What to do when one of my bball players says she has a crush one me?

Question

So one of my JV bball players recently told me that she was bi. I already knew that but then she told me that she loves me which makes it very uncomfortable because i dont know how to deal with the situation. She says shes like me for a long time now ..i kinda had a feeeling that she liked me but i didnt want to act on it..

The thing is that i want to be there for her cause as her coach im there for all of my other players but my gf says that i should pull away from her until her little crush fizzles out. I dont know what to do..

Everyone needs someone when they are "coming out" but im afraid that if im still gunna be there for her that her crush may keep on developing..

any ideas on how to deal with this ?

thanks.

Answer 1

Well, this a rather tough situation. But, you are actually in the best position to deal with this head on.

   You should talk to the girl privately, but in a school environment. That way the others will think you just want to give her some tips. Then you calmly tell her that you understand this is a confusing and emotional time for her. And you, having gone thorugh someting similar yourself, understand and are willing to answer any questions she may have about her blossoming sexuality and you are willing to be someone she can talk to about the array of emotions she's feeling about coming out.

  But, be very clear with her that you are her coach and that means that while you can be there as a mentor, you cannot be anything more or you will lose your job. Tell her you care about her as a young indivdual and want to help her grow and learn about life's lessons, but that is all you are available for. As a coach you ARE a mentor, and as a member of the LBGT community you are a great candidate to counsel her about her emotions and answer he questions about her sexual orientation, but THAT'S IT. Also, remain as neutral as possible. There are parents who would be veyr upset to find that a faculty member is encouraging homosexuality. It's closed minded and sad, but it's unfortunately true and you MUST BE CAREFUL about the words and settings you choose.

   I think that if she is old enough to recognize bisexuality, she is old enough to understand that her crush is going to be just that, her crush. And, if she continues under the illusion that she can have you, you won't be able to be her coach anymore. Tell her she's a lovely individual with a lot of great assets and some lucky girl will see it too, when the time is right. Or, maybe just refer her to a counselor if things get over your head and she won't listen. Protect yourself because you are in a delicate position. But, don't leave the poor girl out in the cold, becuase it's a daunting process to discover yourself without an adult who understands.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Pull her off to the side and tell her that you are here for her if she needs someone to talk to about anything at all, but just let in be known that you are not personally interested in her and that you are to be no more than a coach and a friend to her. And make sure that you do not treat her any different than any of the other players on the team.