What would you do , if your mate , couldnt work if he had too? advice please?

Question

ok me and my hubby have been married 4 yrs , and we have 1 yr old twins, at which i stay at home , but am starting overnight work next week , hubby is a car salesman , sort of , i mean he has trouble staying consistent at work , he works 2-4 weeks and quits , cause he says he isnt making enough , and so i offer him up an office job , maybe not alot of money b ut at least its something conistent , with kids i tell him he has no choice but to grow up now and his mom wont help him for long , and its going to be so hard for me to work all night and be up with the twins during the day , but im doing it becuase i HAVE TOO , what should i do to get him to do what he has too ? he has this attitude that hes better than everything and i think a college degree doesnt prove that , as he doesn't stick with anything long enough to make anything work? please serious advice only ,how can i help him feel better to take a menial job (in his view by pay)to at least have something coming in for now?

Answer 1

Move out, take the kids, tell him you will be back when he has a means of supporting a family.

My wife supported our family on her income alone for nearly 5 years. I supported her through her PharmD and it was my turn,, we have 3 kids...and I concentrated on my writing..now she is a pharmacist and I make a lot more money than her. I work from home and I am still the Mr. Mom.

Sounds like you don't have a partnership. so take my advice in the first sentence

Answer 2

1. You don't control him;

2. He may have a plan but not be telling you because you will just dump on it because it won't get cash in your hand RIGHT NOW.

3. Did you marry him to be your meal ticket?

4. Can you live on less? Get Ellie Kay's book 1/2 Price Living and start saving money rather than needing more more more all the time.

5. What is it he has to do? Support you? You can support him for a while until he figures out what he wants to do -- what his purpose is in life.

6. You want to make him feel better? Get him the latest edition of "What Color is Your Parachute?" and he can define his purpose in life. If you are of a Christian mindset you can also get Rick Warren's "40 days of Purpose."  Then you won't be "making him feel better" about taking a menial job but the power will be with him to find his life's purpose rather than a "menial" job out of desperation just to please you.

7. If you don't love him unconditionally, no matter what job he has, then do him a big favor and divorce him.

Answer 3

Honestly speaking, he NEEDS to grow up and stop thinking he's better than anyone just because he has a college degree. How many people in this country would like to have the opportunity of being employed in "whatever" they can get their hands on? He's doing this because he knows you accept it. Yes, I can understand you DON'T like it, but that's not the point...you are "supporting" his behavior and making him more irresponsible. You need to REALLY be firm...don't baby him. You have to think of your twins and yourself. He's just living a too "laid back" kind of life...and that's not gonna get you anywhere.

Answer 4

Even if he won't buck up, you still have to do what you have to do. I can't believe any real man would sit on his a$$ and watch the mother of his children work herself into exhaustion. And if this guy WOULD do that, then you need to find a better life partner. Menial schmenial. Money is money, makes not a l**k of difference if it comes from flipping burgers or sitting behind a desk. Still puts food on the table and pays rent when it's due. He needs to grow up. And if he refuses, you need to seriously rethink your marriage.  

Answer 5

Well he needs to get any job no matter what the pay is...This would worry me, if he wasn't able to keep a job and take care of life stuff i couldn't be with him.  I have worked most of my life and it feels good to be able to take care of myself.  Sorry girlie but you need to kick him in the bum or he will never get anywhere in life.  He has a family, he needs to work or send him back to mom.