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What warning labels would you put on coffee?

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Mine would be drinking this product will make you urinate....alot!

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After the first few drinks or even drinking the whole container, it'll sure make you f**t and do the #2 in the restroom so BEWARE...Plus it all depends on how strong your coffee is
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Warning: Drinking more than 12 oz. will turn me into a violent screamer.
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WARNING...

Failure to consume this product will make you grumpy as h**l for the whole work day...
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WARNING

highly addictive
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WARNING!

Failure to consume this product will make you grumpy and hateful to others. It may also cause all around insanity. And overdose of this product will result in extreme twitching and annoying tapping of fingers. (Company not eligible for you getting fired for not consuming product and calling you employer an @$$hole and getting fired.)
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Drink me or I drink you...alot! This is what I have put.

Anyway, hope you get your speicial warning labels. And after you choose your favorite label text, you might need this label designing software. http://www.toplabel2u.com

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WARNING:

This product is delicious. If you have delicious-deficiency disorder, refrain from drinking.
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failure to drink daily results in no motivation
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Coffee If not consumed daily may bring back homicidal thoughts :)
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Warning, this stuff will keep you awake if consumed within a couple of hours of bed time!
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