What would classify a person as a stalker?

Question

i'm in a bit of a situation and i think i may be being stalked by a person... i'd rather not explain why on here, but it'd really help if i could get some kind of list or website to show me what exactly officially makes a person a stalker... ? it isn't a physically violent situation so i don't want to ask the police just yet.

google hasn't been much help, and i don't really know where to start looking in the first place. i've heard there are different types of stalkers... what are they? and what makes them?

please don't tell me i'm over-reacting. if anything, i'm the kind of person to under-react... and this has been enough for a close friend of mine to point the situation out and even suggest calling the police...

thanks

Answer 1

If you think this person is a stalker, then file a restraining order against him, or her.  Don't take any chances.  You will have to go to Court for it to be entered by a Judge.  This is after the person is served.  This requires no money.

Answer 2

Orderly Logic is spot on.  I would highly recommend a book called How to Stop a Stalker written by Mike Proctor, a detective who has specialised in this field.  You will find all your answers within this book.

Please log everything that happens - EVERYTHING, no matter how small because all these small things add up and these constitute harassment.  DO get the police involved and make sure that everything is on record - EVERYTHING.

Good luck.

Answer 3

carry a knife and aim 4 the throat

Answer 4

I can relate...I'm sort of in the same boat.

A few years ago, there was this guy at my former school that I foolishly gave my number to.

I only did this out of pity.  I did NOT want to date him.  I had NO interest in him at all.  I told him this.   I simply wanted to be kind to another person who seemed unhappy.  

Whoops...it backfired on me!

His phone calls became very persistent no matter what I said.  He literally drove me nuts.  Clearly this person had mental problems that I didn't realize until it was too late.

Now three years later, I'm married.  My mother tells me that he still calls despite the fact that I don't live with her anymore.  I'm still a bit unsure of what he might do.

I don't think you're overreacting at all.  You sound terrified.  You need to contact the authorities before it becomes worse.  Stalking is serious stuff.  It might not turn violent, but you should still not take chances with your safety.

Common traits of a stalker:

-Persistent phone calls with intent to harrass and intimidate the victim

-Following, watching, monitoring the victim through a number of methods

-Refusal to leave the victim alone; sometimes escalating the behavior

-Possible threats...either implied or explicit

-Tracking the victim's wherabouts at all times

-In extreme cases, tapping phone lines to further invade the victim's sense of security

Answer 5

If I were you, I would anonymously contact your police department. And ask them what sort of behavior constitutes stalking. If what they tell you jives with what's going on. Tell them what's happening. And where, who, etc. If not, I'd watch my back really closely. Maybe even hire a Private Investigator to figure things out if the Police are of no use. Even if you aren't sure, it's better to be safe than sorry. If it is someone you know, and can prove that they are actually stalking you. I'd file a restraining order on them. Sorry if this is a bit scatter-brained. It's 4:12 A.M. And I'm quite tired. Hope this helps you..

RiversK

Answer 6

--- OK first off, there is no one definition or list you can use to identify a stalker. The reason for this is because there are different types of stalkers and stalking behaviors and because stalking is defined differently in each State that has a law against it.

--- Secondly, CALL THE POLICE NOW! Don't wait, thinking you are not sure. You stated one of your friends has already made comment about this... THERE IS NO "OVER REACTING" WHEN DEALING WITH A POTENTIAL STALKER!!  

--- Stalking behavior progressively becomes more and more controlling and violent. You need to call in some expert assistance. It doesn't matter if its not violent yet, if it is a stalker then the chances are it will get worse with time.

--- LET THE POLICE CHECK HIM/HER OUT AND SEE IF IT REALLY IS STALKING. That is what you are paying them for.

--- Then, if there is no violence yet, they can arrainge a court protection order as well as possibly psychological assistance. That's why you need to let the police in on it. Then the experts can look over the behavior.

======================================...

--- Now, I placed a url/link for some sites in the source box. You should read up in both [a] Stalking: Qs & As and [b] Stalking Behavior - from where these lists below came from.

--- Both sites have good information you can use to decided about you next course of action.--- One thing that keeps coming up in talking about the behavior of stalkers is that it often parallels the general  behavior of domestic abusers and that like domestic abusers it often gets more violent and assertive as time goes along. This is why stalkers are considered so dangerous. [a] & [b]

--- One definition of stalking is :  Stalking is "the willful, malicious and repeated following and harassing of another person." [c]

--- These are a list of signs that you are being stalked, though by no means is this list complete: [c]

---   ARE YOU BEING STALKED?:

1.   Persistent phone calls despite being told not to contact

       in any form.

2.  Waiting at workplace or in neighborhood.

3.  Threats.

4.  Manipulative behavior

        (for example: threatening to commit suicide in order

        to get a response to such an "emergency" in the

        form of contact).

5.  Sending written messages: letters, emails, graffiti, etc.

6.  Sending gifts from the seemingly "romantic"

        (flowers and/or candy),  to the  bizarre

        (dog teeth, a bed pan, a blood soaked feather).

7. Defamation:  The stalker often lies to others about the

        victim (claims of infidelity, for example).

8. "Objectification":  The stalker derogates the victim,

         reducing him/her to an object -- this allows the

         stalker the ability to feel angry with the victim

         without experiencing empathy.

      (See [c] in the sources box below)

======================================...

--- Who are stalkers? Recognizing someone as a stalker is quite impossible.   They do not look like monsters.  Many can initially appear quite charming, while others seem awkward and socially inept

--- Here are the current findings regarding who stalkers are:

---Most are male

---There is an increased likelihood of prior criminal,

         psychiatric, or substance abuse histories.

--- Immigration may play an interactive role -- these

         individuals may be experiencing acculturation

         stress and/or culture shock and suffering a sense

         of loss of one's culture of origin.

---  Stalkers have higher intelligence than other criminals

--- Defense mechanisms play a significant role in the

         form of denial, minimization, devaluation, and

         projection of blame onto the victim

--- Disorders are evidenced suc as substance abuse,

          mood disorders, sexual dysfunction or schizophrenia

--- Axis 2 Disorders are primarily of the following:  

          narcissism, borderline, paranoid, and dependent

          personality -- with antisocial personality

          also possible, but not as common

---Suffering a loss within at least seven years of the stalking

           behavior (i.e., relationship dissolution,

           job termination, or potential loss of a child

           or an ill parent) is very common

             (see [d] in the source box)

======================================...

---OK Thats about all I can think you would need to make up your mind, HOWEVER as I stated before you should call the police now and let them make that determination if there is any doubt at all. It would be better to error on the side of safety here than to let someyhing like stalking go on until its to late.

--- I hope this helped you.

Answer 7

Actually I tried finding web-sites for you, and here is one very useful:

www.stalkinghelp.org

good luck and be careful

Answer 8

Wow I wished you would have posted this question yesterday. The show, "Most Evil" was everything about stalkers. Every question imaginable was answered about them. Try Most Evil.com maybe you can see it.Or maybe even AOL Videos.com they have TV shows you can watch. Byee (I take that back,go to Most Evil TV show in your search box,it will come up then,I checked it out)

Answer 9

Not sure were you live, but it's better to ask your local police for information and stuff... so that way its on record that you have asked about this and etc.  You should carry a fork in your pockets .. or mase, pepper spray etc.  you never know.

Never head out alone... have friends with you as much as possible.

Answer 10

is he a member of The Smashing Pumpkins?

there's a fair chance he is a psychotic stalking lunatic if he's a member of the band...

think about it, who would believe someone that's accusing a pop star of stalking them?

its the way to go about it (if that's what you wanted to do..).