What would YOU do if you had a friend like this?

Question

i'm 14 going into 8th grade, & last year i met this girl who was in all my classes & we became close friends [best friends]

i changed alot in the past few months & me and my friends have nothing in common so whats the point of hanging out with them? im not gonna ditch them, but i want to meet new people this year and make new friends that have common interests.

but the more i change and want to meet new people, the more my friend seems to be clingy and obsessed with me. she has tons of friends, and almost everyone likes her, but she is so stuck on me, and i dont know why!! she is always all "HEY BESTIE!!!" and telling me how cool and awesome i am. and the second i log on the computer she IMs me right away. and today we got our school schedules, and we dont have any classes together, and shes making such a huge deal about it & freaking out!!

i talked to my grandma about her & my grandma also said she sounds clingy and kinda obsessed with me, and its not just me thinking that.

i do want to be friends with her!!! but not so buddy-buddy 24/7.

if i tell her straight up that shes clingy and i need space she will start meaningless drama, and if i am just breif with her like "hi" or "bye, gotta go" and just make small talk, she will think im mad at her or something and she will bug me and FOLLOW me more until i say im mad at her or until i start talking to her & hanging around her alot.

what should i do??

what would YOU do if you had a friend like this?

Answer 1

Friend breakups (or "redefining relationships") can be good practice for romantic breakups later on. You can try the "its not you, it's me" line that works so well in romantic situations.  If you feel you became friends by accident--being in the same place a lot, not really sharing much--treat it like that.

But the bigger question is, did you have a real friendship to start with, and right now, you're just focusing on some surface stuff (who's cooler) and some developmental stuff (who's maturing faster)?  If so, it makes more sense to tell her that you're kind of "over" the whole "bestie / you're so awesome / constant IM" pattern.  If you enjoy her, except for the drama, give her a chance to be a friend in a new way--be just as interested and positive, but kick the maturity level up a notch.  

Drama is not meaningless.  It means something to her.  And for the sake of the friendship you (supposedly) felt, give her a chance to process the situation in her own way, even if it is not totally convenient for you.

There will be plenty of times in your life where you would give almost anything to have a huge fan telling you that you are cool and awesome--most of the world will never know your name, or care who you are.  

Maybe she has a richer interior life than some people, and she feels close to people even when they are not around.  So she start the new year the same way she ended the last year.  To you, it's over-the-top and phony, but to her it is natural, and not freaky.  Try looking at it that way, and see it it makes sense.

Answer 2

ooooooooo that happend 2 me once it's summer vacation and i had a freind who called me every day but we had nothing in common so when she called once i told her if she can call me back when her computer get's fixed and when her computer got fixed we talke'd about alot of thing's like did you know the jonas brothers...... and aaaahhhhhhh!!! wow seriously!! lol!

YUP!

BUT 4 you tell her 2 only talk to you on the phone cause you have homework or you have to go to your house early cause of .... blah blah blah

But give me a thumbs down all you want!

all you can do is tell her that you wanna be alone 4 a while or she will stick 2 you like glue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

answer mines!!! http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 3

It sounds like she's afraid of losing you. You guys are/were really good friends but know that your changing and you interests are different she might be scared. She wants to stay friends so she clings to you, to her this 'clingyness' might be comforting for her that way she's always there with you. I have had a friend like that before. you should just reasure her that you'll remain friends and you'll still hang-out together even if you have different friends, different interests, and different classes. She'll have to trust that you mean what you say.

Hope this helps

Answer 4

Maybe she just really likes, and obviously the feelings aren't equally reciprocaled. What many people don't realize is that the times are changing and people/relationships will always be changing. Your friend just doesn't understand you want to seek other people.

The reason she gives drama when you tell up straight up is because she thinks you're still joking or just in a bad mood. You need to be serious and try to make her understand you need your space. If she thinks you're mad at her when you're making small talk, just tell her to please give you some space (don't give in and say you're mad!)

I had the same problem with my friend, but we actually got closer after this period. If I were you, I'd try and stick by your friend because she obviously cares about you a lot.

Answer 5

oh wow. that is a tough situation i had something similar in 8th grade. except i really wasnt close with the girl she just followed me everywhereeeee. the only way to go regardless of how she will take it is tell her the truth. but make sure no one is around you because that will just give room for drama.  

Answer 6

Start listing ur prior activities n when shes excluded, just tell her its my priority. I cant help but growing up everyday, so i need to lesser the not so important things to do n increase the use of my time to be useful. Tell her that she needs to list hers too. And if anyday she/u need to talk,then u guys'll talk. U'll put more meaning in being a friend when u're there when they indeed need u. Then friendship will be meaningful n special.

Answer 7

ugh, i kno where ur at. i had a friend exactly like that, cept i moved across the nation! :D

life is too short to waste it on ppl who annoy u. so be like, chica, gimme my god dam* space!

and if she DOES start drama, b like wtvr n totally dont feed into it.

ENJOY UR 8th GRADE YEAR!!!  

Answer 8

get used to it or slowly

try to avoid her and not talking to her

just take it slow  

Answer 9

I hated when stuff like this happened. It's like, you don't want to hurt her but you don't want her on top of you 24/7. Either you learn to deal with it (which is probably the wrong thing to do, since she will drive you crazy!) or tell her the truth. Just explain to her pretty much exactly what you said here. If she's hurt by it, she will get over it. More than likely she will realize that you're right. Good luck! :)

& ALSO -- she needs to stop clinging to you anyway, because since you have no classes together, what is she going to do come school? Cry the whole day because you're not with her? & what about when you go off to college? She has to learn to stand on her own two feet or she's only going to make her life worse.

& thanks for my answer by the way -- I couldn't find a Juno jacket on there but I did find ones I liked a LOT better! So thanks!