What would u do if u were in a emotionally abusive relationship?

Question

Ive been with my bf for about 3 months and i really care for him but he doesnt seem to care for me even tho he says he loves me. His words are harsh, he insults me constantly, treats me and often refers to me (in front of ppl) as his slave. its clear he doesnt respect me. I know that this isnt normal or okay but that doesnt stop me from loving him. what should i do?

Answer 1

He's treating you this way after only three months of dating? Why do you love him? Is it because he's attractive and the s*x is great? Is it because 'he's just so sweet when we're alone'? I don't see where there's anything redeeming about him in your question.

You know you need to get out. You know that your head needs to rule your heart in this case. I'm not saying it's going to be easy to turn your feelings off, but you need to stop all contact with this guy and get him out of your life.  

Answer 2

3 months? ..gees,

LEAVE, its really a no brainer.

3 months isnt even enough time to truly know someone ...never mind anything else............certainly not love.

you must be very young if you dont know this answer.

they guys a jerk, plain and simple.

Answer 3

Girl, u need to dump that A$$ hole and get yourself someone better, no woman should have to put up with no type of abuse whether it be verbally, physically, emotionally, mentally, none whatsoever, so dump that jerk, and get another man that will treat you right girl!

Answer 4

personally, i'd kick his a** in front of everyone.  what a dolt he is.  

you should think more of yourself and move on from this guy.

Answer 5

never been there, but i do have a strong back bone. i would leave immediately and find someone that is not like that. there are lots of great guys out there. i married one! don't get yourself feeling stuck!

Answer 6

I would move on and move up. I wouldn't put up with this, not knowing there's better (And there is).

Answer 7

3 months?  Run like h**l!  Can you even imagine how bad it would be after 3 years.

Answer 8

Dump him as fast as you can and then go get your head examined to find out why you would tolerate such degrading treatment. At least you realize that he doesn't love you. Because when someone truly loves you they treat you with kindness and respect.

Best wishes and don't settle for less next time.

Answer 9

You honestly need to end the relationship. Verbal abuse usually turns into physical abuse. I know alot about it, i know that it doesnt ever change. I know you love him usually woman of abuse do love there spouse and its hard to explain the reason why. I do know that even if you will be a little down because you left him you will be better off hun. Trust me leave now before it gets worse. Your a human being and human beings deserve to be treated with respect, dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

Answer 10

It's quite clear.  Your answer is in your question.  "Emotional Abusive" those are like terrifying words to me now.  I've been trying to work on mine since back in the day.  If he is showing you that side of him now, wait until your married.  He has his issues but you have yours... You need to get help, I know im getting help....I need it and I dont want matters to become anyworse than they are now!!!

Answer 11

  It sounds to me like your boyfriend has some issues he has to work on. First off,if he even liked you,he wouldn`t treat you like that. It does not matter how much you love him.You`ll never make him love you. When a man loves a woman,he does not want to hurt her in any way.He talks nice to her,treats her like a real person with feelings.He puts her above everything else in his life.You can`t make him love you and he won`t learn to love you either. It hurts to leave somebody you love,but it hurts worse when they embarrass you,hurt your feelings,and throw your love out the window. Love is only a good thing when it comes back to you. There are a lot of good men out there who will cherish the love you have to give.So please don`t waste it on someone who only takes and does not give back.Life is too short and you are wasting your life away everyday you stay with him. There is a man out there waiting for your love who will treat you right.

Answer 12

Curse your mother out for not making you a better woman.

Answer 13

Are you really going to take the advise given to you or you're just going to be a dumb *** and stay with this guy? If you are, then why waste time getting advise? If you have only been with this guy for only 3 mos. and he's treating you like c**p, please get out now. Usually, guys start acting like jerks later in the relationship but, he's doing it right off the bat. Girl, get a clue! Dump this loser and find someone that is going to treat you right.

Answer 14

I think you should get out now. 3 months lost is way better than 3 years or longer. The fact that he is treating you poorly already and calling you his slave is a strong indication of whats to come.  It could and probably will only get worse as the relationship progresses.  I was with someone for a long time who was abusive in every way except physically.  I think it is hard to leave but once you are alone for awhile you will realize that you made the right choice. And my only regret is that I was with the man for soooo long.

Answer 15

leave him. if he loved you the way he says he does, he would respect you and not treat you like garbage  

Answer 16

First of all, find out WHY you think you love a man that treats you this way.

Secondly- you NEED to move on from this loser- the abuse WILL GET WORSE.

Answer 17

I would end the relationship immediately. There are a lot of fish in the ocean and you deserve much better.

Answer 18

why would u allow him to disrespect u, u need to stand up for yourself, because if u don't no one else will either.he will continue to treat u like this as long as u say nothing.u need to confront him, tell him its unacceptable and tell him if it continues he can look for a new girl, because your tired of it.

Answer 19

i would dump him. he doesn't deserve ur love if he's gonna take it and abuse it like that.

Answer 20

I divorced him.

Leave him before your feelings get even stronger, it'll only get harder to leave him.  

Answer 21

BRAKE UP WITH HIM!!!!!!!!! PLEASE you have to do this. i no you say you love him but what he's doing to you is not love, as a black woman you should be highly offended, you shouldn't take this from him, i can almost guarantee you that if this doesn't end now it will get worse, this will escalate into him physically abusing you. someone who loves you would never hurt you that way. i hope this man is black, and even if he is that's no excuse. please break up with him their are plenty of men out their who will respect you and treat you like a lady not a dog who's supposed to fallow his every command. don't you have any brothers, if so they should go and defend your honor. tell them to go beat that mans butt.

Answer 22

walk away

Answer 23

you need to talk to him seriously about his verbally abusive behaviour,he is being a punk by disrespecting u like that, he needs to start loving you the way you deserves to be loved, and u need to have that conversation w/him.Talk to him about it, tell him if he don't stop u will leave him!

Answer 24

Arrange it to where he never sees or hears from you again. Side blind him, he won't know what hit him.  

Answer 25

Well, 3 months is still a very short time for you to be able to leave him, which you should and most people here will suggest that. It is ridiculous to be with someone who`s not treating you right for at least the first 3 months! And as much as you feel love form him, love matures over time and because 3 months is such a short time, you can still move on without him and I`m sure you`ll be just fine.

If he`s treating you bad, you won`t miss that. I hope not.

I believe your mind is telling you to leave and you`re heart to stay...but for what?

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be treated right. You deserve to be with a man that loves you and treats you like a princess! You need to leave this guy, and find someone who will be worth it.

If he`s not being good for you, just imagine what it would be like living with him forever, married...with children? Just the thought gives me the creeps...think about it. Not onlt you need someone better, you deserve it.

Answer 26

You can love him all you want but why stay with him ? My ex husband was mentally , emotionally , verbally and physically abusive along with other things . I loved him ( and thought he loved me ) but I just couldn't tolerate the abuse any longer . I went through it for 5 years and that was 5 years too long .

After I left I realized there was no way possible that he could have loved me . How you can any one say they love you and then hurt you ?

If you love some one you don't hurt them .

I see no reason why you would even what to stay with some one that is going to treat you like this .

If I were you I'd leave and find some one that truly loves you and will show you the respect that you deserve .

Good luck .

Answer 27

You need to get away from him.  It will only get worse.