What was it like in the first Garden?

Question

The Gardeners' Tale

by Jellz Fisher 080802

Eve of Mankind,

tender is your soothing touch.

God knows your mind,

your heart pleases him so much,

Man of First passion,

woman will be your completion.

God made you after his fashion,

gave you no competition,

Together you will begin the story,

tend the garden, reap the harvest.

Pick from the tree of history,

in a book that will be well known the best.

Teach you obedience, see you fall,

see you rise to sire all others.

God will oversee it all,

creator of men, your Brothers

Until the time is ripe, Apples of God’s Eye,

for your turn....to bid it all goodbye

Only God knows why, not you, nor I.

Answer 1

I think the revision improves the poem. The stanza breaks seem to give it more of a symmetry. I like your titles for Adam and Eve. I also like how L3-4 of the first two stanzas are God's view of them. It's a interesting take on a creation tale. I like your Chaucer-like title.

Nice work.

Answer 2

Very God.

Answer 3

Great poem! I can see that you love this art. This is amazing! Keep writing!

Answer 4

A serious poem with puns!  Jellz, you are brilliant!  (Spell chick, shut up!)

This frikken yellow pencil menace is worse than Grace!)

Answer 5

Many profound thoughts in this poem. We can delay the end by respecting those who have been sired. We all come from the same place. We also need to respect and love the only inhabitable planet in our Solar System.

EDIT: Yes!

Answer 6

This poem is wonderful, to say the least, Either way written got instant attention, I had not read it before today.

Reminds me of a book I read and reread, a ficton fanstasy, out of print

but can still be found."I Eve" by Edward LeComte, ISBN 0-689-11981-X

Truely one you can't set aside!  Your poem, Bravo!

Answer 7

Awesome !

I love it, and am left speechless !

MINISTER

S.F.C.U.

Answer 8

well i dont have time to draw this answer of

'what was it like?'

but i envisioned adam and eve making out

under that tree, and farmer in the background watering

the tomatoes with a peering eye..hahahaha!

do i go to h**l now?