What was it like for you as an ex-pat/volunteer returning home after a long stint living in another country?

Question

Did you find it easy or hard to settle back in?

Answer 1

I found it hard cos you need a heap of cash to get you off to a new start.I found after living in Holland for years that comimg back to the UK made me see the British from a foreigners point of view ie.how the British are.I find them frustrating,two faced and prudish now and I don't feel British any more.I've also realised how corrupt this government is compared to other European countries and what a low standard of living we have in comparison so am moving back to Holland again.You will probably be in the situation of feeling torn between 2 countries,alot of people get that but your experience may be differernt.

Answer 2

Most people don't assimilate to the point that the first answerer did, wanting to renounce her citizenship and apparently feeling hostile to their native culture, but many do feel a sense of lostness or dissonance.  1) You've often had an intense emotional and intellectual (and spiritual, in the case of missionaries) experience that few people at home will appreciate, and 2) you do see your home culture in a new light -- a mature person will appreciate their home culture more, while recognizing some things that could change.

It's easy to feel lonely, isolated, and confused.

Answer 3

I left the USA four years ago and now live in the UK. Never have thought about moving back, hopefully I'll never have to and I do plan on getting full UK citizenship.

Answer 4

It is all rather scary, I do understand exactly what you are saying. I now spend my life between three different countries and it is only my home country that does not treat me with the respect that I get in the other two. Yes, it is the UK that is my homeland and I well understand how you feel, particularly the expense. The other thing, and I hate to say this, but the difference in educational standards and basic general knowledge is quite noticeably marked, it is almost down to that other supposedly great western nation`s level now and that is so surprising when you go home. It breaks my heart.

My friends in the other two countries have a really idyllic view of Britain, they still think of swinging London, bobbies with funny hats and bucolic scenes, but those who have actually been there usually express a rather different view. If you ask them `would you go back there ?` they invariably answer `no`. Apart from my sister-in-law who studied there in the 60`s, who would be so shocked if she went back to London now.

It is very, very sad.

My wife, has travelled the globe and the only country that has treated her with total disrespect, apart from america, is my own, she was submitted to the most dreadful interrogation at Portsmouth when we returned from taking my mother to visit a war grave in France. They did not even bother to look at her passport for an hour. Unbelievably inhuman behaviour.They completely denied it off course ! Plus they kept my 77 year old mother locked in my car for an hour with two big men guarding it.

I only got a verbal apology after three months of complaining and they found out that I was an ex-customs officer (after investigating me of course) and even then they wouldn`t put it in writing.

It makes me feel embarrassed and ashamed and leaves me wondering where I can spend my later years.

I sympathise with MiGrain greatly.

I am also well aware that writing this will induce many Brits to reply and they will make many rude remarks, but they have not experienced these things and they do not know. My guess is that most of us who go abroad to work or help others for a few years come back and feel great remorse.

Is it a psychological reaction you may ask ?  Well, when you hear the abusive language of your countrymen and witness their aggressive behaviour at first hand, which is a daily occurence in the UK, I would say most definitely `No`.

But I still feel `at home` in the UK, when I am in the Hills and I somewhat blindly stick up for my country, I do not let anyone openly berate her and I support her as best I can, but it will take a lot of hard work to raise her standards to that of some countries in the `developing world` and to be honest with you, I do not think the government is interested. They just want uneducated, easily controlled patriots that will do as they are told.

Sorry.

Answer 5

Very easy to adjust since it is hard to live in depressed areas.