What would you be willing to sacrifice, in order to provide to provide for your baby?

Question

I guess I'm just looking for a little support here, and personal stories or experiences...

I'm a SAHM. We are just getting by on my fiance's income, but once his health insurance starts coming out of his check, we will need another income. We share a car, so if I were to go back to work, I would have to take baby to daycare on the bus very early in the morning, and somehow find a way to get my oldest to school. We have some brutal winters here, so it's not exactly an ideal situation.

However, I do have an antique piece of jewelry that is worth a pretty penny. It's a family heirloom, passed down to me by my grandmother. Her and I were never close; in fact, she was an alcoholic and abusive to my mother, and I rather resent her for it.

If I sell the jewelry, it will buy me a car, and enough money to put away so that I can stay home with my baby a bit longer. Ideally, I would like to stay home with him until he turns one year old. He still nurses frequently, and I can't stand the thought of putting him in a place with no boobies for six to eight hours a day.

It pains me to have to sell such a valuable item, but my family is more important. I do worry that I might kick myself down the road, and regret my decision, but I don't know what else to do.

Anything you have to say on the subject would be appreciated. If you have made a sacrifice for your family, please share.

Answer 1

I would sell it. Time home with your baby is precious time you will never be able to get back. I gave up a very good career to stay at home with my baby and I have never looked back. These days are precious.

Answer 2

I would sell it.  Don't look back and have regrets, you definitely need to do this to better your family right now.  It's not like you're going on a trip to vegas or buying an entertainment system.

My husband and I are always always always broke.  We like in a 800-sq foot home that we outgrew years ago.  When our son was born we dropped the gym membership, eating out, collecting toys, and cable.  We are barely making it by....thank goodness for this thing we call "Eli" that keeps us smiling everyday.  :)

Answer 3

hmmm....that's a tough one! i wouldn't sell the heirloom, only because of how your mom would feel about it. Maybe ask her first? If she doesn't' care then go for it.  Have you gotten it appraised? I'm only asking because sometimes heirlooms are worse less than we assume.  

I would try to find some other way to bring in some cash. If you've explored all other avenues, then, i guess sell the heirloom.  you have to do what you have to do, right? life's not easy and neither are our choices....

Answer 4

Sell it.  You said yourself it has not sentimental value.  It's only value is that it is worth some money, which you need--now.  It's doing nothing for you just sitting around your house.  Think of it this way-- what makes you happier, spending time with your kids or spending time with the jewelry?

Answer 5

In answer to the posted question::

anything and everything.  :)

In answer to the heirloom-

I understand how its a family thing and you dont want to sell it because of that, but in my opinion... I would think of it as:  This heirloom, to me, means as much to me as the person who owned it, and if that person was your grandmother, who was abusive to your mom, I would definitely sell it.

In my mind- it would be a way to say : Hey, you werent worth much to me, and neither is this d**n heirloom.

:)

I dont know- maybe Im looking at this the wrong way.. but I would definitely sell it. Especially because, you spending the first year with your baby at home, is more important to you than any object, right?

Hope I helped.  :)

And if you sell it- down the road, just remember your grandmother, the way she was, and what selling it did for your family.

Answer 6

I wouldn't hesitate, sell the jewelry.  Particularly since you were not close and she wasn't exactly a wonderful person.  

Remember, it's just an object, a material good, merely a thing.  But by selling that thing you are doing something more valuable that you can't put a price on and that's staying home with your kids and / or making life easier for you and your kids (with the car).

Answer 7

i would do it in a heart beat!

have you thought about watching another child or two out of your home? we lived of just my hubby's income but when we had our son we needed a little extra. i watch two kids out of my house and they are great. now that my son is starting to crawl around they are all beginning to interact. i like it because i don't have to leave my baby and he's learning how to share really early (he's 6 months).

there are several sites you can look at that i know of craigslist.com sittercity.com and nannies4hire.com. best of luck! i hope this helps!!!

oh yea and even though you and you g-ma weren't close i know how heavy the word hierloom is. i mean when i comes down to it i'd get rid of mine in a heartbeat if necessary but i had another option and it brings in about $800 extra a month and there isn't a limit on what caring for someone elses baby will bring you. my parents have gotten me gift certificates for my family to go out to dinner on top of what they pay me to thank me for what i do. and hey, who doesn't like free dinner???

