Just be patient you will get pregnant.

Answer 2

Well i know exactly how you feel. . .im in the same boat dear and i hate it as much as you do,

Im sorry that you feel this way, just hang in there ok

and if you ever want to vent away i'll be hear listening or should i say. . .reading hahaha

Smile :) Good. . .

Baby Dust to you, me and everyone out there TTC  

Answer 3

There is a reason it hasn't happened for you yet. Maybe God is taking a bit longer to create your baby! I know it sounds stupid and childish, but there is a reason why it hasn't happened. You have to trust that God has plan for you and your baby!

Keep trying, my dr tells me not to pay attention to fertility charts or BBT and CM. To just make love every other day! Not only is that great for a marriage, but your chances increase. Only your body knows when it's gonna ovulate, not a stick or BBT.

The stress alone of the two week wait kills me too! But i have to remember that there is a plan and method to all this madness. Keep you head up and just keep on going.

When I see others that are pregnant, i think that when my day comes, i'll have those women to help me through the terrible twos and the sleepless nights. Just hang in there, your time will come.

Answer 4

Hello and Baby Dust to you. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.  Last month was mine and my DH 4th month ttc #1.  I was very hopeful that last month would be it for us as I used OPK and it showed I was ovulating and I also felt an ovulation pain and we BD before on and after those days and still BFN. On top of that exactly half an hour after i got AF i got a text message that my cousin who wasnt really ttc but had just come off BC was pregnant.  I also work with someone who is expecting and was not trying to conceive. Sometimes I feel like everything is so reversed. All those around me who are not concerned with ttc are conceiving and I am trying so hard and I am having no luck. This will be our 5th month ttc and we are trying a different approach this time. We are going to try what seemed to work for so many around us and not concern ourselves with it so much. We hope this helps us. As for a coping mechanism I don't really know what to tell you as I am having a hard time dealing with it as well. I wish you the best of luck as I know what you are going through. Heres lots of Baby Dust and hoping we get our BFP soon!

Answer 5

Our first child took us about 1 1/2 years to conceive and, of course, one can never compare her medical situation to that of another, but eventually it did happen.  That said, our second child was born prematurely and died shortly after birth.  When that happened, it seemed as if everyone was pregnant, and babies that were about the same age as my son would have been made me a bit sad for a long time.  Of course, I was happy the children of others were healthy and beautiful, but inside there is always that tug.  Luckily I did have another healthy daughter.  The only advice I can give to you is to go on in the other areas of your life as best as you can.  If you keep yourself busy and make plans as a two member family, often things happen when you are least expecting it.  You don't have to hang around the babies, it's understandable that you are happy/sad at the same time.  However, the more pressure and stress you put yourself through in worrying about what may or may not happen, the harder it will be for your body to do what you want it to do.  Good luck.  Just try to relax a bit.

Answer 6

I can relate to you friend, I found out I was pregnant and both my brother and my husbands brother were TTC It was the hardest thing that I had to do when I told their wives I was pregnant because I knew what I was doing to them, but I had to tell them because they would find out sooner or later.

Your friends aren't trying to rub it in you face but you know that. From what my sister in laws have told me until you stop caring weather you get pregnant or not it will hurt when some one close to you finds out they are pregnant.  One of my sister in laws has thrown herself into helping me prepare for the baby, which is a major help for me, while the other stays away and doesn't seem to want anything to do with me. I don't think there is any sure fire way to cope. But set limits for your friends on how much they talk about the baby stuff to prevent opening the same wond again and again.

Answer 7

I am sort of in your boat. There's a girl at work that is preggers, and it eats me up with jealousy. We were TTC before I found out she was pregnant, and I thought, well any day now. That was in March and still no luck. To beat it all I am having trouble understanding how she can be pregnant. She's way overweight, eats really unhealthy food, smokes (Still while pregnant). It's not fair that she is and I'm not.

But then I think that God won't give me things I don't need.  I need a new attitude, not another child with this bad attitude. I am trying to work on it, but it's not that easy. I am trying to bite my tongue and avoid her. She actually told me that once she had the baby I would be her weight loss partner. So she called me FAT!

Whew that felt better. I don't have a good answer. Hopefully your friend knows that you were TTC so she will understand. Just take it in small doses, and explain what's going on. You are happy for her, but it does make you sad that you still aren't pregnant. If she's a real friend she will give you some distance and understanding.