What will you do ? if your so called friend calls your husband and talks rubbish about you?

Question

Few months ago a member in my group had started cooking classes. i keenly joined. i jokingly said to her, its great way to earn pocket money and pass time "

she said to me .."I'm offended I'm doing this as its my hobby . I'm not short of money" I'll return your money

well after that i didn't speak to her at all.

now this morning she calls my husband and says .." iv heard Barley is spreading what i said..ans she's telling ppl that i have not returned the money yet" and she bitched about me.

now in the same group i have best friend..i told her about this misunderstanding .. but never mentioned the cash stuff , which she wants to return etc.

I'm not interested in the money..its so juvenile that she(this so called friend) is acting so weird.

and the nerve of calling my husband.

now this close friend , knows all my dirty stuff too. iv been friends with her last 7 years never has such a thing happened .

what am i supposed to do ?

now i dont see the need of calling her up and clarifying.. she told my husband that someone told her. and when my spouse asked her , who she said i cant tell.

its so irritating . what do i do?

Answer 1

You just need to clarify things with this so called friend of yours. How old are you guys? It's so childish of her to be spreading these rumors about you, like you guys are still in high school. Just call her up and tell her straight up, I don't want your dirty money, so stop harassing me!

Answer 2

dont get into these suject. let her do wht ever she want to do. avoid her.

Answer 3

Be careful what you tell people from now on, if she knows your secrets and then falls out with you there's a risk she'll tell others. When I was 17 I told a close friend of mine that I might leave my religion and we fell out and she phoned not just my family but also my rabbi and told them all and got a lot of people upset, even today some of my family are annoyed with about it, so ever since then I haven't trusted anyone with anything (except for my husband), be careful what you say to people especially if they're easily offended. Oh and she had no right to phone your husband that was just lame on her part, very childish.

Answer 4

Jesus Christ Barley...how Machiavellian. I can tell you this...if this is a 'friend' I'd hate to see someone who really has disdain for you.

Your remark to her about passing time and alittle extra pocket cash was innocuous. How she could derive some insult out of that is beyond me other than she's apparently a miserable person who seems to enjoy feeding on some type of problem that she takes enjoyment in manufacturing. In addition, to call your husband and carry the issue to that level is now out of bounds.

You shouldn't have apologized because your remark wasn't spiteful. However I can understand that in the hopes to keep peace you'd offer one up. But she isn't satisfied with that and for whatever reason wants to keep this thing alive and feed it.

Friend for 7 years or not I'd suggest cooling this relationship off but fast. Of course the moment you shut her down you realize that she'll be calling you after a fashion. The call will be either all cutsey-pie, innocent "Why haven't you called have I done something wrong?" type or the arrogant and mouthy attitude that will only solidify the fact she won't let this go.

But whatever the reason a persons conduct towards so-called friends is no excuse for bad manners. Most people will say "I was having a bad week". Well...tough. Keep your bad weeks to yourself and don't make me your whipping boy.

Of course....if she actually hasn't returned your money then it's pretty clear she DOES need the money. And moreso than you if she has to whine about it.

And yes...money really isn't the issue as far as your concerned but it is with her. Hence the reason why your innocent comment got the response it did. You struck a nerve. She must need the cash.

I'd cross her off my Christmas card list if I were you.  

Answer 5

Are you sure you never told anyone because it could have gotten back to her if you did and no one is fessing up to telling. Or maybe because of your comment she thinks you did if she believes you are that type of person by knowing you so many years. Example I have a family friends who talks s*** about everyone we know when he is at our house and I can't stand it because my first thought is when he is over one of there houses we are included in the line up because that's the type of person he is.

Answer 6

This is a tough one, I think your friend is over reacting. Don't say anymore about this situation to anyone, if they bring it up tell them you would rather not talk about it. Ask your husband, that if this woman calls again to not indulge her in this conversation. Use caller ID or voice mail to handle her calls. Give it some time and space to let the dust settle, maybe your friend IS having money issues and you accidentally hit a nerve? She obviously read your comment wrong. If as time goes by and the sting of the whole thing stops hurting and you still want her as a friend, maybe send her a card asking how she is. If she continues to badmouth you I would write off her friendship as a learning experience.

Answer 7

1. she aint you  friend. so dont worry about her.

that one person less for christmas presents .

and

2. if your husband belives a word out of her mouth... guesss  you need to sit down and have a long chat with your mir right .

