What would you do? Family?

Question

If your brother that is 28 years old and you are 17 had been known for insulting you with comments in front of your parents that always degraded you, cursed at you, and blackmailed you. And then after you stood up to him and both of you are not talking, would you feel guilty?

Answer 1

No, i wouldn't feel guilty, you gotta stand up for yourself and let him know that you are just as much man as he is.

Answer 2

No don't feel guilty, you should never be bullied by anyone! stand your ground, Good Luck!

Answer 3

Well, that depends on what exactly was said and done when “you stood up to him”. Like:

If he was assertive – preventing harm – not guilty.

If he was aggressive – perpetrating harm – guilty.  

Sibling rivalry certainly isn’t unique to these brothers, it happens everywhere. Now the elder brother was 11 when the younger were born. With no other siblings, he’d got used to being the attraction and having all his whims being catered to. But then the baby arrived to suck up all the attention and ruined his deal.  His jealousy over years spills over in ugly behaviour, as you mention.

Certainly the abuse has to be stopped. If the younger brother courageously standing up for himself remembers to keep within boundaries, it’s fine to be assertive.

But the younger brother shouldn’t plan ‘payback’ in more-of-the-same abuse and intent to harm. Then he’s just as guilty as the elder brother he's learned from. Remember, such aggression is a clear sign of low self-esteem and fear.

Answer 4

Nah, don't feel guilty for being a lot smarter than he is. He's more than ten years older than you! He needs to grow up. Typically once one or both siblings grow up, the relationship gets better, this sounds annoying and ridiculous. You have every right to stand up to him, and if he isn't speaking to you because of it, then that is his problem. Now, if you ever decide you miss him and would like to speak to him, you certainly have to option to contact him or he can contact you. You did the right thing and hopefully your brother will grow up, see that he has been in the wrong, and apologize to you!! Good luck, and good job on always being the bigger person!:)

Answer 5

no i stood up for myself id be proud

Answer 6

Hey bro, I know exactly how you feel! My older brother is 29 (im 23) something had to give! I had a fight with him because kept speaking to my mother in an abusive way when she did nothing wrong! For freaking once I mustered the courage to tell it like it is to his face. Don't wait until your my age. Otherwise he will keep doing what he has always been doing and think its alright. You my friend needed to iintervene or this will never end.

Answer 7

because you care for him. It hurts to stand up to those we really care about, and is hard to do so. Standing up for what is right is hard sometimes, but is necessary at times.

Answer 8

no. you have no reason to feel guilty. he started it all and you stood your ground. i have a brother in law who finds pleasure in bringing others down around him, i guess to make others look away from him and his problems. now after years of others getting tired of him his kids and life is pretty bad and he hasnt got a whole lot of room to talk about others. they say what comes arounds ,goes around. theres proof of that here. if he doesnt see he was the one in the wrong,he will be the one who has to live with it,with what he said about you . it will make him feel like a mouse not a man as he starts to think about it.

Answer 9

No, but I wouldn't allow him to do those things in the beginning, if he was blackmailing me I'd go to the police because blackmail is against the law.