What would be a logical consequence for this kind of situation?

Question

I've heard of all these new "love and logic" parents who only believe in using natural consequences to discipline their children. Let me ask them this:

Your 4 year old is jumping on the couch. There's a fire place close by. Do you allow your child to keep on jumping and bust their head on the fire place or do you give an unnatural consequence and stop them?

Answer 1

i would tell him he has until the count of 1 and a half to remove his keester from the couch , or i will smack his little ***. then if he still doesn't get down, i would walk over and tell him hes gonna get 3 swats because he didn't listen the first time. but thats me.

Answer 2

unnatural consequence and stop them.

all of my kids know not to do that anyway though!

:)

Answer 3

The 4 year old should not be jumping on the couch regardless of the proximity of the fireplace.  It's both unsafe and rude.

That being said, my rule of thumb is, weight the value of the lesson with the potential damage of the consequence.  For example, once my 4 month old starts to get curious about outlets, I'll hand him a paper clip and let him play with a 110v GFI'd outlet.  It'll give him a nice little jolt.  This way, he won't have to learn the hard way on a 220v 30amp outlet, which could do some major damage.  On the other hand, I won't let him learn to look both ways before crossing the street in the same manner, since that could do more damage.

Going back to your question, I would give an "unnatural consequence," since the natural consequence method only work in terms of danger, not social acceptability.  Don't be "that parent" with the rude kid.

Answer 4

Interesting I've thought similar thoughts myself. Of course a four year old should know better than to be jumping on the couch to begin with and hopefully the parents have taught them respect for possessions. I would opt for the "unnatural" consequence of telling my child to get down and probably either remove a privilege or send them to the corner. Either way I will be telling them that jumping on furniture is a dangerous thing to do and that they will not do it because they could hurt themselves. I won't leave it at just a talk. They still need a consequence.  When I see them sitting nicely I will provide a positive reinforcement for that.

I am not 100% against so called "natural" consequences, but I am against the whole idea of no consequences other than natural ones. Sometimes unnatural consequences are needed; point blank.

-mgnavado- Kids will continue dangerous behavior to push the limits.  It's not that they don't know it's dangerous, they don't care because for the moment it's fun.  It's like a teenager engaging in road rage.  They know it's dangerous, they just don't care because it's fun.  You can't tell me that a teenager engaging in road rage doesn't know it's unsafe.  And by the way, not all people who engage in potentially dangerous behavior are depressed.  Some do it for the thrill.  I'm not saying it's any better of a reason, but you cannot assume that people do dangerous things because they are depressed.  I guess all pro-bull riders or stunt doubles are seriously depressed, huh?

Answer 5

They have shown that they don't understand how to be safe on the couch.  The logical consequence is that they lose the right to be on the couch unsupervised.  They can earn that right back when they show that they know how to keep themselves safe, unsupervised.  

Love & Logic does not advocate letting your kids do whatever they want, unsupervised, as they try to figure it all out on their own.  It advises parents to allow their children to learn to make good choices based on the real consequences of their choices, not just to avoid a punishment or earn a reward.  

If you really want to learn more about it, they have a website at: http://www.loveandlogic.com/articles.htm...  

And, if you google, 'Natural and logical consequences', you'll find even more information.

Also, the books are available at most public libraries

Edit to add: If they truly understand the danger, why are they continuing to make a dangerous choice?  That's the kind of thing only a seriously depressed person would do.

Clearly they don't understand what would happen to them if they fell, cut their head open & perhaps died from the wound.  Either explain that to them until they actually understand, or supervise them until they are ready to learn that.

Nice language, by the way.

Answer 6

umm whats an unnatural consequence, and of course you stop them!!!  and put them in time out in a corner.. get one of those kid moon chairs and set it in the corner they are only like 12 dollars at walmart. dont let him get up until he understands what you are sayin is right and wrong

Answer 7

OKay, there is a caveat to "love and logic" parenting.  

All bets are off when there is a safety issue!  

That's the same as letting your child get hit by a car if they don't learn to look both ways.  

Sheesh.

Answer 8

I'd tell my kid to stop jumping on the couch, and if he doesn't listen then give him a time out.  You aren't talking about a skinned knee or scraped elbow, but the possibility of him busting his head open.  Also, it's not being respectful of your property.  I don't jump on my son's stuff so he shouldn't be jumping on mine.  I'm not super strict, we're actually pretty laid back on most stuff, but we do have a few house rules.  The "no jumping on the couch" is pretty much a standard here and that's without a fireplace nearby.  

Answer 9

what would the unnatural consequence be? it all depends. but i would start by giving him/her a time out when they jump on the couch. your child needs to understand that what they are doing is dangerous and that they need to stop. and they may not stop because at this age they like to test you and see how far they can push but you need to tell them to stop and if they dont then put them on time out until they learn thier lesson.

Answer 10

well I am a believer in positive discipline but that doesn't mean all consequences are natural ones. Only when the situation allows for a natural consequence to take place safely.

I would stop the jumping and make "no jumping on the furniture" a set rule and would come up with a set consequence for breaking the rule and then I would be sure to follow through each time and be consistent to let my child know that it won't ever be tolerated for safety reasons. I would also praise my child when I noticed them sitting properly on the furniture.

Answer 11

In my house, it's quite "natural" to be punished if you break a rule or disobey.  Sometimes the punishment IS something that naturally occurs as a result of the wrong doing.  For example jumping on the couch:  if he/she does it, they have to get off the couch...naturally.  But if he/she does it again after they've been allowed back on the couch, the punishment is a bit more severe.  This is how consequences are handled in my home.  We teach our children that every decision they make carries a consequence.  Sometimes it's a good one, sometimes it isn't.  If the "natural" consequence fits the crime, great.  But sometimes the deed may call for more severe punishment.