What to tell pushy family.. when my new baby is born?

Question

I am currently pregnant with my second child. My husband and I can't agree on how to let our families know our wishes about this delivery. With my daughter, I gave birth vaginally and had let our wishes be known ahead of time. I wanted my mother and husband in the delivery room ONLY!

Well, my Mother in-law hid in the bathroom the entire time and when my daughter was being born, she came out! While I was still exposed! There was a problem with my daughters heart rate, well my mother in law took it upon herself to let my father and father in-law in the room, while I was still getting my stitches! Needless to say I was EXTREMELY upset and am still bitter about the situation.

Well, my husband and I are pregnant again, and this time the baby has to be born c-section, because of the complications with the last delivery. I know only my husband will be allowed in the room during the delivery, but how do I tell very pushy family, that I would like the first few minutes after-wards to be just myself, my husband, our daughter and our new child. We want to introduce them alone, without an audience. Please help!

Answer 1

Wow.  That's insane!

I would suggest telling the hospital staff that you don't want them in there until you say.  They will keep them out until you say.  At least, they did for me.

Answer 2

your mother in law was messed up for doing that...giving birth is such a personal thing....let them know before they get too the hospital how its going to be, and if noone likes it too not go. tell them they aren't obligated to be in there right after the babies born.

Answer 3

Holy c**p! I'd be telling my Mother in law to go straight to h**l! Honestly I don't know what to tell ya because I don't know your relationship with her or your husbands but honestly, if it were me, I'd be telling her very VERY forcefully what I wanted and making it clear that if she ever wanted to SEE this grandchild she better freakin abide by our requests. Good luck!

Answer 4

When you check into the hospital you tell the staff at in the maternity ward your wishes.  (In most hospitals they will ask you), besides after your surgery you will be taken to recover so no one will be able to come in there that you don't want in there.

Answer 5

Just tell them what you just said. If they don't understand then they are being selfish. I notice that you said your Mom was with you the first time, try to be fair on your MIL. I know it's hard, but it is her grandchild as well. If you let your Mom visit after an hour, let her visit as well at the same time.

She sounds like a B***** though. I thought mine was bad.

Answer 6

You don't have to tell them anything. Just ask the medical team to leave it up to your husband to make the announcement and then have him go and tell the family when you guys are ready!!! Or tell them to stay home and you will call when you are ready for visitors! I can't believe your MIL did that to you! that's sooo.... rude!!! Wow!! I would have been so so so mad!!! well congrats on the second pregnancy!

Answer 7

don't worry about telling the family any thing just make your wishes clear to the nursing staff at the hospital. they will take care of it.  

Answer 8

"Well, my Mother in-law hid in the bathroom the entire time"

Either you're making this up, or you're not, in which case your mother-in-law is such a loon that a restraining order is called for.

Answer 9

You should first let your family know how you and your husband feel and if they don't seem to respect that wish, you need to let the hospital staff know how you want things to run and they should keep everything private and in order.