What to do when your future sister inlaw is trying to sabotage your wedding?

Question

Ok, i'm not happy with my future sis-inlaw, about 2 days ago my H2B got a call from his younger brother to say that his wife is pregnant, i don't really care for kids (one of the reasons why i'm not having any children younger than 18 at my wedding) and she didn't congratulate me when i got engaged so i didn't say anything to her when she said she was pregnant but what has really made me made is she has done this kinda c**p before to get out of seeing my H2B's family, her baby will be due around the time of my wedding, i think she planned to get pregnant now as a reason not to come to my wedding and i know she'll try to stop her husband from coming too (they live in Melbourne, we are in Adelaide).

She doesn't get along with my H2B's twin sister and his mum. When my H2B's mum got married in Feb this year, she didn't come, she claimed she was pregnant back then too then like 1 week later she said she had a miscarriage, i don't believe she was even pregnant in the first place coz when my fiance and i visited them in Melbourne in Xmas last year, she told me she was going to make up some excuse not to go to her mum in laws wedding coz she didn't get along with her.

fsil (Future sister-inlaw) also has bipolar disorder and she doesn't take medication for it, if she stops my H2B's brother from coming to our wedding, I'll never have anything to do with her again, she's done other manipulative things in the past.

What would you do in my situation?

Answer 1

I have sent you an email with some contact details. For a small fee you will never have to see this girl again.

Answer 2

A couple things...

1. Getting pregnant isn't easy, so planning it to get out of your wedding is rediculous (I'm 8months pregnant).

2. Her missing your step-mother's wedding is lame, but that's your step-mother's affair, not yours.

3. Why do you want her to come in the first place if you find her so annoying?

I'd let it go. They'll be bigger things to deal with before your wedding is through. If you're this worked up over one family member than at this rate you'll be a wreck by the time of your wedding. Stop and enjoy the process of being engaged and happy in the fact you found the one person you love enough to spend your life with... ignore the other stuff.

Answer 3

You have to be the adult and go congratulate her on the baby. You know she is bi-polar without meds so that is the reason for some of the behavior. Just be nice and take the high road on this one. You don't gain anything by being mean to her. I'm sure she is jealous of you so just be nice. Everyone in the family will love you for it. And then you will truly win.

Answer 4

  Tell the rest of the family she is giving you trouble and see if they can help you out with some solutions.

Answer 5

Well don't listen to the guy in the first answer, you don't wanna kill her, and just ignore her back, because I had this done to me, same details not pregnancy though, moving house, anyways just ignore her back if she is really a ***** don't invite her to the wedding, or invite her and pretend to like her

Answer 6

Allow your fhtb to handle it, if you start off on the wrong foot w/ his family, you will not be able to make it right for a long time.

Dont do something you will regret.

Invite her and have your husband talk to her husband and let him know how important it is for him to be there.

IF she is sick, then she needs prayers...try to take the hight road, life is full of roadblocks and difficult people, getting married is just the begining and remember the event is about the two of you...who comes is part of it, but should not be the center of your attention...try to focus on what is positive about the wedding and let the chips fall where they may

Answer 7

d**n, what an *** of a situation to be in before getting married. Well, firstly I hope you have the FULL backing of yr man when you talk to him about it all. Frankly, I would elope, think about it ??? Certainly cuts out a lot of family issues you just don't need. I agree, sounds like she pretended to be pregnant, a little too convenient. People like this are not worth yr energy and time. I would try and have as little to do with them as possible but the support of yr future husband is needed here too. He needs to step in and shut it down. They haven't got the right to upset you.

Take care and good luck.

Answer 8

it sounds as if there's nothing you can really do.  Congratulate her on her pregnancy, yes even though she didn't congratulate you and let it be.  Don't let her ruin your day.  Focus on the good stuff and the love and family that surrounds you and by all means don't get caught in the "we hate her" club.  you aren't even in the family yet.

Answer 9

I was in the same boat when it came to my wedding. my husbands brothers gf was due around our wedding, and she said she wasnt coming (which was no skin off our nose, we dont like her) but they had a fight with my husbands parents and he told us the day b4 he wasnt coming. and he was part of the wedding.

i now dont talk to him at all, because i can never forgive the way he treated not only my husband but his family. as for them they broke up, so he got his own back.

but you have to remember it is yours and your hubbies day, and the people that matter will be there no matter what, and your brother in law is a big boy and has to make his own decisions and if he cant be there for his brother then thats his lose.

as upsetting as it will be for your hubbie and his family just remember your there to show your love for each other and who turns is a bonus.

good luck and i hope things really work out for you....