What would make a person act like this?

Question

If your natural mother said your adopted mother said that she thinks you are going with your adopted father, what you tell her? My adopted mother and adoptive father are deceased - over 20 years. My natural mother has married the same guy twice and has never told him about me and I am 40. She has not told her stepdaughter nor her sons (who are 50 and 51). She said she's not obligated to meet me. Could it be a blessing in disquise?

Could she had been jealous of my adoptive family? Could she had been retaliating because she was reading my letter of confrontation about her being selfish?

Give me some good pointers on how to solve this nightmare?

Answer 1

You can't force her to be a good mother to you.  It sounds like she wants to forget she had you, for some reason.  I'm not trying to be cruel, but she doesn't sound very stable.

If you wrote a combative letter (justified or not), that surely put her on the defensive.  Live and learn.  You don't know the circumstances of your adoption.  It sounds like she did the right thing for you.

It's sad that she is missing out on a relationship with you.  If you're up for it, you can get in contact with your siblings and father.  Just be strong - you never know how it will go. Don't go in with accusations, try to have an open mind and heart.

I don't understand the comment in your first line, however.  Good luck to you.