What would be a mature method or form of telling my mom/dad that I am sexually active?

Question

I'm 16 and I had a boyfriend for about 5 months and we've a had protected s*x a few times. I think it would be in both my parents and my own interest if they knew I was S.A. However, I have no idea how to present this information to them because my father is a colonel, non-practicing catholic, and a doctor and my mother is an avid viewer of Oprah/Dr.Phil and she's a nurse(medical parents taught that me penises were giant disease hoses). Here's the kicker of the entire situation, my parents didn't know I was in a relationship, but they do know him as a friend of mine. I know the mature thing would be to sit them down and blurt it out, but my parents are extremely intimidating to talk to(they assume the worse). Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank You.

Answer 1

You sound like a responsible teen informing your parents. It's better that they hear it from you than to discover it all on their own (which might have worse consequences). Just sit down and tell them that you felt it was time they knew that you were sexually active, but that you're taking all the precautionary steps to keep it safe, etc. let them know that you're being honest and responsible about it.

Answer 2

Show them the condoms you used in every occasion and they will know that you were responsible. (Hey, being blunt and to the point will work best).

Answer 3

Intimidating or not I would tell them straight out.  They need to know so they can make sure you are protected and safe.

Answer 4

i no its a good thing to be honest with them but they might not trust u going out to much because they will probably think ur out "doin it". ya no wut i meen? im all for it if u want to tell them but it will be extremely akward.

it would be best to stop having s*x all together

Answer 5

Well let me tell you the truth - I have been there before - and if you ever want to see that boy again... or any boy for that matter, I would not be telling them anything!!!

But if you insist on letting them know, I would tell your mom first. Moms, whether you are close to them or not, tend to react better and can usually help decide on how the dad should be told - if at all. My step mom did not tell my dad. She told me that it would break his heart. He found out later anyways (shouldn't have been snooping!), but at least he didn't know when I actually began having s*x! I would go to her and just tell her that you think you need to look into getting on birth control. She will look at you and ask if you think you are pregnant. From there she will probably take over the conversation, just having you fill in the blanks - who, where, how often, why....

good luck!

Answer 6

My advise as a mother would be to NOT say a thing.  How would you like it if your mom came to you and said...honey, your father and i are going to be sexually active tonight.  Just wanted you to know.

I'm sure you're parents are a little more in tune with you than what you think and probably already know what is going on.  However, don't volunteer this information.

If you are having s*x with your boyfriend, make sure you are protected.  Be responsible.  Use your head.  

If your parents asks you if you are . . .then you will have the opportunity to tell them the truth.  

Answer 7

first let them know he is your boyfriend. then if they ask tell them. btw be careful.

Answer 8

wait untill your 18 so they dont flip and report rape on all the guys you had s*x with.

Answer mine http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 9

Why do they have to know?

If you got something good going on, you don't need it to be ruined.

Answer 10

I think maybe putting it into some sort of game or puzzle.  Maybe a crossword.

16 across:  Your daughter is having s*x with her boyfriend so she is (blank). (2 words)

When they guess it they might be disappointed but also have a sense of accomplishment.

Answer 11

tell them u have protected s*x

and u like it and ur gna keep on

having it

Answer 12

Wait until you're in college or out on your own.  Too, be sure they have no clues to let them know you're SA as you say.  Be careful and beware.

Answer 13

I think they will appreciate the fact that you are telling them rather than then finding out the hard way!

I think you should sit them down (or just one of them, whichever you feel more comfortable with) , and just tell them how you feel.

Just tell them, and don't hide anything back from them.

They may be disappointed at first, but they will appreciate you stepping up to the plate. Be sure they know that you assume all responsibility of "taking the next step" in your relationship (assuming that you do), and share your heart and feelings with them.

Good luck! :)

Answer 14

I have no idea but GOOD LUCK!  I would be scared out of my mind!

I think you should stop having s*x.

Answer 15

sit one of them down and tell  them. They will tell the other.

Answer 16

Do you have to tell your parents? I didn't! I took myself to Planned Parenthood and got on the pill. As long as your not pregnant,  I wouldn't worry about it! If you do tell them...you're about to unleash a new world of parenting from them- they will loose a level of trust in you and so on...

Don't do it!

