What to tell our 2 y.o. about where our dog's body goes when he's dead?

Question

I don't mean, "that he went" to heaven. We aren't religious and I don't want to get into Jesus, God and Heaven. I likewise don't want to explain cremation. We have to take him to the vet to be euthanized. How do you explain to a 2 y.o. where the dog went and why he's not coming back?

Answer 1

The best way is the truth. Like the first poster said. Just explain to him/her that when we get old or really sick that we die. And when we die it means that we don't come home anymore. And that it's ok to be sad. My whole motto with raising children is to be as honest with them as you can possible be. You're obviously not going to tell them what the dog died from, the cremation process, etc... But, it's ok to be honest about death. It's all part of life.

Answer 2

Have you seen the Lion King?

Mufassa says something about the bodies become the earth and it's all a part of the circle of life.

You're not lying, not sugar coating.. Just illustrating it so that a kid can understand.

Say something about pets not living a long time like people, so we need make sure they die happy by not making them hurt anymore.

Answer 3

tell himthe dog was sick, and did not get better so he died, be blunt if you cant sugar coat it alittle with heaven

Answer 4

I recently had to discuss death with my children as their great grandmother has passed away.  My children are 2 and 3 and both still at the age where they hear you but really don't understand no matter what you tell them.  There was a social worker at hospice where they sent my grandmother about 6hours before she died.  

They talked with me about telling children about a death.  The key word they say to use is died.  If you talk of someone just going to heaven it sounds like they just went somewhere there is no finality in it.

They must know that died is the end and finalizes something.  Then you can say their spirit went to heaven or whatever but its important to use that finality.  I also agree with being honest with my children the way the world is today you can't hide anything anymore.  Prepare them for life and the world around them.  

I did not go to my first wake until I was in high school.  It makes a difference to understand what happens around you and not wonder.

Answer 5

You should get the book "When A Pet Dies" by Fred Rogers...it is SO PERFECT.  It is not religious at all and is written for LITTLE kids and helps them figure out their feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, confusion, etc.

When our son was 2 and our cat had to be euthanized, this is what we said:

Max is very, very old for a kitty and the doctor has kept him healthy his whole life, but now he is very sick and his body is slowing down.  You can tell he's sick, right?  He really looks sick and usually doctors can help when he's sick but now he's so old and sick that the doctor just can't help him anymore.  That's how it is for all animals...when they get really old their bodies just slow down and eventually they stop.  It doesn't hurt...they just stop.  No more breathing, no more eating, no more sleeping...just stop.

Now, it's very sad that Max won't be with us anymore...he has been a part of this family for a long time and we love him so much!  And we will never stop loving him, even when he dies.  We're going to be sad for a while because we will miss him so much.  But we can talk about him all the time, and look at pictures of him, and think about the fun we had with him and how he made us feel good.  

About the vet...DO NOT TELL YOUR CHILD THAT THE VET IS EUTHANIZING THE DOG!!!!!  This can be very, very scary to a child...that the doctor is killing the dog (that's all the kid will know...they don't get it that the doctor is helping the dog to end his suffering).  

About the cremation:  we told our son that when Max died, his body went through a special process that turns it into ashes.  And we only told him because he asked...don't even bother unless your child asks.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and hope Mr. Rogers' book is available to you...it is very, very good.  Best of luck to you!

Answer 6

You know your child better than anyone else, so you have to decide how much of the truth he can handle.  Explain it as fully as you can, without overwhelming him, and without lying.  Two years old is young to learn about death, and it is unfortunate that your son must experience this so early, but it will be worse if he is left with unanswered questions and does not really understand where his pet has gone.

I would start by explaining that all living things have a limited amout of time to live.  Flowers, insects, animals, and people all die eventually.  Some things live longer than others.  Insects can only live a few days, some plants only a few months, and dogs do not live as long as humans.  Make sure he knows that humans live much longer than dogs, and neither he nor mommy and daddy are going to die for a very long time.  You don't want to scare him, but you do want him to know that death is a natural part of existence.  

If you don't believe in heaven, you can't use that to make it easier, so just leave it at the simple facts.  When he is older you may be able to explain that your dog was old/sick, and dying put him out of that pain.

Answer 7

tell them the doggy wasnt well so he has had to go away where all the other sick doggys go. maybe try and make your child focus on somthing else so they wont worry as much.