What would you do? I made pancakes for breakfast this morning. My 2 yo son said (firmly) he DID NOT want one.?

Question

One for the other problems with this whole situation is that we weren't eating at the table. We are painting our house, and the dining area was not a place we could sit this morning. We were in the living room, but he was still in his highchair. He usually eats breakfast by himself (I'm usually taking my shower so we can leave before 6am)., because I don't get him up until the last minute.

Answer 1

You know what your mistake was, don't you?  Making him the pancake after he said he didn't want one.  This is one of the hardest things to master I think - my daughter does this all the time - our favorite phrase is "Mama is not a yo-yo"!!  Kids have to learn that we take their words seriously, so they will take ours seriously, but it is so so so so hard to do!  I am completely sympathetic because I have made the pancake myself more than once :)

Answer 2

Ask him what he likes to eat, and make it for him.

Answer 3

I just spoke with my daughter's Pediatrician about her food strikes yesterday. He said that if she chooses not to eat it then that is fine, it is her choice and not to force her to eat. However, she still needs to remain at the table until the family is done eating. And we are not to feed her snack before the next meal so that she will be good and hungry for it, and not expect to be able to refuse a meal and just eat snack soon after. He assured me that she will not starve and she will eat when she is hungry. Refusing meals can quickly become a point of control and manipulation at this age, so we as parents need to establish the boundaries, safely. Good luck Mom.

Answer 4

Maybe this story will help. I have two boys 10 and 12...when they were 3 and 5 my mother would watch them for me. One day they had chicken for dinner. The next day my mother began to prepare lunch for them. She always made sure their meals were balanced. They were going to have leftover chicken, carrots, bread and butter and a glass of milk. ( dessert was 1 m&m ) yep, just one. She would put it on the table next to their plates and when they had finished eating and they were no longer hungry then they could have that one beautiful m&m...and boy did they ENJOY that...sounds silly but teaches them to appreciate...So...this day my 5 yr old complained about having " chicken? again? " My mothers reaction was instant and swift....she said " not for you" and she emptied his plate into the trash. (btw...my mother is not one to waste food) She told him he could stand and watch her and his little brother eat their lunch. He did as he was told and after lunch she said that if he were hungry he could have their leftovers. So..he sat down and ate their leftover food...even drank the leftover milk...ewwwww....she then had him clear the table and wash the dishes....Never again did he ever complain about food. To this day he never complains about food, he isn't wasteful, and he appreciates anything that anyone takes the time to prepare for him. It doesn't take long for a child to learn who is boss.

Answer 5

This sounds like standard "terrible twos asserting their independence" stuff--the pancakes were just the opportunity.  You'll have another thousand chances to get it right in other situations.  Bottom line is, there's no perfect way to handle it because two year olds change their minds and have temper tantrums.  I don't think I'd try to make a big lesson out of it or try to teach him anything.  Instead, I'd do my darnest to stay patient (not easy) and sympathise with his wanting to assert his independence/stay in control.  Don't make him take that bite . . . no use engaging in a power struggle you are going to lose.  There's a reason for the saying "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink."  Try to save the power struggles for the things that really matter (safety).

Answer 6

I have learned to pick my battles.  There has been times when my daughter hasn't ate a meal because she is throwing fits.  So, she gets down, we figure that when they are hungry they will eat.  We also don't give my daughter a choice of what she is going to eat.  I am not a chef and will not make multiple meals all at once, they will eat what I make if they are hungry enough.

Answer 7

Well, I would have not made him the pancake in the first place. If he said he didn't want one, he didn't want one.

If I HAD given in and made him the pancake, I would not have forced him to eat it, but neither would I have given him anything else.

Answer 8

next time this happens ask him one last time before you make the pancaks and tell him that he can't change his mind. if he does change his mind offer him something else (cereal, toast) and if he refuses everything, then either let him go hungry, or tell him that if you make him a pancake he has to eat it or he will get a time out (or whatever sort of discipline you use)

Answer 9

2 year olds are unpredictable...i would have made him a pancake from the start, rather he chose to eat it or not the option was in front of him...

Answer 10

I would have never made it. Since you did, I'd have made him eat half of it. Definately don't give him any food until the next meal.

Answer 11

I wouldn't make him one after he said no.  Presuming he does like pancakes, I would offer him a pancake or nothing, if he said no I would've let him down from his chair.  I definetely wouldn't have given into the crying fit, lol.

Answer 12

I wouldn't have made the second batch, just b/c you are not a short order cook.  If he was really hungry, he would have taken a bite.  And even if he was just being a pain, lunchtime would have come around soon.  You have to learn to pick your battles but at the same time, you can't let him boss you around.  He'll learn that pretty quickly and then you then you'll really be in trouble.  Good Luck! =)

Answer 13

Next time you make breakfast, ask him if you make him one, is he going to eat it. f he says yes, you should allow him to stay at the table like he did and eat it, if he screams and has a fit, tell him "if he doesnt take some bites, that mommy is going to take the pancake away and he is going to  not get any" if he lets you take it away and then screams again, put him in a time out chair to teach him he cant act this way. He will scream and throw a fit, but if your consistant about it, he will soon realize this is not the way to act. Time out works well. Good luck!

Answer 14

Next time this happens if he says he doesn't want one then ask him one more time and make sure your making eye contact and if he says no than tha'ts it.  If he cries when you start eating tell him he has to wait..sounds cruel but he won't starve within the 10 minutes you eat.

Also offer him toast or a bowl of cereal instead.

Answer 15

Next time don't give him a choice, kids this age say no just to say no.  Just put the pancake in front of him, then he can eat it or not.

Answer 16

Made him pancakes in the first place.  That is whats for breakfast.  The end.