What to do when you disagree with your child care provider?

Question

My daughter is 6 months old and I work full time. She goes to Grandma's house 2 days a week and to public day care 3 days a week. Both my mother-in-law and our day care provider are fantastic women and both of them love my daughter dearly.

I am having a hard time with the "parenting" methods used by our public day care provider. She is wonderfully patient and truly loves her job, but the kids run all over her. There is a little boy there who is almost 3 and he is an absolute monster. He hits other kids with his hands and toys and isn't afraid to hit his parents, other parents, or Missy (day care provider). Last week when I dropped Em off Missy was putting him in the corner (FINALLY) and he said "My dad is going to kick your @ss" and she just stood there and looked at him. I've also heard him say the f-word and other inappropriate words. I know that sometimes it's best to ignore this type of behavior, but I'm concerned about my daughter spending 24 hours a week around it.

So here's my question. Do I say something to her along the lines of "I think you give Em great care, but I am uncomfortable with her in this environment" and tell her that if he continues to act this way, we'll be searching for new day care? Or do I let it go and try to teach her at home (once she's talking) that that's not how we talk, behave, etc.?

It's especially bad because there are NO openings for infants in my town, not one. And I know that she needs to keep that little boy because he's full time and Em is only part time, so she makes more money off of him. It's a tough situation and I'm not sure what to do!

I'll take any advice or suggestions that you have. Thank you!

Answer 1

You can just talk to her.  She is taking care of your your child so she should be able to listen to your worries.  

Answer 2

I know this must be tough, but I personally wouldn't want my child around that kind of behavior - if he is going around hitting other people and swearing I would be more worried about him hurting my baby. I would have to tell her that while she is great at her job, I would have to search other places for my child that were safer if the 3 year old continued his current behavior - or even talk to that child's parents, as they should be teaching him better manners and that hitting is not okay.

Answer 3

That's tough because the day care provider is probably just as frustrated with the little boy as anyone.  he's probably around lots of aggressive behaviour/bad language at home.  You can talk to her, and she'll probably try harder to control him, but--ultimately--this kind of stuff has to be fixed at home first.  Is there anyway you can talk to his parents?? or, ask the day care worker to talk to his parents?  if you said something it would probably (hopefully?) embarrass them enough to take action.