What was your motivation for doing an International Adoption?

Question

I just never really considered it outside of an agency that only finds adoptive homes for children with Downs Syndrome. I really doubt that it's ever going to happen now that we have 7 kids. But I was wondering why people choose that route versus domestic adoption? And please don't think that I am putting IA down. I try to respect all paths to parenting, even if it's not something I would do.

Answer 1

I haven't adopted, but I've been reading on a lot of websites about it. From what I hear American children are placed in group homes and foster care while in like Russia there are 250 children living in dorm rooms. 8 per room with 1-3 adults "caring" for them all. Then within a mile away there's like 4 more orphanages with the same number of children. Pretty awful. I guess some people may want to give those kids a chance they wouldn't have in their own country.

I have a friend who is Chinese, her parents moved here, and she can't have children so her and her husband want to adopt from China because she wants the child to look like her.

I've also heard IA is easier. *shrug*

Answer 2

We researched everything we could find about adoption before deciding that international adoption was what we wanted to do and what was the best for our family.  

We didn't do it for the "stock" reasons that are often being tossed around.  We didn't do it for sainthood, we didn't do it to be "trendy", we didn't do it because we wanted an infant/toddler, we didn't do it because it is easier, or cheaper, or because we didn't want to deal with "birth mama drama".  

We chose a country program that nobody ever hears about because after a lot of research, we liked the country program, we liked the agency and we liked the process.  

IA isn't for everyone and it's certainly something that needs to be entered into after being well educated and informed.  Parenting international adoptees is an ongoing learning process.  There isn't a whole lot out there for us, resource-wise.  And there's almost nothing out there that specifically addresses internationally adopted children who were adopted at school-age.  

I also respect all paths to parenting.  Best of luck to you in your path!

ETA: And I couldn't tell you how often I've had to say, "No, not Libya... Liberia!"  =D

Answer 3

Interesting...someone asked me this today.

I am not an IAP and I do NOT have anything against it.

But, I think most people believe people adopt internationally so that they can get babies or toddlers.  So that they can basically "have a clean slate" to work with and let grow and develop.

Most kids in the Foster care system that are available for adoption are older than 5 years old.  Not moldable and definitely not clean slates.

That is what I think most people believe, if you asked the common person.

Answer 4

I guess there are a million answers to this question.  Here is ours. We are Americans.  We have two biological sons.  They were born in the US.  After they were born my employer offered me a job overseas.  We decided it would be fun adventure for a few years and then we would come back to small town America.  Well that was almost 10 years ago.  Our overseas home is just that.  When we decided that we wanted another child, we also REALLY wanted a girl. This particular country has an abundance of unwanted daughters and it just seemed like the right thing for us to do.  We adopted a 9 month old daughter. She was very sick and needed all kinds of medical attention.  Now she is 7.  She is an amazing little person.  International adoptions are sometimes a real pain in the *&@.  But, I would not trade this little one for anything in the world. It just worked for us.

Regards.  

Answer 5

They obviously offer childeren with handicaps more often because these children are always over looked in favour for healthy fit children.  It's hard to explain but as one would know it would be a difficult to raise a child that has any health problems from Downs to Musclar Dystrophy.  Not many people would want to have that responsiblity or even want to take time out to research on what is availble treatments or is their house accessible for a child that is confinded to a wheelchair.

That is my theory.

Answer 6

I'm a single AMom.  I wanted to adopt an infant.  I researched my options - Foster to adopt, domestic infant adoption, and IA.  IA seemed to be my best chance as a single mom to adopt an infant.  I also happen to love travel to obscure places, and so it just seemed like the best fit for me.  I was told by the foster to adopt programs that it's very rare to adopt an infant from the foster care system, and I was told by domestic agencies that it would be very rare for a birth mom to choose a single mother over all the couples that are looking to adopt.  My daughter's birth country has lots of infants living in orphanges, and there's no discrimination against single moms.