Answer 8

She is no 'Friend' .  Dont keep someone like that in your life, let alone your inner circle.  Rise above it and not indulge in her attention seeking busy body drama.

Your husband should trust you, your words and have total faith in you.... and stay out of this 'women business'. Ask him to not have a conversation with this women again if she calls and that you are upset by having found your 'friend' (or friends) turned out not to be so and that you are dealing with it.

Good Luck.

Answer 9

I can't really get into reading all of this because it's too long but I'll say this any woman that you consider a friend that calls your husband and talk rubbish about you!!!!!!!!!!!!  Is either jealous of your relationship with your husband, really truly isn't your friend and don't like you.........

A true friend would know her place and not have any contact with your husband or more or less even be holding a conversation about you with him..........................  She shouldn't be talking to him at all and she sure wouldn't be considered any friend of mine........  As for the husband get him straight with listening to anyone other then you or even indulging because nobody shouldn't be able to tell him anything about you other then you!!!!!!!!!!!!  He's in a relationship with you and not anyone else and he should already have the 411 on how catty some women can be and he shouldn't listen.............

This all seems childish if you ask me!  

Answer 10

Do you always have such enthusiasm for making mountains out of molehills?  You're letting yourself get awfully upset over something very trivial.  I think that what you should do is get a life.  If this is all it takes to get you this upset, your life must be miserable.  Please, grow some perspective.

Answer 11

okay i would slap her face and if your spuse doesnt believe that you didnt talk that rubbish then seperate for a bit

Answer 12

Why were you friends with her in the first place?? I have an idea....take the money back on a day there is a class...walk right up to her and shove it down her throat!!!!!111

Answer 13

The best way to solve an issue with an immature ex friend is to leave it alone.

She is trying to ruffle your feather and YOU ARE LETTING HER.

Ignore it, go on with your life, and leave her be.

Either she will realize what an idiot she has been OR she will continue to keep up her false pride...

As for contacting your husband about it, just ask him, out of respect for you, to refrain from any further conversations with her.

Hope this was of some help.

God Bless.

Answer 14

I would not associate myself with her anymore.  Sounds like she is a trouble maker and has time to take care of everyone else's business but not her own.  As long as your husband does not believe her that's all that matters.  But I would have to call this hoochie and tell her not to be calling my husband about anything.  Don't let her say anything.  That way you will have peace within yourself.  If another friend comes to you and says "she said so & so", well, that's not really a friend either.  One who stirs in trouble would have to be out of my life.  What is more important to you?

Answer 15

Well, when she got offended, if she was my friend.  I would apologize and tell her I didn't mean to offend.  I wouldn't of stopped talking to her.  You made it a problem, when you didn't address the issue and decided to stop talking to your friend.  She was wrong for calling your husband, if she had an issue she should of called you, not exception, period!  Now with all this said and done, I would go to her, because mature people address issues.  I would tell her, that the other day, I did not mean to offend, but I would have to admit, I did not appreciate her calling my husband.  I would also tell her that i told one person of our conversation, but at no time made it seem as though I wanted to spread rumors or start trouble."  She can either accept it or not.  My husband would of never entertained that c**p.  He would of told he to call back when I came home.

Edit:  You did not say you apologized, therefore I did not assume.  Since you have clearly changed the tempo of the story, I would just not deal with her or you could address her about calling your husband.  It depends on you.  I would tell her I apologized and I did not appreciate her calling my husband and suggest to her, not to do it again, because if she does have an issue, it is with me and has nothing to do with my husband.  I would tell my husband if she called again to hang up on her.

Answer 16

I envy you.  Apparently your life is so blessed and so fullfilling that you have to CREATE drama in your life to complain about.  I think you should all go out for margaritas, apologize, and get a clue.  

Answer 17

I guess I don't understand why she would be offended unless the woman is flat out nuts or you caught her in a manic period of bipolar.  Unless there's more to the story that what you're relaying...I'd chalk this up to a dealing with an oversensitive nut....I know you've known your friend for a while...but maybe it's time to sever ties.

Answer 18

tell you husband you and the chic fell out.  He will understand b/c females are evil....ESPECIALLY when they are unhappy.  Then CHECK HER.  Call her and check her.  Tell her you do not appreciater her calling your husband and telling him anything.  If she has an issue with you, then it's with you.  Get in her *ss.

Answer 19

It seems like everyone needs to grow up!  If your husband didn't put a stop to her bad mouthing you, when she called, this is an issue you should address with him.  Ignore everything and move on.  Its not worth the grief!  Good Luck!