Answer 8

If it's tucked away, there is no value in it.  Something that is loved is worn or displayed every day.  Sell it, so that you may have something that you do value- your family.  If your mother really valued the jewelry, she'd have asked to have it or wear it a long time ago. I'd sell everything I could if I were in the same situation.  Good luck

Answer 9

sorry you are having to make that kind of decision, it's tough but you know what's right for your family. You do what you have to so they can have a good life. I'm sorry what you had to go through with your mom, don't you be that way. So far you are doing more for your kids, than your mom did for you. I applaud you for that!

My sacrifices were to give my cat away, my SO's had to sell his fish tanks that he loved. We had to get rid of one car and share. I take the bus to work, but have to walk a mile to the bus. I eat Top Roman for lunch so I have enough money to get formula and diapers.

It is tough, but it makes you a stronger person

Answer 10

Girl, you shouldn't even have't to ask that question. that piece of jewelry would have done been gone. As far as jobs, look online for a @home job you can do on your computer. Or if you do have to go back to work..do a part time job in the pm..hire a college student to come to your house and watch both children. That way when your oldest gets out of school..by the time he/she gets there, the babysitter will be there waiting on that one..And then your fiance' can take over once he gets home from work..then when you get home..you can kiss the kids goodnight, and relax long enough to get back up the next day,  and do it all over again.Or you can watch a few kids yourself to make extra cash.

Answer 11

I would no doubt sell the piece of jewelry.  

Answer 12

There is NOTHING more important than time spent with loved ones.  Do you really think you will look at your son in a few years and say, "Those were nice times we had, but jeez, I wish I had that boubon-soaked broach right about now?"

Yeah, I didn't think so.

I have to admit, I have it pretty easy.  My husband has a great job now and we don't have to worry about finances that much-well we probably should worry a lot more, but who has the time to worry?  But, I don't think there is any

"thing" I wouldn't sacrifice.

EDIT: Don't you hate how you can go through your whole life and still want your parents to approve of you?  This is where you have to put your family ahead of youself.  She probably will never know you sold it, but she does find out, can you really feel guilty about WHY you did it?

Answer 13

Even though i aint a father yet, ill most likely sell myself to women to support my kid if it came down to it..

Answer 14

my self i would sacrifice what ever it took to make sure my family was taken care of.

so yes i would sell the heirloom in a heartbeat . it's a material thing that can cant give you the love and satifaction that your family does. sell it, get a car , and take your time to find a job . good luck to you and your family .  

Answer 15

I would not sacrifice anything for a child, and that is why I have chosen to not have any kids. Thankfully, my fiance already has kids, so this decision is fine with him. I am too selfish to have children.  

Answer 16

I would sacrifice anything for my baby. The fact that it is from a relative who holds such bad memories for you just shows (for me) that you should sell it. We remortgaged our house so i could stay home for 6 extra months with my first child. It left us almost financially destitute, and ruined both our credit in the process but i would do it all over to make sure i had that extra time with my little girl.

I would do whatever i could for my children.

Answer 17

I empathize with you on the resentment because of abuse. I think that for you, selling the jewlery will be the ideal situation, for all the reasons you listed on wanting to stay home with your baby. I'm a SAHM too.

If you're worried about regret, sell it to a pawnshop, (if the amount you'll get will be the same as selling it elsewhere) where you might have a chance tp buy it back, if the opportunity arises. `

Answer 18

I'd sell it.  You said it yourself - Your family is worth more.  Do you even wear the heirloom or is it tucked away somewhere?  

Nah, I'd sell it.  Get yourself a car and take your time finding a good job.  

Just my opinion.  :)

Answer 19

You werent close with your grama, chances are youre going to get more satisfaction out of selling it and providing for your family them hanging  onto it and letting it collect dust.I would sell it if it meant getting to stay home with the baby for longer, especially since he is still breastfeeding like he is. :0)

Answer 20

Ok, Here's are some other things I think might work.  Your fiance could take the bus and leave the car with you.  Or you could work the opposite schedule as your fiance,  if he works days you work nights  or vice versa.  If it were up to me and I had to make your decision.  I would sell the jewlery.  It's probably just sitting there all the time anyway and what's the point in that.  If you could sell it a get by, I would do what's best for your family.

Answer 21

I would sell it. There isn't a thing in this world that would stop me from supporting my babies and family. It is a hard decision, but in the end, your kids are more important that any piece of jewlery.  

