What would you do, if this is happening to you?

Question

What would you do if you're partner has depression and you tried everything with her, medication, meditation, nutrition's, going on, joking, leaving her alone ... everything.

Please keep in mind that depressed people hurt others. She accuse me of things that are not true, by accusing how I'm thinking, what I would do, blaming me for any bad thing that happened, take the parts from conversation that if she ads up can make the story a disaster and me a devil. Then later when she gets better maybe after a month continuous of this, she would come and say sorry and she doesn't know what she was saying or how she thought like this and admits that something is wrong with her for a few days and then we start again with depression.

She's my wife and we have 2 kids. What to do???

Answer 1

Depression,as you described here,needs long treatment.The change happens slowly,but it does work.You hav to be patient and believe in the doctor and his medicines.I guess,you and your partner opted out of medication,much before the medicines started showing effect.Patient and his/her family bcome frustrated and pull out soon.Tht happens in so many cases and situation goes from bad to worse.

So,find your wife a very good doctor who's an expert in treating depression and with his help,make your wife a normal person again.It may take time,but things will slowly start working out in your favour.Believe in yourself and your love for your partner.Good Luck !

Answer 2

wait till she is on a good cycle then let her know how much it is hurting you to see her like this and that it effects the children as well. get her to see a doctor who specialises in mental disorders. Did this start after the children? some forms of postnatal depression can run on for years of not looked after properly. just ensure you get her at the right time as while she is on a low you will just look like the bad guy again. Remember above anything that your children need a happy healthy mum. I commend you for trying to find her help and not giving up as many do

Answer 3

She needs psychiatric help, probably meds.

Answer 4

I think I can understand where she is coming from even though I am not married and have no kids, but she should try anti-depressants, if you can't get a perscription from a doctor try St. John's Wort, she also might be bottling up her feelings you could ask to see a social worker, or you could try to gain her trust by sharing some of your secrets with her, then she might confide in you more. Sometime people just need a release, it could be music, art, writing something like that.

Sorry I couldn't be more help.

Answer 5

I used to be like her. My boyfriend finally convinced me that he was hurting as much as I was and that I was making him feel helpless. I went to the doct. got on meds and within a couple weeks I was suprised at how much better I felt. Since then I am like a different person. I really think she has somthing mental going on like an imbalance. Try to get her to a doct.

Answer 6

when did this problem start? has it always been a problem or has it just started recently. I think theres something underlying in the relationship that she is maybe subconciously not happy with. Maybe she thinks your cheating or something. Im not sure.

Maybe she just needs a reality check. Instead of just putting up with it, get angry and accuse back. This might sort of mentally shake her out of her little cocoon of misery. I'm no expert and I respect you greatly for putting up with it. It must be very hard.

I am guessing shes seeing proffessional help aka Councellors?

How does she act towards the kids? (iif shes totally normal towards them then it suggests that there is something underlying thats wrong with your relationship with her)

Answer 7

Have u taken her to the drs.? sounds like she needs professional help.Good Luck

Answer 8

I know it might be hurtful, but she's your wife, so hang in there. Try really talking to her when she apologizes; when she's in her 'depressive state', she will be very reluctant. Make sure she knows that you're hurt and that this is affecting your marriage. Let her know that you still care for her and only want to do what's best for her, but that she needs to open up to you to find out what it is that you need. Make sure she realizes that you are not placing any blame on her, but that this is just to get her to realize that there are people out there who do care for her. You mentioned that you had kids; how are they dealing with this? Talk to her about this too; how is this affecting your kids?

If that doesn't work, I would suggest finding professional help. But before you do, make sure she understands that it is because you want her to be better, not because you think she's crazy and/or depressed.

Good luck.

Answer 9

Hey this exact thing happened to me about 6 months ago. I came home from the Army and I was all messed up. My wife insisted that I was depressed but I told her I wasn't. I did everything your wife is doing, I understand that she doesn't realize that she is hurting you or who ever. There are many things you can do, My wife told me to go get help or she is leaving, I got help, but it only lasted a little while do me not going threw with it. A problem like this can wreck a marriage, but as long as you don't let it. My wife gave up on me, don't give up on her. That's the point of a marriage, right?.. Being there for that person is the best thing you can do help her. If at all possible ask her how she is feeling, do little things for her, like the dishes, or breakfast in bed, something like this is going to take time. Just remember and remind her what you two have together. Good luck bro, it's hard I know.

Answer 10

I am sorry for you and your wife and your kids.

Answer 11

Sometimes the only healer is time.

In those instances, all other "cures" actually work to make the condition worse.

I suggest you try nothing but show a little care and respect - and considering the way you've been behaving, she's received very little respect from you for a long time.