What would be the solution in cases like this?

Question

A couple with children gets divorced. One parent gets sole custody. The other fights for visitation. For whatever reason, the child is adamant about NOT seeing that parent, or getting any support from them. And, no, the child has not been influenced by the custodial parent.

What would you do if you were in this situation? Would you leave the child alone, or would you continue to push for visitation? For anyone who has any legal experience here, is the child allowed to refuse support payments?

Answer 1

I don't think the child can refuse support payments, because they most likely don't understand the need of the money to help take care of them.  But if they don't want to see the non custodial parent because of what ever reason, than they shouldn't be pushed to.

Answer 2

I can offer some legal perspective on this matter,

In the US legal system, child support is regarded to be your most important obligation. It is not even a debt. There is simply no way to get rid of it. Its payment is mandated by the court and it is absolutely vested at the time that it is due and usually it has to go through the agency. There is no way to get around it. A child CANNOT refuse child support. It's important to realize that child support is not money that is paid in exchange for any kind of service, such as visitation. It is not a debt. For instance, even if a parent doesn't pay one month, and the next month, he/she makes up for it by paying twice the amount, he/she can still be considered to have arrearages. However, courts almost always show leniency.

Child support is not even adjusted when the custodial parent refuses visitation. It is the the very last remedy. The custodial parent will be held in criminal contempt before there is any change in support payments.

When the child refuses visitation (and it has happened) and absolutely does not want to visit with the noncustodial parent some courts in the US will actually hold the child him/herself in contempt. It can *potentially* result in cessation of CS but it really never happens. While visitation is considered to be the right of the non-custodial parent, he/she can actually be held in contempt if he/she doesn't visit the child. So visitation too is considered to be an obligation, although courts really could care less. Courts are far less likely enforce or adjust visitation.

Answer 3

If the child doesn't want to see the other parent, there's probably a very good reason for it. I would guess abuse of some sort. The child should not be forced to see their parent if s/he doesn't want to.

Answer 4

It appears that most do not understand custody and child support in real life.

First of all, "child support" is not paid to the child. It is from the non-custodial parent to the custodial parent in all but exceptional cases, which are rare. There are even cases where the CP and NCP agreed that no money need change hands but the judge in the case ordered it anyway. With the federal government's meddling into families affairs, they were forced to undergo forced garnishment to be sent to CSE. Not only do the children not have ANY voice in the matter of child support, sometimes neither parent does either. When either of the parents choose to enlist the government in what should be a private affair, the government takes over the whole show.

Second, if the parents were fighting over custody and/or "visitation", the most likely cause for a child to not want to spend time with a parent is the contention between them being taught, consciously or unconsciously by the parent, almost always the custodial parent, regardless their s*x. The term is parental alienation syndrome (PAS) and it is quite common.

Currently, there is no way to stop or prevent it because few believe it and the rest don't care.

Answer 5

It sounds like a dreadful situation from every aspect possible. However, no matter what the child in question is saying, both parents have to make sure that he / she receives financial, emotional and physical ( if needed ) support and guidance from both parents until he / she grows up. Parents should unite their efforts ( and overlook their own differences )  to make sure that their child receives needed help to resolve all his / her issues and grow up into well adjusted and happy individual. This is every parent's goal, and the law most likely supports that ( as it should ).

Answer 6

I do not think it is the child's decision to accept or decline support since they are not responsible for supporting themselves. As for the other parent having visitation. I think that parent has every right in the world to see his or her child unless it is court ordered not to see that parent.

We do not know why the child does not want to see this parent if there is not abuse then the parent has a right to see this child and try and work out the differences. All children deserve to have two parents involved in their life if it is possible.  

Answer 7

hmmm I do not know much about U.S law but what this really comes down to is whether the child has a "legitimate legal voice".

