We are to the point of having her grounded every day. It’s really hard and we just feel like giving up but have no options. This girl is my husband’s daughter who has been raised mostly by him her whole life, she has had one other “stepmom†whom she also HATED, now I am in the picture and its totally out of control. He has asked me to post this so we can find some help while we wait for medi cal and the mental health department.
His child lies, is way too smart for her own good and uses this to do spiteful malicious things, Is very jealous of who we give our attention to especially each other, purposely leaves writings for people to read that are nothing but evil and hurtful, she is VERY disrespectful and does not do anything we tell her, she also has possible mental issues, and has cut herself in the past and has thrown up after meals in the past something she admitted to. She has openly admitted to cutting herself & throwing up after meals in the past; she has no open cuts or wounds. She is way too smart for us to call the cps and have them come check it out; she will lie or do whatever she has to make them think nothing is going on or worse that we are bad parents. Her mother is mentally unstable, by law she cannot go to her mothers. Enough said.
Her moods and actions are always extreme, she really needs 24 hour care but due to the economy we both have to work 40 hours a week. She lacks the understanding of what she is doing to us emotionally, she lacks empathy. She lacks the ability to understand un reversible damage. I hate to make her sound so bad but it’s the awful truth. We love her but she makes it so hard.
We are waiting on Medi cal to get approved in the next few days for the medical issues to be handled, we will have her see a mental health specialist but medical has to go through first. But on the other problems we really feel boot camp is going to work.
We REALLY wish we could spank her but it is illegal, it’s called child abuse it’s too sad that the laws are so crazy that you can’t even spank your children anymore. They are teaching the child to call in for everything, but what they don’t teach the child is that when the child calls cps will take the child away and put their naughty butt in foster care. The awful truth is that they are giving children more control and making parents scared to punish their children. Now parents who have tried most everything except good old fashioned spanking have nothing left to try and are helpless. The last resort is boot camp, pills, severe counseling, and more costly things, when in the first place if that child would have been spanked they would have woken up and smelled the coffee.
We are at such a loss on what to do, is this even going to work? Anyone have similar experiences and what happened with your child? did they ever become respectful citizens in the world?
We do not want to throw her out like a dog(someone else’s answer), and that’s not what we are doing, Please try to put yourself in our shoes before saying she just needs to be loved or she just needs attention. We have tried multiple things with her and nothing has worked, she is a real sweetie until she is grounded or gets in trouble for something she did wrong. It’s like we punish her and then she punishes us but much much worse.
She is out of control and we just don’t know what to do anymore. Love, support, special attention, extra special prizes for doing good things, yelling, grounding, taking things away, additional chores, nothing works.
We are out of money, and sometimes we just run out of love. I know that sounds stupid and selfish but it’s true. It’s so hard to give and give and give when everything you get in return is bad really really bad. We go to work every day in the fear of what will she do next?!
It’s scary and needs to be stopped, if not for her then for me his wife who is pregnant. I can’t handle this stress.
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