What will make me more "ready" and prepared to have a baby?

Question

I am in my mid 20s and I want to start having kids before I'm in my 30s. (especially since my mom had tons of pregnancy complications by her mid 30s, and reached early menopause by 39 or 40!) I was angry when people told me I "wasn't ready" and should "get an abortion" when I was pregnant 2 yrs ago. The reason I was angry was because I was being a responsible frugal person yet people still didn't see me to be as "good enough" at becomming a mom as other 'expecting' people approx my age. When I miscarried, I was hurt that I wasn't able to "meet" my baby and also prove how capable I truly felt I was. Since then, I've worked my butt off to become more prepared than ever for the next time I hopefully fall pregnant. Here's what I've done so far:

- have an HMO insurance plan with maternity coverage

- have a full-time office job a part-time second job for extra cash

- kept up with my bills, and paid off debt and loans several years early

- have a college degree (well, actually this was completed even before my miscarriage in 06)

- I am conservative with living expenses -- e.g., I take mass transit despite having more than 1 running car, my electric bill rarely exceeds $25/mo, I shop the bargain rack at Value City, etc.

- I read up on pregnancy books and forums all the time so I'd know what to expect

- I've already designed a budget for pregnancy first year baby expenses, and factored that into my current income

- I'm kind to children and unlike everybody else on the bus, I don't mind if babies on bus or train start crying. I just continue to smile sweetly at them.

- I'm a law abiding citizen that does good to others. I'm not going to get arrested anytime soon!

- Speaking of...I don't do any illegal drugs and I only drink rarely. I do not smoke.

Oh but apparently Axy STILL doesn't think I'm "ready" for a baby:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhAuKJ5pGF5JpnhALK8YDlLsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080811112322AADM8kW

WTF? What is the point if tolerating screaming babies on the bus and even taking the bus at all to save money towards having a baby, if people are going to STILL see me as "not ready"??

I'm almost 26, the age that my parents and most of my friends' parents were when they had us...the age that a lot of people are starting to have kids at. Please do not tell me I'm immature for my age after I've worked so freakin hard.

What else does it take?? What else does it take to prove that I really AM ready to get pregnant???? WTF?

Answer 1

You sound like your ready but in all honesty if all women waited until they were ready a lot of them would not of had any kids i know ,i was never ready even though i could afford it but still had my girls and I'm glad i did  

Answer 2

It is not the age of the person - but their maturity. I'm going to be quite honest with you here:

I know you really WANT a baby, but by posting the above you have made yourself seem too immature to have a child. A person who is ready to have a baby would not be looking for the approval of others by stating all they do/ have to make themselves ready for one.

If you want a child, then go about the business of having one. Do not wait for approval from others. If there is even an inkling of doubt or fear, do yourself the favor and wait.  

Answer 3

It does sound like you're capable, hon.  I'm sorry for your previous loss, and wish you all the best going forward.  

My only "advice", however, is that if you're able to, try to change from HMO to PPO.  Unless your company has a great HMO plan, I hear from other people that HMO sucks.  My husband works with a lady who had PPO, then switched to HMO (because it was cheaper) but stayed at her old doctor's-- and he stopped paying as much attention to her because doctors don't get as much $ off of HMO patients as they do off of PPO patients.  

Answer 4

sounds like your a very responsible person and i wish u loads of luck . your baby will be truly loved

Answer 5

If you feel ready to have a baby, you shouldn't really care what other people think. It sounds like you've been working hard to be financially responsible, but there is a lot more to being a mommy than having your finances in order. But when people tell you that you're not ready or you'll ruin your life, ignore them the best you can. Only you can decide when you're ready, and only you will be the one to take care of your child.

On an aside, you don't mention a man in your life. If there is a special someone, you can ignore what I'm about to say, but if not, please read it. There's nothing wrong with being a single mom (I am) but it is very, very hard. You're there 24/7 with no breaks. My son's father and I were married when we had him and divorced when he was 2. My ex moved 6,000 miles away then moved to 3,000 miles away, but hasn't seen his son in nearly 5 years. He rarely even talks to him on the phone. When he was younger, I didn't see this as a problem. I figured I could do everything myself. But now that my son is 7, and he sees all his friends with their fathers, he has a lot of questions and a lot of resentment toward his father. Even though I try to give him everything, a part of him feels rejected because of his father. My advice is this: Try your very best to make sure that the father of your child will be around for that child, even if he's not there for you.

Answer 6

Axy sounds jealous.. and shes really ugly so she probably just hates life. I wouldn't worry about her if I were you.