What would you do? A 3 part question about babysitting..?

Question

I babysit 2 kids, one of which is 16mo. The mother is 21 & a waitress & works nights & weekends. When I first took the baby, she asked if I could OCCASSIONALLY watch the baby for free on her day off for a COUPLE of hours so she could have some time off from him. I told her that would be okay, but only occassionally because I watch another baby in the early morning. The first month I had him I watched him almost 7 days a week & her couple of hours was turning into 7-8 hours & she never offered to pay for over the 2 hours. He's even started calling me Mommy he spends so much time with me. She would even bring him over without calling & at times knowing I had plans with family from out of state. The last time she did it, about 2 weeks ago, she asked me to watch him while she worked her day off. The baby got sick while she was gone, vomitting & fever, so I called her job to let her know he was sick and they said she wasn't working it was her off day. I confronted her when she came to pick him up, 9 hours later, & she said they must of made a mistake she was at work but there was another girl with her name at work. (Like they wouldn't have put either girl on the phone knowing someone's child was sick & at daycare) Anyway, I told her I wouldn't watch him anymore on her days off. She works till about 11pm (when the restaurant closes) and I have a baby come in at 6:30am, which I made her aware of. Last night she picked him up at 1:30am with no explanation or phone call.

As a tithe to God to help single mothers, I already charge only $55/week which is less than half the going rate for Mon-Fri caregivers, weekends & nights are even higher.

Well today she came at 5pm to drop him off (her usual time) & said she was sick & going to the emergency room for vomitting. Funny she was able to be out until 1:30am & then got sick the next morning. I'm thinking she was hung over. Anyway, when she comes to pick him up 5 hours later, she supposedly has a kidney infection and an upper respiratory infection and was running 104 fever. I took some nursing classes & am pretty sure the respiratory tract nor the urinary tract have anything to do with vomiting. And of course she didn't pay me for watching him, I guess thinking I should work for free because she is supposedly sick.

My questions are:

Would you tell her not to bring him back because she is just simply taking advantage of a you trying to be nice?

And would you give her any notice?

And finally does anyone think her "sickness" tonight was legitimate and whether it was or not, would you have asked for payment for the 5 hours?

I'm a pretty timid person & give people the benefit of the doubt and the little boy is just precious & I would hate to see him go but enough is enough. The babysitting money is just spending money for my family. My husband makes enough to pay the bills.

Answer 1

I would definitely tell her that she is not welcome to bring him back unless she is willing to start paying you what was previously agreed on. If I had family plans and she tried to drop him off I would simply explain that you aren't being mean or heartless you just have plans. As for notice I would give her at least two weeks so if she wants to find another caregiver it does give her sufficient time. Honestly she probably has no illness other than she would rather be doing anything other than spending her time off with her child. I understand you completely because I am very timid and tend to get used in some work place situations.

Answer 2

CALL YOUR CHILD PROTECTION SERVICES!!! Hurry, more children are in danger than you would think. Perhaps you and the case worker can catch her being so very irresponsible!!! But I wouldn't deny watching him, you are probably the BEST care and attention he ever gets.  

Answer 3

I would deffinatly call a social worker before the problem gets worse.  

Answer 4

If you have grown attached to the baby and want to continue watching him then you should just let her know that you've been watching him a lot lately, and you are going to have to start charging her an hourly rate.  That's how MOST babysitters work anyway.

Answer 5

I mean I know that you aren't getting paid and NO doubt she is very frustrating, but it seems to me you are probably the ONLY good in this child's life, as much as it would kill me to have my child ever taken away, she doesn't seem to want the responsibility of her child I would be scared yes VERY but however still call cps... too many children grow up a horrible life because their parents aren't willing to own up to their mistakes at a young age I being a parent at the age of 20  gave up all of my friends I am a stay at home mom and devote my WHOLE life to this little girl, some people just don't realize that this is a life that they need to care for and cps will help them get the love they need.