What would be a good strategy?

Question

I moving back in with my husband after a couple of months of being separated. We are seeing a counselor still but I don't want things to go back to the way they were. He was controlling and verbally abuse. I had a tragedy in my family and he has been right here for me and is really trying...I just cant be alone after this tragedy either. Should I put my stuff in storage so if he turns into a jerk again i can just leave or should i Even go back? I don't know what to do? I need a plan of action so I m not stuck there again. I have a job and a car.

Answer 1

I would stay where your at and just visit him. If he don't like that way- then to h**l with him! He'll eventually turn into his real self again. Just remember -- some men will do anything to get us back in the sac and then ignore our side of the bargain. It's not that people don't ever change- they just don't usually change for the same person. Listen to my advice! I was in a similar type situation. I would have a back up plan.

Answer 2

It is great that you think of moving back  and give it a try and hope you can find that connection back.  But only for company is not a good idea.

as i see, you are need company to try to get you through the bad moment and that is not a good reason to come back to EX.

you should find different way to get you through with the sadness.

Between you and your ex, there is no guarantee of how thing will work out. If you want to give it a try, I think you two should starting to dating each other. Ok to spend time together but not to move right in.

Answer 3

You might try grief counseling on your own and separately from the marital counseling.  Don't make any long term decisions and see how it goes.  If your husband is there for you right now when you need someone, great.  No one is asking you to make lifetime commitments at this moment of time.  Just take it slow.  Don't be in a hurry to move back in with him as chances are, he is still the controlling and verbally abusive person he was just two months ago.  That kind of behavior doesn't go away quickly, but good for him for seeing a counselor.  Definitely a step in the right direction.

Answer 4

i think that guys only abuse girls whom they think they can abuse and who won't leave them anyway. and since he won you back even after your previously traumatic experience with him...my guess is that he CAN abuse you again. so be ready. either accept him as your abuser husband or be ready to finally leave him for good once he does it again.

regarding your stuff, i guess they don't matter too much. plan about your kid/kids if you have some. be sure they grow up with you and not with your husband.

Answer 5

Sounds like you're basically using him to get through your social crisis. He's a jerk?? Okay, you're probably a lot like him. Until both of you, "Really change", things will go back to the way they were. You do the math.