What would you answer to my husband after this question?

Question

I am 8 weeks pregnant and today he told me I should choose in between my unborn baby and my dog. This dog is the only company I have as my family lives too far away from me and his family is a bunch of people full of bad intentions (I even think the idea of the dog leaving come from some of their ugly minds) My other children love the dog dearly, they even got sad when they heard that notice.

Answer 1

That's easy keep the dog and the baby get rid of the hubby!!!

Answer 2

get rid of him, keep the dog.

that dog is as much part of the family as anyone,

tell him no ! and get to work at good communication with him.

hes being very unfair.  

Answer 3

Are you serious about that? That sounds like a callous choice from a soon-to-be-father.

I don't know. I hope you'll get more helpful answer from others because if you ask me, I'll choose my baby and the dog over him.

Good luck dear.

Answer 4

My answer to your husband is easy - goodbye.

My question to you is - why would you allow another person to think they have any say in what happens to your unborn child?  All I can think is him threatening to get rid of the dog if you don't have an abortion.  The fact that your husband would make such a threat and you would take it seriously enough to be asking advise about it makes me wonder about the safety of your other children.  What kind of father tells his childs mother to choose between his child and a dog?  What are you doing with this man?

Answer 5

Why on earth would he feel he had any right to make that ultimatum? Why would it be a choice between a baby's life and a much loved family pet? What warped piece of reasoning does he use to justify it?

If he were my husband, I would ask why he thinks he has any right to give me any ultimatums at all - this is a marriage and not a dictatorship. That I am an adult too, and well able to make decisions about what is best for me, our children and our home too. That, as an equal partner in this marriage, I will listen to, and consider his point of view, but will not accept that he alone makes the all the decisions, especially when its about our baby.  

Answer 6

"How about I keep the kids AND the dog and get rid of YOU?"

Answer 7

Why is he making you chose?

If the dog is dangerous, then yes it might be something to consider. If the dog as ever bitten one of your older kids, imagine the bog biting someone as defencless as an infant. So in that case, I can completely agree with what your husband is saying, your child is much more important than the dog. Although giving you an ultimadum was definately a bad way of approaching the subject

You spoke about YOUR other children, which makes me think they are not his children. In which case, this child you are carrying might possibly be his first, or maybe at least the first one he has had around a dog. So this might be new territory for him. Maybe he is scared or thinks your shouldnt have dogs when you are pregnant? Maybe he is getting dogs and cats mixed up (as cats faeces can be deadly to the unborn child). Maybe he is afraid something will happen to you? Maybe he thinks it is dangerous to have a big dog around an infant?

He might be thinking financially and wondering how to cope with a dog, your existing children, the mortgage, the bills, plus a new baby on the way. Maybe he is overwhelmed financially and is looking for an easy fix option

I guess what I am saying is, without knowing WHY he is asking you to choose, I can't judge him or tell you what to say.

I dont agree with what he said, I am an animal lover and would be mortified if someone suggested this to me! An ultimadum probably wasn't the smartest thing for him to say...

However if he truly believes it might be dangerous to your pregnancy with the dog around, then yelling back at him or telling him to get out of the house isnt going to make things better. You might have to do some convincing, and start to research about the benefits of dogs around babies, I dont know. If he is worried about finances, then you might have to sit down and do a budget together.

So I guess your course of action depends on why he said what he said. If he is just scared for your pregnancy and is thinking of you, then telling him to leave like others have suggested probably isnt the best idea. You need to talk to him and find out what his concerns are, and why he believes you need to get rid of the dog.

If however, he is just being a jackass, then yes I agree, show him the door. But without knowing you or your family, or the situation, or what his actual concerns are, it is very hard to tell you what your answer should be.

I doubt he meant to suggest you get an abortion - hopefully he just said it the wrong way. Only you know him and what he meant by it.

Answer 8

"How about I don't choose between either, and we keep both?"

Answer 9

tell him that you will keep the dog and your precious baby then kick his butt to the curb

Answer 10

I would tell him to watch out or I'll chose the kids and the dog over HIM! I would simply tell him NO.

Answer 11

No offense, but what kind of man or husband makes you choose between an unborn baby's life and the life of an animal? He needs help

Answer 12

  If your other children are not his, then I would take them and move back to where my family is (with the dog) and have the baby there so that he couldn't force you to stay in the same area as himself.  That is not a normal thing to say.  Did he think he was making a joke.  If so, it was just plain stupid.  He is a freak if he was serious and it sounds like he was because you seem to be taking it seriously.  

  Another poster was asking if the dog ever bit the other children.  I could see if he felt the dog was dangerous maybe talking about finding it another home, but not you getting an abortion.  That's wierd.  I would want my husband to sign over his rights if he talked about me getting an abortion.

Answer 13

Tell him that he can choose between you, the dog and the kids as one big package - and a big fat divorce. Ask him which one he wants.

  Then listen to his answer. If he says, 'I'll take the divorce', give him one.

   His demand was cruel and unfeeling and if you let him get away with that c**p, there's a lot more that he will ask that will be just as cruel and unfeeling - don't be fooled when he tries to hide behind lots of affection after he makes you get rid of the dog.

Answer 14

Don't get rid of your unborn baby!

Answer 15

You tell him he is a heartless jerk for saying such a thing.

Answer 16

Not sure why he told you it was the dog or the baby but maybe financially you can't afford it or emotionally he feels overwhelmed w/the kids and the dog.  

Answer 17

i feel him dogs cost money just like babies do, you should choose your unborn child(as if that should be a choice), its a blessing to have children, you can always buy another dog

Answer 18

The only one who should be leaving is your husband ... and make sure his family stays away too. I've never heard of such a nasty comment. You need to lose this one fast. If he was joking this is sick, not funny. If he was serious, he sounds mentally unbalanced or even dangerous. It's time to say goodbye!

Answer 19

I guess I really have no need to give the same answer everyone else has but I just want to say that I agree that you shouldn't be made to choose. AND considering your only 8 weeks along, why would he jeapordize your pregnancy with all that crazy stress? Good luck and I hope you choose wisely....

Answer 20

the dog and the new baby stay but you can leave anytime you like

Answer 21

tell him to make the choice first. let him know that you choose your children and that the dog is inclusive in choosing them since they love him.  

Answer 22

I'd want to know the reason for the ultimatum, and how he could be such a jackazz to suggest he wouldn't care if you aborted the fetus (you conceived with him, I presume) if you chose to keep the dog.

Are you sure he's mentally stable?

Answer 23

sounds like your husband is one sick sob how about keep the dog and baby and get rid of the husband