What would Michael Schumacher say if he got the chance to talk to God?
As we all know that Michael Schumacher is the best driver Formula 1 has produced 'statistically' without a shadow of doubt. He has 7 championships under his belt with the help of 94 wins and 154 podium positions. The German legend also proved that he is
the fastest driver in the sport as well as he took 68 pole positions in an almost 17 year old career. But God just can’t give anyone everything now can he? You know what they say, “With great power comes great responsibility.”
Michael is one of those people who believe that they have everything and no one can be more versatile than them. Well he is wrong. He is clearly not the most versatile driver in the sport; in fact he might be the least versatile driver in Formula 1. Schumacher
has won 5 out of his 7 championships with Ferrari and yes, it was amazing. But Michael ruined it for himself after openly being helped by his teammate Rubens Barrichello back then and scoring an abundance of gifted points.
However, the German was thrashed by Fernando Alonso in 2005 and 2006 and the Spaniard did it without his teammate Giancarlo Fisichella’s help. After that, Michael decided to retire from Formula 1, which seemed like the best option for him as he ended his
career on a high note. But our dear friend Michael Schumacher just can’t live without ruining something he has achieved.
Schumacher returned to the sport in 2010 with Mercedes GP led by one of his oldest friends; Ross Brawn. The season was... disastrous in every way for Michael. However, since the German driver is so stubborn and immature, I am pretty sure he blames no one
but God.
One has to wonder, what Michael Schumacher would tell God if he gets the chance to talk to him after failing so badly in 2010?
Michael Schumacher:
“Hey God. What’s up?”
God:
“Hello Michael. I have been waiting to talk to you.”
Michael Schumacher:
“Save it God, You owe me a championship.”
God:
“Well that is what I wanted to talk to you about. I have decided that I will not help you anymore Michael. I talked to Rubens Barrichello and Nico Rosberg about it as well. I believe that it is their time to shine now and they won’t help you either.”
Ross Brawn:
“NO!!!!!!!!!”
Michael Schumacher:
“Ok don’t give me the usual “bling bling” talk. Shine? What is that supposed to mean? You took Hitler away from us and now I believe that it is time that I carry on the legacy, but in the form of motorsports.”
God:
“Well I gave Sebastian Vettel a championship title. I believe he is carrying on the legacy now isn’t it?”
Michael Schumacher:
“Oh please! Do you think he can carry on Hitler’s legacy with that uneven wheat-like beard of his?”
Sebastian Vettel:
“I heard that Michael!”
Michael Schumacher:
“Haha! I am just kidding Sebastian! You’re the man! *whispers* Why did you dial a conference call God? It was supposed to be our thing?!?!?”
God:
“Hold on Michael I have another call, hey Alonso what’s up ma man!?
Fernando Alonso:
“I think I should win the championship next year.”
Michael Schumacher:
“What? Is that Fernando? Ok, Now you’re going to ditch me God? Oh that’s quite professional of you now isn’t it?!”
God:
“Listen Michael the point is, Felipe Massa won’t help Fernando ever! I think you can take on Alonso yourself now can’t you?”
Felipe Massa:
“For sure I will be the 2010 Formula 1 champion.”
God:
“What’s wrong with you Felipe!?!?! 2010 is over.”
Michael Schumacher:
“Don’t you remember what happened in 2005 and 2006? Fernando literally stripped me in front of the whole world! I don’t want that to happen!”
God:
“I believe there is no other option but retiring.....again.”
Rubens Barrichello:
“Please say yes! Please say yes!”
Michael Schumacher:
“I am not a quitter! Ross Brawn and I will come up with something! Who needs God by his side?? I am going to come back once again in 2011 and win the title. YOU’LL SEE!!”
Adolf Hitler:
“After what Michael did in 2010. I wish I wasn’t a German.”
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