What would Paul the psychic octopus predict about Formula 1 if he were still alive? (Part 1)
Octopus Paul was an ordinary octopus with extraordinary psychic skills, as many people believe. After his sound predications, regarding 2010 FIFA World Cup winners, in an unsound manner came to limelight, commoners started eyeing him more than a just a dinner
treat.
Paul the psychic octopus predicted mostly about football but it would have been interesting to hear what he had to say about Formula 1, that is, if he were still alive. Since the 2010 Formula 1 season was quite unpredictable in every way, the 2011 Formula
1 season is expected to be somewhat similar or even more exhilarating than the 2010 season. If octopus Paul was alive, he would have been in quite a quandary, when questioned about the assumption.
First of all, he might have said that Formula 1 might face an even bigger financial crisis in the near future - all thanks to our young friend Bernie Ecclestone who is the CEO of the FIA and has been coming up with some “bright ideas” that have momentarily
blurred his 6/6 vision.
The FIA are currently going through a major financial crisis. Building tracks all around the world, without a huge turnout is definitely going to harm the sport’s image. The governing body will face even more financial instability, in case these grand prixs
are not a success.
Let’s say if Bernie decides to hold a race in Zambia, it would be quite absurd since the natives may regard the sport as nothing more than an improvised form of the “Zambian dance.” In such circumstances, octopus Paul would predict that Bernie Ecclestone
would soon go nuts either after focusing too much on the erratic hip moves or facing the stark reality that the idea is not required
at all (which I highly doubt).
For McLaren, octopus Paul will have to think twice before saying anything. Let’s face it; we have Jessica Michibata and Jenson Button in at one side, (emphasis on Jessica Michibata who is an Asian model, for the love of God). And in the other corner, we
have Lewis Hamilton and Nicole Scherzinger, who is a p***y cat doll, (emphasis on “p***y cat doll”). It would be quite difficult for “Mr Paul” to decide who to side with in this case, especially when team orders will now be legal.
Now comes Ferrari. Even a blind, deaf, or dumb guy can guess that Ferrari is going to do everything in their power to make sure that their team secures both titles. In order to do that, the team will have to perform the most “racist” act in the sport; prefer
one of their drivers over the other. In Ferrari’s case, it is quite obviously going to be Fernando Alonso as we all know that Felipe Massa won’t be able to perform at his best anytime soon, since he will be busy mastering the provocative Zambian dance.
Red Bull will support both of their drivers...not! It is somewhat obvious and the team has quite clearly stated that they are going to evolve around the youngest world champion in the history of the sport, that is, Sebastian Vettel. However, the team might
lose him in a year or two as Sebastian recently admitted that he dreams of driving a Ferrari anytime soon, as Massa is busy with the distinctive moves. Therefore, Red Bull will not prefer either of their drivers and ask both of them to race at their best.
And as a result, none of them will win the title making it easier for both McLaren and Ferrari. Both of the teams will get a chance to settle their differences, simply put...fighting for their lives, and off course, the titles.
(The comments above are the writers creation and solely for the purpose of adding hilarity to the article)
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