What was she thinking? What to do?

Question

Hello again. I'm a lady & we go to diff universities in diff towns. I asked a q not to long ago about my friend from h s that started drifting away a couple years ago, then was ignoring a lot of my messages, said she lost her phone, then I called her, she ended the convo quickly, and didn't call back. I decided to let the relationship go.

Well, her good bye party she invited me to (she's going to Spain for a semester), she never called back with additional info or anything. She said she was going to pick me up when she picked up someone else. When she didn't call back for over a couple of weeks, I rejected the invite on Facebook.

Well, yesterday about an hour before her party she calls me. I ignored the phone call, I was going clothes shopping w/my mom anyway for school. She left a message saying she was coming to pick up Andrew and was I coming. She called an additional two times. Then, texted me her parents' address and asked was I going to make it. I have yet to respond to any of the messages. I def was going to her party. Since I thought she was ditching me, I didn't buy a gift or write the thing she wanted everyone to bring. I didn't know what I was supposed to wear or anything? Also, why did she assume I'd be ready to go when she didn't give me all the info or call me back. Alot, of my "friends" used to do this to me. I finally let them go.

Answer 1

Short answer: She wasn't thinking.

Not about you anyway.

People get scatterbrained when life picks up, and the only thing that changes someone is time. There has been much time elapsed. She didn't give you details, wouldn't communicate, and blew you off on several occasions, and you are not prepared. Most likely, she would benefit from actually hearing this, because she probably has not even the slightest clue what she was doing or failing to do.

Explain to her, if you do feel it necessary to respond, that you attempted to collect important details relating to the party, but that she failed to respond to your communication attempts, and thus has left you with no means of preparation. Inform her that her ignorance of your interest in her party communicated resoundingly to you that she didn't even want you to show up. Tell her that this is the reason why you did not make plans to go.

However, offer to show up anyway; unprepared and without a gift, as a final gesture of good-will.if anybody makes a remark, tell the truth plainly without making a scene. Then after the party, make no further attempt to establish contact. Let her catch up to you. It's her turn to wait in line.

Answer 2

Either let her go for good - or if you think this friendship is truly worth fighting for and wouldn't be able to live without seeing her again, go to the party and have a big long chat, talk it all out, tell her you felt hurt by her attitude and didn't know what to do, then hopefully she should see some sense and start caring for you more like what a proper friend should do.

Answer 3

sounds like your "friend" does not feel you are a priority. She seems to have better things to do than deal with you on a timely basis, and probabally realized she would get an extra gift if you came.  I know that sounds harsh, but real friends make time to at the very least respond, even if its just to say how busy they are and have to get with you later.  I have blown plenty of people off, and this is how it goes. Sorry bout your luck, hopefully once she is away in Spain, you can find time to meet new friends.