What was your best joke that make a girl/boy die laughing ?

Question

What was your best joke that make a girl/boy die laughing ?

Answer 1

It was in REALLY bad taste but I couldn't help myself.  Someone told me that they knew somebody whose mother and father died together in the Trade Center.

So I said:  "Siggh...whatever.  Don't even get me started on workplace romances."

Answer 2

There were these 3 guys walking through a forest. They got captured by Native Americans, and the chief Native American said to them, "Go get 10 of one fruit and bring it back to me." So the first guy came back with apples, and the Chief Native American said to him "shove them up your butt without showing any facial expressions or emotions or I will boil and eat you." After the 5th one, he cried, so he was boiled and eaten. The second guy came back with cherries, and the Chief Native American said to him "shove them up your butt without showing any facial expressions or emotions or I will boil and eat you." After the 9th one, he burst out laughing, so he was boiled and eaten. Now the 1st guy and 2nd guy are both in heaven, and the 1st guy said to the second guy, "Why did you burst out laughing? you could of saved your life." And the 2nd guy answers, "I saw the 3rd guy coming with pineapples."

it worked every time ;)

Answer 3

a little indian boy walks up to his father and asked

"father, how do you name us kids?"

"well son, when your mother has you, the first thing i see when i walk out of the tipee is your name. thats why your sisters name is "sunshine", and your brothers name is "wolf boy".

"why do you ask 'two dogs f*ucki*ng

Answer 4

Swearing

A 6 year-old tells his 4 year-old brother "You know what? I think it's about time we started cussing." The 4 Year-olds nods his head in approval. "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with 'h**l' and you say something with 'a$$.' ok?" The 4 year-old agrees with enthusiasm.

When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw h**l Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK!!! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. She locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay in there until I let you out."

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year-old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know, but you can bet your fat a$$ it won't be Cheerios."

Answer 5

A nurse who worked at a mental institution was checking on her patients. She walked into the first patients room and he was kicking at the the ground. She asked what he was doing, and he replyed, "When i get out of here I'm going to be a famous soccer player." She then procceded to her next patient, who was pretending to hit a ball, and she again asked him what he was doing, and he replied, "When I get out of here, I'm going to be a baseball player." She then went to her last patient, who was jerking off with a handful of nuts. The nurse was shocked and asked the patient what are you doing, his reply- "I'm F***ing nuts, and I'm never getting out of here!"

Answer 6

What do Broccoli and Anal s*x have in common?

You won't like either if you're forced to have them as a kid.

Answer 7

there's no perfect joke. a good tact would be sarcasm ( comment on whatever's going on ( be witty ) and try to make it sound funny ). If you're a nice guy/girl trying to impress a nice/girl politely joke about things that make you laugh. If you really thought it was funny and they didn't you probably shouldn't hang out with them.

Answer 8

A lady goes on the bus with her baby. The guy sitting next to her says "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

The lady goes stomping to the back of the bus. She tells the guy next to her "That man just insulted me."

Then the guy next to her says "Oh, you better go tell him off. Here I'll hold your monkey."

Answer 9

On a more serious note, it wasn't quite a "joke" as in "haha" but this is the God's truth. When I was in my twenties I worked in production for my city's newspaper press. I was the only female on the graveyard shift with about 200 men. I really learned to stand up for myself at that job, and I earned my male co worker's respect and friendship in return. But there was one exception, a Supervisor who made it his mission to make my life pure h**l. He had this strange obsession about my hair being pulled back tightly at all times,( there was a rule that long hair had to be pulled back to avoid being caught in machinery) and as soon as a wisp of  my hair would fall out of place, he would be like a Marine drill Sargent in my face.

In those days, most of the guys had long hair as well, but he never bothered any of them about it.

Well, after the second time of  being taken into the office and being given official written warnings of misconduct by this hateful man, I was P I S S E D. As I left the office, I looked back at him and said, "I hope you go home and have yourself a coronary from getting so worked up over the trivial things in life!"

The next night when I came in for my shift, I learned that he had died from a heart attack. I'll never forget the odd feeling that hit me like a brick wall! And I will never say those words again, no matter what my feelings are toward someone or how validated they are.

(My job was a lot more pleasant after that, I must admit.)