Answer 22

I to am a SAHM.  For the past few months I have been debating whether or not to go back to work.  And after long consideration I have decided not to because in the end it wouldn't bring in any more than a $200 extra a month.  And in my eyes that isn't worth having a stranger watch my youngest.  

Before you make your decision to go back to work you have to weigh all the pros and cons.

Cost of Daycare

Cost of Fuel for a new car

Cost of upkeep and payments(?) for a new car

Cost of transportation for your oldest to school

Add up the costs, always make the costs a little higher than average, just to be safe and make sure that you going back to work isn't just going to pay for all the added costs of you going to work.  And if there will be some left over, then decide with your fianace if it is worth loosing time with your children.

It's a very hard decision, especially when money is tight and you are just barely making it or not making it all the way.  

There are some things you can try doing to make a little extra money from home, that won't really cost you much.  A couple examples

Babysitting

Online Store - (selling stuff your family doesn't use or need)

You can also go over your budget with your fiance and cut back somewhere.  It could be buying store brand groceries instead of name brand.  Have your fianace check into a carpool at work, to save on gas.  Keep your electricity down by turning down the air, leaving lights off, unless absolutley necessary, etc.  When going to the grocery store make a list before you leave, so you don't buy any extras.  downgrade your cable programs and phone plan.

I know it's hard, I've been there more than a handful of times, but have always made it through by cutting back.  

I really hope I've helped some and hopefully given you some ideas on what to do.  Good Luck to you and your family, just hang in there, you'll get through it..

As for the heirloom - sell it, don't buy the second car and use it to be able to stay home with your kids.  The extra money will give you a little leave way to find a way to make a little more money by staying home.

Answer 23

The item probably would have meant more if she was a close relative. I would say if you are even thinking about it, I would do it. The memory of staying with your baby would be a lot more valuable in time.

Answer 24

i would sell the jewelry in a heartbeat.  it's just a thing.  you can't put a price on your relationship with your kids.

nobody ever looks back on their life and says "i wish i had had more things and spent less time with my kids."

Answer 25

I sacrifice alot to stay at home with my girl.  New clothes, holidays, I have a car but I don't drive much to save on gas, I sacrifice my independence, and my own money.  I do this to stay at home.  If you want to you will find a way.  Babysit other children instead of selling that piece, you don't really have to.  What until you are starving to do that.  Go without a car, you don't need it if you are not working, it is hard to get by sometimes, but you can do it.  I don't think you should sell the piece.

Answer 26

I would give my very life to provide for my baby girl. Get rid of that material item and use the money to get what you need to make your life better for you and your family. At last, your Grandma can inadvertently be useful. Good luck to your and your family !! xoxo

Answer 27

oh my gosh, SELL IT! i don't want to downplay the difficulty of choosing to sell it, but, especially since there is no real sentimental value (given what an **** your gma was), i mean, this is exactly the reason why we hold onto valuable things "until we need them." you need it now. the image of you dealing with the bus and school and all that: ugh. this will change your life in many more ways than the obvious ones. think of the shift in your state of mind after dealing with all these transportation issues on a freezing cold day! i would have done this and more to maintain my status as a SAHM -- and i wasn't breastfeeding OR parenting a second/older child. i would have sold anything i own. nothing is more valuable to me than giving ruby this time in the most secure, stree-free, happy way possible. i am fortunate that all i've had to give up are the "little" things -- but that could change any day, and i always think about that. i really do NOT see you kicking yourself down the road. on the contrary, from what i know of you, i think you will kick yourself down the road if you don't sell it to maintain what you've set up for his infancy. you can always make money later. you can not recreate his earliest years for him, for his brother, or for yourself. do it! sell it!!!!!!

Answer 28

You said it yourself...you weren't close and she was an Abusive Alcoholic..so No love loss there...I would sell ANYTHING I had to, to feed my kids ... SELL IT!

Answer 29

If the heirloom with get you some money, and you don't really care about it, I would say sell it. If you don't want to go back to work you could look into keeping other people's kids in your home during the day. That's what I do. I watch a 16 month old little girl a few days a week and I make our grocery money.

Answer 30

Is you fiance abe to take care of the baby if you were to get a part-time job at night?? My fiance and I have 2 kids under 3 and he works a full time job during the day. I work part-time at night 4 days a week. That way I am home with the kids during the day and he is with them at night while I am at work. We don't have to pay a daycare or sitter and I don't have to worry about leaving my kids with strangers. I don't know if this would work for you, but it works out great for us. Just a suggestion :)