What to do with jobless boyfriend?

Question

I am 4 months pregnant and live with my parents. Next month i will be moving in with my boyfriend but he does not have a job. He gets high and goes out eevery noght and drinks alot. His Sister offerd me a room at her house which is right next door but i dont know if i can take living there and seeing him go out every night. Does it sound like he even cares? He says that its his life and he could do whatever he wants with it whenever i try to talk to him about stopping all the stupid stuff he is doing. What should i do?

Answer 1

where did the lone ranger throw his gabage? to the dump to the dump to the dump dump dump. and thats where the loser should go

Answer 2

You should not have your baby around drugs. If he's smoking them that is very unhealthy for both you and the baby. I really think you should stay with your parents. There you know the baby is safe.

Answer 3

Despite all the good answers here, there is a 50% chance that you will move in with this guy. You foolishly got yourself pregnant with a guy who is obviously irresponsible and have no care for you. Now you have to deal with the situation.

Choice 1. Stay with your parents and do what you need to do to take of your baby the way you know how. Also, better yourself by getting a good job and going to school (you sound young). Your baby should come first regardless of how much you love this guy.

Choice 2: Move in with this guy and make you and your child's life a living h**l.

Can't believe you see the warning signs and still want to move in with him. You may love him, but you have fallen for someone that doesn't care about you too much. You hope it will work out, but you can hope by staying at your parents house with your baby and making your baby your first priority.

I promise you, you will regret much for overlooking the warning signs of a dead beat dad and boyfriend. Then you have to blame yourself and no one else.

Edit: It would be best to stay with your verbally abusive dad until you get your own place. Go search for emergency housing. Get government assistance to start you off. Verbal abusive dad compared to a broke drug user is a bit easier to live with for the mean time. Or you can move into the house with his sister but I doubt that would be any better. Take the verbal abuse and get yourself your own place soon.

EDIT: Also, doesn't your boyfriend emotionally abuse you? He may have even cuss you all a few times. I don't know, but at least if your dad allows you to stay with him and help with the baby, it is better than not getting any help at all from your boyfriend who is not looking forward to this baby.

Answer 4

leave the loser, don;t risk your or the babies health by being around the drugs. if he cared he would be jumping up and down that you where pregnant not going out every night getting missed up. stay with  your parents if you can.  

Answer 5

go back to your parents, tell him he cant see your child untill he sorts his life out and starts acting his age. you dont need to bring up a baby with him getting high and going out and leaving you to do all the work. if he takes you to court you will win the case, or you could blow him up to the police for getting high and taking drugs, that might wake him up a little bit

the most important thing right now is your baby not him.

leave him  

Answer 6

kick him out ,then he realize  

Answer 7

Stay with your parents and dump the loser.. DUH

Answer 8

What should you do?  Don't move in with him is a good start.

Answer 9

Why do you want to move in with this loser?  Even if he got you pregnant, it doesn't sound like a healthy environment for you or a baby.

Dump his loser butt unless he decides to grow up and live up to his responsibilities.  A baby needs a man as a father, not a drugged out loser who can't provide for his family.

Answer 10

You should (if possible) stay at home with your parents. You don't want to raise a baby in a house that has drugs and drug users around. And your boyfriend doesn't care. I would break up with him. One good parent is better than two totally dysfunctional parents.

Answer 11

Your boyfriend does sound childish and not an 'official' man yet. I am not saying he doesn't care about your child, but he needs someone to show him that this baby is more meaningful in life than his marijuana habit and going out every night. Talk to him about how you feel with him. If that doesn't work, tell him you will leave him if he doesn't straighten up. This is force him to choose what kind of life he wants either as a child going out/smoking pot/no job or get a job and support you and the baby. And truly leave him until he decides to do more for you. You are worth more than that kind of behavior. If he doesn't want you, then find someone who will. There are many people out there who would love to be a husband and be more than life to a child and wife. If you want to keep him, try getting a couple therapist.

Best WIshes! Congratulations on your precious baby!

<3  

Answer 12

Ok drugs and parenthood is something I feel really strongly about. I am ashamed to say that I used to take all sorts of drugs and go out partying every night of the week, my whole life revolved around it. Then I fell pregnant, and from the moment I found out I went completely cold turkey, which was h**l but I turned my life completely around and I've left that whole scene behind me, made new friends, and now I'm proud and confident in saying that I am a pretty good mum to my son. I know this isn't the babies mum we're talking about, but the father, but if he wants to be involved then he is equally responsible and he d**n well should make a commitment and change his life. (Sorry, I'm not shouting at you because you seem to have your priorities straight!). PLEASE don't move in with him while he still has this lifestyle. I know what it's like to be on drugs and believe me, it is not safe to have a baby around someone like this. And even if he doesn't do it around the baby... I presume you still intend on living together when your baby grows into a toddler and then a child? As soon as s/he is walking and talking, s/he will be old enough to be influenced and affected directly by the surrounding environment. That is no life to be bringing a kid into, it doesn't take a degree to work out what the outcome will be. Don't move in with him and THEN give him a chance to change... do it the other way round. Tell him that if he shows you he has changed, THEN you'll move in and become a proper family, but that if he sinks back into his old ways you're out the door. Parenthood is tough and you have to sacrifice a lot - if it wasn't for my baby I'd be at uni right now partying my brains out, but instead I'm living with my parents, studying at home and being 'sensible'. I've given up a lot of my youth (I'm 20 now) but d**n is it worth it... motherhood is the best thing to happen to me and worth every last minute of every party I've given up for it. Your boyfriend needs to realize this. You CAN'T be a parent and continue to lead your old life, you just can't. I'm not suggesting you cut him out of the babies life - but I really think you should restrict it to visits, supervised by you, while he is still like this. Hopefully when he falls in love with his kid he will change. I know it will be tough doing this to your boyfriend whom I'm sure you love very much, but your baby MUST come before him from now on. And living with your parents might seem like a nightmare and it can be at times but I manage it and so do others and if this is your only alternative then believe me, it's the best one. Please do the right thing for the sake of your child.

EDIT: Read your additional details. You should meet my mum. Sorry you have a bad time but believe me you're not the only one, my mum has had serious issues in all my living memory and life is not fun with her. But it's possible to stick it out, trust me. If you move in with this guy then you are putting your needs before those of your baby. Sometimes you have to go through a bit of S**t for the sake of your child. It's called parenthood. Welcome to it. If you can't manage those basic things then you shouldn't be having this baby.

EDIT again: If you REALLY have to compromise your baby's wellbeing on this (which I think is disgusting of you, but whatever), then at the LEAST take his sisters room and keep his habits out of your baby's life. If you can't handle seeing him go out all the time then just bloody leave him. Are you REALLY prepared to do your baby such an injustice just because you're going to feel a bit upset at night? Sorry but the more I think about this the angrier I get. I said earlier that you seemed to have your priorities straight, but I am beginning to majorly doubt it. If it is that bad, then do the decent thing for all concerned and just leave him. By the sounds of him he wouldn't care too much anyway, if he's prepared to put drugs and parties before his girlfriend and baby. Sorry to use the tough love approach but you really need to s***w your head on tight SOON if you're going to make a good parent. Good luck.

Answer 13

If he drinks and gets high now he probobly will do it when the baby comes... you should tell him to stop or you will move out! If that does not work go stay with his sister or your parents to show him you are serious. Also he has to get a job... show him some articles in the paper and try and get him to go to some interviews.