What was your adoption experience like?

Question

Just wondering how it went for anyone else, and if anyone knew of any devoted forums for adoption?

Answer 1

I adopted my daughter and could not imagine a more rewarding way to go.  Ig nore Lifetime Movies and go down this path if you can afford it!

Answer 2

My adoption experience, as a mom who surrendered her child for adoption, can be summed up in one word: traumatic.

And it's ongoing, btw. Not "was," but "is." Fortunately there is a wonderful trauma therapist where I live who has helped me heal a LOT.

Best forum for balance and discussion of the tough stuff in adoption: http://www.soulofadoption.com    It's not anti, not pro, just right in the middle. Now... fair warning... if you are very pro-adoption, you will probably think the site is slanted "anti;" and if you are very anti-adoption, you will probably think it is slanted "pro." Both "sides" seem to think they get the short end of the stick. To me personally, I see that as some pretty good evidence that overall, it's pretty moderate. (One exception to that: the international forums... they DO tend to be rather "pro-adoption." But the other areas are pretty balanced.)

Answer 3

I am single and adopted an older child (age 5).  My son is  an American.   BEWARE of the small signs.  They will become MAJOR issues soon.  Abandonment issues are huge!  Look for signs of drug and alcohol abuse while during the pregnancy, physical and sexual abuse, was the child without food or medical attention?  For the first year everything was going ok.  You have to go through the adoption home study and physiological testing.  What the doctors say "normal adoption issues" mean havoc on a person's life.  My son has tried to kill me and has had several sexual victims.  I have had to hid my knives and sharp objects and lock my bedroom door at night.  It is very hard to undo an adoption without formal charges being brought against you, you are also responsbile for having to pay child support.  I am not alone.  I belonged to several groups looking for help, church, cub scouts, parenting classes and then I found an adoption group for older children.  You find out you are not alone.  They can destroy your life as you once knew it.  It is not their fault.  People have severely hurt them and they are afraid.  I have taken my son to many doctors and specialist.  I have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars.  My son is now 12 and I am glad I stuck it out.  Help came through several therapist, his neurologist and hypnosis.  It has changed our lives for the best.  He no longer has anger outburst, hides foods, tries to kill me or sexually rape me.  Yes, all these things did occur in my home.   Adoption is not for the weak.  Try fostering first.  I wish I would have.  I am not sure I would have adopted my son.

Answer 4

adopting being adopted or losing a child to adoption?

Answer 5

WOW what a question! I had two adoption experiences. I was placed in foster care at the age of 6 with my two year old brother. Our first adoption was at the age of 8. It lasted about a year. It was pure h**l. I actually ended up hospitalized with an ulcer! The adoption was "broken" (my brother stayed in that placement) My second adoption as at the age of 11. That was also a bad placement. It lasted about six years. I want to note that even thought both adoption placements were a bust my foster placements were not.

Looking back on it now I think a huge reason that the adoptions didn't work is the lack of resources for the adoptive parents as well as for the adoptees.

I am 100% pro adoption IF the families are educated on the adoption process and what can be expected as the child(ren) grow up. I also think that the agencies should have a responsibility to check up on the children placed annually. (yes, I know the case workers are overloaded)

All that said, there is nothing I would change growing up. Everything that I delt with as a child has shaped me into the adult that I am and I am proud of the person I have become. In fact my husband and I are in the process of becoming foster parents. It is my hope that my experiences will help us help other.

Whew!

oh and check out

http://www.bethany.org/

Seriously, thumbs down? Why?

Answer 6

I am a single male,and I adopted a 4 year old,now 5,his name is Tyler. Everything is going fine with him. I love him dearly,his parents used to beat him.But now he is in a loving and caring home,he really loves me and I love him. I'd say to anyone considering adoption, to go for it.

Answer 7

Without spending two days writing about our experience, which I could do since it involved an attorney, an agency, and the state of NJ.....I'll just say that our adoption experience was a journey.  We had tons of "bumps in the road" along that journey, but it was worth it when it was all over.  : )

Answer 8

since i was very young it went great. my adopted parents were my life savers and lo and behold did i know they were related to me i was a lucky one. take care.

Answer 9

Why are people getting thumbs down simply for asking for more information from the poster? That doesn't make any sense!

Please give us more info, so we can understand what you're looking for.

Answer 10

If you are talking about being adopted...then here goes my experience.

***it was fine, i had two wonderful loving parents who treated me as their own daughter*** I'm not ungrateful for them, nor do i wish for any other life.

Answer 11

well i am adopted and i was adopted on my 4th birthday. and i can not remember but what i do remember was riding in a policecar. and my mom grandma grandpa waving and crying and then i got adopted by my aunt. so i still know my mom granpa grandma actuly my adoptiv mom is my grandmas sister. so ya.

Answer 12

There are many adoption related forums - but it would be best for you to state what part of adoption you represent.

ie - are you an adoptee, a first mother or an adoptive parent??

Then others would be more than happy to share their experience & their fav forums.

One forum which represents all sides of adoption is at -

http://soulofadoption.com/forum/index.ph...

Answer 13

Okay....not sure if you mean the procedure or after...  

The procedure was long and tedious...explanation:  First adoption attempt was with a private OB...birthmother changed her mind after we had the baby girl home for nearly a week... very tramatic....

Second was through an agency...where it was open adoptions.  We met with several birthmothers who picked us and for one reason or another, changed their minds before "handing" babies over.... not tramatic...just disappointing.  The last birthmother we met, chose us, we brought our son home from the hospital when he was 3 days old.  The agency took very good care of the birthmother, offering her free (to her, not to us) counseling with a licensed psychologist, which she used for 4 months (a must for her I might add and not viewed begrudgingly by us!)

He just turned 17 this September.

Answer 14

MY experience with adoption was horrific. I wouldn't wish being abandoned/adopted on anyone except my vicious mother.

Answer 15

I'll echo Possum...  Would you please give additional details?  I'm not sure what you are looking for.