What to do when the maid of honor wants to step down due to a communication problem?

Question

My Maid of Honor who is my best friend are constantly arguing and there is a communication problem and she is stating that everybody ideas count except hers and she has known me longer than the other people and she wants to step down

Answer 1

Communication problems are solved by communicating. Talk to your MOH - if she is really your best friend you should be able to get it resolved.

Answer 2

You should NEVER have someone in your wedding party that is uncomfortable with the Bride or Groom . .  or makes the Bride or Groom uncomfortable.

Your honor attendants (Maid of Honor and the Best Man) should be responsible and mature adults.  If they are not, then you made a bad choice.  The last thing you need at YOUR wedding is someone who is irresponsible . . immature . . self centered . . and everyplace but where they should be (flirting with the bar tender).

There must have been a reason why you selected this person so you need to take a step back and ask yourself would you select this person again knowing what you know now.  If the answer is no, then you need to let this person go and select someone else.

Answered by:  A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 3

Are you taking her ideas seriously? Why does she feel this way? Explain to her that you're sorry, you promise to listen to her in the future even if you choose not to act on her ideas, and remind her how much it means to you that she be there on your wedding day, in whatever capacity she is most comfortable. Just because it's "your day" doesn't mean it's worth burning bridges with good friends. Even the bride has to make compromises.

Answer 4

Remember you asked her to be in the wedding to honour her, and because you felt she was close enough to you that you could reasonably ask her to do a heck of a lot. If she is feeling that it is a burden then she obviously isn't feeling honoured anymore. At this point being in your wedding is an imposition on her.  

Answer 5

Do you want her to step down? If so, let her. If not, you need to sit her down and have a long talk about why you chose her in the first place. Let her know that her ideas count just as much as anybody's, except yours, of course. Your opinion matters the most!

Answer 6

Honor her request.

(Otherwise you're just looking for trouble at the wedding.)

Answer 7

You don't say what you're arguing about or give too much detail as to what's going on, but you need to sit down with her one on one and talk this out.  If there's a communication problem, it won't be solved by ignoring it.  

Take a step back and ask yourself if there is any truth to what she says.  Is there perhaps some other reason she is feeling this way?  She's your best friend.  Don't let one event ruin a friendship.

Tell her how much her being your maid of honor means to you.  Apologize if she feels her opinions don't count.  Tell her that you do value her opinion and would like her to stay.  Make sure you back up these words with action.

Good luck.

Answer 8

sounds like youve got a maid of honor-zilla

i dunno maybe you should tell her to chill out. if she wants to step down for something so stupid then let her. sounds like she is very controlling and is having an adult temper tantrum. talk to her like the baby shes acting like and ask her whtat would make her happy.. and explain to her that her opinions count but its ultimately what you want.  

Answer 9

Obviously at some point she's made this about herself and doesn't realize it's not her wedding. If she wants to step down over something so petty, let her.  

Answer 10

My sister did the same thing to me, though the circumstances were a little different. If you force her or guilt her into it, she may throw in the towel anyway and cause more heartache than if you just accept it now and try to move on. If she's a true friend, she'll still help you as much as she can but won't have to deal with the stress of everyone else.  

Answer 11

Sounds like she wants this to be HER day!  I would sit down one on one to hear her ideas and weigh them against everyone else...cuz ultimately YOU make the final decisions and if she wants to cause an issue maybe it would be best if she steps down!

Please don't let her ruin your day!

Answer 12

If you really want her as your maid of honor you need to talk with her and let her know she is important and so are her ideas. Why does she feel this way? Have you not taken her ideas into consideration?

~MLF~

Answer 13

I would have thought that all the ideas would be what you and your fiancee want.  I don't understand who she is arguing with.