What to do when your 21 yr old daughter is getting beat by her boy firend?

Question

she is doing things he tells her to hurt her family he tells her to come to our home and disrespect us and she does he beats her every other day plsssssss help me

Answer 1

THAT'S F*CKED UP! SHE SHOULD TURN HIM IN AND GET A RESTRAING ORDER ON HIM.

Answer 2

That's so sad. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Just tell her often how much you love her and you will help her any way you can. She won't leave until she's ready. Suggest counceling. Good Luck!

Answer 3

I would turns his a** in.  If my father were to even think my husband was hitting are mental abusing his daughters he would be kicking some butt (***).  I would be so stressed out thinking about that everday I would turn him in nobody deserves that kind of abuse.  It will only get worse and then you may never see her again. : (

Answer 4

if hes beating her that often she has marks, bruises etc, call the authorities and send them over,,,let them have a look, they will haul his *** in with any luck.

or...hire a hitman..  (just kidding....sort of...  lol)

Answer 5

Call the cops on his a.s.s. She should not have to deal with that!

Answer 6

invite him to a dinner he will never forget. call the cops on him.  to bad this is a public page. I got the cure for  that sucker!!!

Answer 7

You can try making a report... But other then that there isn't a whole lot you can do.... unless shes ready to seek out help.

Does she have children? Get social services involved and seek temporary custody until she can get herself into a better situation.

Answer 8

If she doesn't want to press charges, and insists that she keeps 'falling down the stairs' or whatever, I doubt there's much you could do.

Other than get a couple of lads to go round and break his fingers. That's what I'd do.

Answer 9

my aunt lived that way for a while, ask her if you can help, let her know that she can count on you, maybe she doesnt know her way out.

on the other hand, sometimes they dont want out unfortunately.

just constantly let her know you are there hopefully she will come to you for help.

Answer 10

um, call the police. Or kick his *** yourself, but I would go with the police

Answer 11

It's hard but she's an adult. My sister's daughter was in the same situation and all my sister could do was tell her daughter she loved her and would be there for her no matter what.

Some people just get into abusive relationships time after time and unless they press charges against the abuser there is nothing you can do as a parent. Just pray for her and be there for her.

I hope she will be OK

Answer 12

if this i true...why haven't you whooped his @*^ yet?

Answer 13

I would have to beat him within an inch of his life and that still wouldn't be good enough. I am sure he probably makes her feel like she deserves it but no one does its just a POWER thing. I think you should have an intervention with her friends and family and maybe she will listen to what you all have to say but it is really a problem that needs dealt with before its too late.

Answer 14

She is 21, an adult. She has to make the decision to help herself, you can't do anything for her.

Answer 15

Press charges on him.

Answer 16

shitted shot his *** or bust his muthafuckin *** in the head and make her leave him or pay some one to beat his *** up no women deserve that god need space in h**l cause their alot of people on their way

Answer 17

This is a very tough subject for me because I was in the same situation as your daughter is now.  For 10 years I was with a very abusive male (doesn't deserve to be called a man).  He is the father of my first two children.  I was around 19 or 20 when he started beating me.  My brother tried to intervene once and it turned out bad because I didn't want my family to be involved with something that was "my" problem.  People always wonder, "why do you stay? why don't you just leave him?" Well guess what, I DID try to leave.....I went to shelters (which would only give me and my children a place to sleep for ONE night).  I called the police, which didn't do anything because they couldn't SEE the knots on my head.  I ran away with my kids and went to a hotel using a fake name (hoping he wouldn't find me).....but he always did. So, I gave up trying to leave him and just dealt with it.  He was a good father (never hurt the kids), so I just sacrificed myself until one day, I had enough.....I called the police to take me to the house to get my kids and a few clothes (and he almost tried to fight the cop) and went to a new friend's house who took me and my kids in.  4 days later, he tried to kill me by shooting at my car with my kids there!! there was a bullet hole 1 ft away from my door (which would've probably killed me).....whatever, all I'm saying is that your daughter will most likely NOT listen to you because she is afraid of what he will do to you or anyone else that she loves (cuz that's what they say, "if you leave me, i'll kill your family")...Just tell her that you will always be there for her NO MATTER WHAT!!

Answer 18

Really the dumb one here is your daughter. She is the only one that can put a stop to this. Call the police and report it. Its sad to say but your daughter must love to live like this. I dont understand why man are such a$$*****. Try to talk to your daughter and get her help. One of this day she might end up dead.. God Bless your daughter..

Answer 19

DO not call the police.  If he gets arrested or even just go there the only thing that will happen is that she will resent YOU & then it will give her b/f ammunition against you with her.  Get in touch with a local domestic violence group & get info &  let them know about her situation so if something does happen it will have been noted that there already was a problem.  Also do not allow her to come in your house if she;s being disrespectful.  She probably already knows how you feel about her & her situation & if you talk bad about her b/f she will be defensive so let it be, hard as that is & just let her know you love her & support her, but will not be a part of that destructive behavior.  She's also old enough to know better & if she doesnt by now thats too bad.  some people learn the hard way.

Answer 20

Call the cops.

If she still insists on being with him after a run-in with the cops, contact a large, threatening man who owes you a favor.  He can figure out the details.

Answer 21

Pray for her, that she wakes up soon and leaves.

Answer 22

How about her father. As a dad myself that guy would regret the the day he ever met my daughter!!!!!

Answer 23

get your dumb *** up and beat some ***

Answer 24

turn the ****** in!

no woman should ever be beat..

why the h**l are you letting your daughter be kept in that situation i would resent my mom for knowning whats going on but not doing anything about it.

Answer 25

Well, my first instincts would be to KILL the jerk.  

Why is she going back to him if she is getting beaten every other day?  First, she is your daughter! You cannot let this happen.  Make it clear to her that people should not treat others like this.  It is wrong! No matter what she has done she does not deserve to be hit!  You should also make it clear to her that if she continues to live with you, she cannot see this man anymore.  If she refuses and continues to see this jerk, then she's made her decision.

I would also suggest that you get your daughter into therapy IMMEDIATELY.  She is only 21 and has a long life ahead of her.  At this point, I can only imagine what her life is going to be like if she's choosing to hang around with animals like this current one.

I don't know if you are her mother or father, but it is your obligation to do something about this RIGHT NOW!

Save your daughter!

Good luck ...

Answer 26

i have been in the same situation and it is extreamly hard and you need to next time she has a bruse or scratch call the police, she thinks that it is normal and that if she leaves him that he might try to kill her or some thing in that area that is what i thought when i went through it, she will probably be mad at you for a while when you call the police but she will eventually realize that you were trying to help her and if you dont do something it will get worse and possibly deadly

Answer 27

if it was my daughter i would be calling friends to come get me out of jail cause i would have already kicked his a** two or three times.  and as soon as i got out of jail i would so it again.  nobody messes with my baby girl and gets away with it.

Answer 28

I know your daughter is legally an adult, but she is still your daughter, and she is in a potentially dangerous situation.

If you have concrete evidence that he's been beating her up (i.e. if you've SEEN him do it), then you can report him to the police.   If you haven't seen him do it, you can still report him, but he and your daughter may both lie about it when questioned.  Still, the fact that he's being "watched" by the police may be a deterrent to him.

Continue to assure your daughter that she can move back home if she wants to, and that you love her and are there for her.  She needs to know she has somewhere to go when she is finally ready to dump this loser.