What to do when no one has your side?

Question

I used to be friends with a girl and then she tried to get intimate with my older brother. I made it known that I was not okay with that, and she betrayed me. It's been a year later and I still am not interested in being her friend, and everyone (including my mom) is trying to convince me to do so. I have heard new details about her trying to have (unprotected) s*x with my brother, and I am very angry. What do I do?

Answer 1

maejc

You have been betrayed by this girl. that is the long and short of it.  There is nothing you can do but tell your mom that you are not and never will be interested in her because of her betrayal.  Give her the full details of what you've heard and know for sure.

You say she tried to have unprotected s*x with your brother.  Does this mean she had protected s*x with him?  There's a subtle difference.  If she did, then in a sense you've been betrayed to some extent by your brother given the fact that your mom and others are encouraging you to be friends with her.  Whether your brother knew this is something else.  If he lives at home with your mom and you then I would have thought he would known what your mom and others wished.  If he does not live at home then he can be forgiven as he may not have been aware of the circumstances.

You also have to remember that your brother is his own person and has to make his own choices and decisions in life.  

You ask what do I do?

My advice is to stick  to your guns.  Explain your feelings of betrayal and tell your mom that if you have friends you need to be able to trust them.  Tell her you can't trust this girl.  The circumstances show that.  

I can imagine your anger but please do not vent it in a destructive way.  Take it out on a punch bag if you feel the need.  Just imagine its the girl.

Put it down to experience my friend.  When choosing friends - boys or girls evaluate them first in terms of how they meet your needs and what you can offer them.  Friendship is based on trust amongst other things and is not a God given right.  It has to be earned and once earned valued.  I've answered a lot of questions on friendship and related topics and you may find some useful tips in this regard.  Please go to my best answers - they are available for you to see.

Good luck - I feel for you.  Please feel free to e-mail me if you consider I can be of more assistance.

Answer 2

Man I dont know what to tell you:\ that sucks a lot. Try telling your brother how you feel about the situation. And does your mom know? Would she still want you to be friends with her if she knew about the s*x and everything?

Answer 3

If you don't like her don't be her friend...Nothing you can do about her dating your brother, its his choice.

Answer 4

That really does suck but the only advice I can give you is let your brother do his own thing.... it's his life and honestly you shouldn't try to interfere because it's his choice only. But other than that you should just ignore her.