If that is the case then obviously they can refuse support payment or state that they do not wish their other parent to have visitation rights. But most aren't recognised as having a legitmate voice since they're simply not recognised under law as being capable of making rational decisions

But the final arbiter is obviously the judge who will decide on the facts what the outcome should be. And if the child's statements are seen as legitimate evidence then they may pass an injunction preventing that parent from visiting

edit: yea at that age their wishes will be taken into account by the judge since many states have an age of responsibility at around 13. In my country (NZ) its 16 which is too high I reckon.

In the end though as much as the child can state they have no wish for their parents to visit, it's up to the judge to decide if an injunction is necessary. If there's clear evidence that there could be a risk of harm to the child by allowing visitation then a restraining order could be passed

Answer 8

Child's wishes are irrelevant since he is a minor. He cannot decide whats best for himself. So the decision is up to the custodial parent whether to accept or refuse payments. As for visitation rights, the parent has the right to visit and be persistent within reasonable limits. He can skip some time and then resume visitation as he sees fit. It would take another court decision to stop him from doing that.

Answer 9

A child has no right to impose  stipulations and rules on a parents financial situation.  The support is ordered by the court and is paid to the custodial parent.

If there is no abuse,  the non-custodial parent should continue  visitation and the custodial parent should encourage visitation.  

If the couple were still together, and the 13 year old started ignoring and behaving in a completely disrespectful manner towards one parent, would the other parent sit by and allow this behavior? I don't think they would.

My brother is going through a similar situation with his son.  My nephews mother handled it in a mature manner and let it be known  that his behavior was unacceptable and she would not allow him to be rude or disrespectful towards his father.

My nephew now sees his father every weekend, sometimes less willingly than others, but by the end of the weekend he is always glad he visited.  His mother is doing what is in the best interest of the child by encouraging a good relationship between her son and his father. Sometimes being a good parent means having to put your foot down.

Answer 10

The Child's wishes should be irrelevant. If one parent fit the disciplinarian role and the other was the softee who gave the child what ever they wanted, of coarse the child isn't going to want to have visits from the task master, but it is good for them to have that element of discipline in their life even though they don't want it

Answer 11

A kid that age should have their wishes respected.

They may well be hurting themselves or letting themselves in for a world of pain in the future, but forcing them would probably just 'prove' to them that the non-custodial parent is an awful person.

Most often, these emotional feelings of a young teen pass in time, and they want to re-establish contact, so the non-custodial parent needs to leave the door open ~ if they want to have a relationship with their child.

Often kids feel they have to 'take sides' in a marriage split, even though no-one says they should.

Good communication and honesty early on can help prevent this, and also the custodial parent letting the kid know that their other parent loves them and wants to see them, when they are ready.

It's a hard time for everyone when a relationship breaks down, and parents need to realise the kid/s are hurting too, and that they won't automatically respond like people think they will.

It's a tough one, and needs patience and a lot of love to get through.

In a court situation, here in Australia, kids can make their own decisions totally at 16, so the views of someone that age regarding vistation would be taken into account.

Even if visits were ordered, they could take place in a supervision centre, where a third party is always present. While this sounds awful, it's actually usually helpful, as it prevents a lot of yelling and arguing, and so people have to actually talk to each other or sit in total silence for two or thre hours.

Regarding child support, if it was court ordered, it would be paid through a government agency and no-one could interfere with it unless they went back to court to change it.

Best wishes :-)

Answer 12

I would push for visitation.  Most states do let the child have some say, though unless their was reason to take away the parents complete rights (abuse) I cannot see any state taking away the parents rights.  However at the same time I don't think you can force the child to see the parent if they do not want to.  As a judge I would probably suggest counseling for the family.  Teens don't just not want to see their parents...there is a reason behind it.

Answer 13

1, figure out why, since that's not normal.  If the kid's been abused, we need to know that.   If there's been no abuse, handle it like when they don't want to go to school or hang out with kids who do drink and do drugs, etc.  Be the mother or father and make them do what they should so they won't regret it later.