Answer 17

Maybe write a letter and explain everything, and let them know that in a postive way how feel, I might write it to your mom first. ; )

Answer 18

I know it isnt what you want to hear, but the only, and the most mature way of doing it IS just to tell them you need to talk to them about something. Sit them down and you just need to tell them that you have been in a relationship for 5 months and you felt ready to go all the way with him. He didnt pressurise you or anything ( reasure them of that) . It was your decision and you wanted to do it. Also, be sure to tell them you were careful and used protection. This is (sorry to say) the only mature way of telling them.

If they have a problem with it, they can't really do much because you already had s*x.

Good luck.

xx

Answer 19

dont tell them. they will find out and when they do they will talk to you. and it makes it less awkward then going to them. but unless you really want to tell them, just sit down with them and talk .

Answer 20

I would take baby steps toward telling them. Usually 16 is the age that most girls are S.A. But first tell them you are in a relationship, because that wouldn't be right to just say I'M SEXUALLY ACTIVE... you know?

So I would just tell them that you would like to talk to them and have them know that what you do, you will talk to them about it. Then tell them you are in a relationship with this guy who you thought was a good friend of yours. Then, just take it slow with them, and tell them that you are S.A, and i'm sure its better for them to know that. They will appreciate you telling them.

Good luck :)

Answer 21

you should try talking to your mom about it first like ask her to go to the gyno or something and if she asks why then you can just tell her  

Answer 22

if you figure your old enough to have s*x than it really shouldn't be a problem

not as grown up as you thought you were ...a??

Answer 23

well if it was my mum and dad it would be seen as ok because they say do it with whoever you can get but for you maybe first you should bring up the topic with them and find out their veiws before actually telling them.

Answer 24

I would not tell them unless you need to get on the pill or something. They will worry more about you and will give you less priveleges.

Answer 25

there is no law or rule that says you have to tell your parents when you start having s*x..i could see if you and your mother were really close and talked openly about everything or your dad either..but it dont sound like you are that close to them so why tell them its not going to help nothing or make them love you more or restpect you more for telling them. i think it may make them not let you go more places more. but its really up to  you...just cause you tell them they wont think your more mature. just have fun be a kid and main thing be safe and make no babies..good luck

Answer 26

What do you hope to gain from telling your parents that you are sexually active?  It seems to me that two people who told you that a p***s was a disease hose won't be well equipped to deal with that fact that you are engaging in intercourse.

Your parents seem to be in the dark about a lot of your private life, I think you should evaluate your own feelings about their lack in information and determine the reason why you feel they need to know you are sexually active.  

Answer 27

do it in their bed and don't clean the sheets.  

or let them walk in on you.   I think they would know then.

Answer 28

I lost my virginity when I was thirteen and my mom found out from someone else. So I think you are extremely mature for wanting to tell your parents yourself. Maybe instead of telling your parents that you are having s*x, you could explain to them that you feel ready and then you can see how they react to that. If they are 100% opposed than it probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell them that you are having s*x. However, if you explain that you are using birth control and that you and your boyfriend are tested and you don't feel like he's pressuring you, that will give your parents a little reassurance. Hope I helped.

Answer 29

just leave a used condom on the kitchen table with a note

Answer 30

If you tell your parents you are having s*x with this guy, they are going to see him as the devil. I'm sorry, but most parents want to try and keep their daughters from having s*x until at least college. They might try and keep you from seeing him again, and there will probably be huge tension and drama in your house for awhile if you tell them anything. You may want to consider your intentions with this guy before you pull your parents into this. Does it go beyond lust? Is he good for you? Can you trust him not to be a player? Is this a relationship with a future? If not, rethink your decision to be having s*x with him. If he's a keeper, don't tell your folks right before an important event, like prom or something like that. Tell them you want to have a serious conversation with them (at a time that is convenient for them too.) Sit down, take a deep breathe, and say, "This guy John Doe is more than just a friend." See how they react. Allow them the chance to tell you what they are thinking/feeling. Be prepared for them to ground you/forbid you from talking to males again. Take it like an adult, don't whine and throw a temper tantrum. Tell them you respect them and want their guidance, but that you have a right to grow up and make decisions, even if it turns out that those decisions suck. Also, inform them of your birth control methods, and definitely go get yourself and your bf tested for everyone's peace of mind.