What would you do? Please answer this.?

Question

Now these children are only 9, 7 and 6 years old. My hubby then runs back over the house and pounded on the door until they answer and low and behold, my son is there! We immediately bring him home.

The parent NEVER return the message we left on the machine.

Now apparently the kids father was there when my son first went over the hous then left while my son was still there, NEVER LETTING US KNOW. I'm sorry but I don't think an 8 & 9 yo are old enough to be home alone especially with younger ones in the house.

I did ground my son and take away all of his videos, TV and priveldges because he should know better - what would you do about the parents???? Am I over reacting?

Answer 1

I don't mean this rudely, but shouldn't you make sure your son is being supervised before letting him go over there in the first place? Maybe you should have talked to the parent and made sure he was going to be there before allowing your son to go. It's your job to make sure your child is being watched, not the other parents'. I think trying to report them would be a bit much. It doesn't seem like you know the family too well so I think you'd be wrong to do something so drastic and accuse them of bad parenting just because of what a neighbor told you. Just my opinion, but it's your responsibility to make sure an adult will be around. If you talk to him first and he agreed to watch your son  and THEN he leaves the kids alone, then you can be angry at him. Don't be the nosy neighbor that tries to get someone in trouble because you don't agree with how they parent.

Answer 2

Guess you were just panicky because of the consequences you will have also with the law when it comes to protecting kids...it is normal, but instead of focusing to the problem, why not focus on the solution so next time you don't have cold heat running down your spine, ok?take care........

Answer 3

I don't think you're over-reacting at all. Unfortunately in the US there really aren't any laws for latch key kids, so I doubt CPS can even do anything unless something happens.  My sister does this.  Last summer my 10 yo niece was in charge of her 7 yo sisters.  She even let them go swimming!  I'm hesitant about leaving my 12.5 yo in charge for an occasional hour.

Answer 4

scary.

don't do anything about the parents, but certainly don't let your son play over at their house any more.  

tell your son that when he says he's going to one house, that's where he has to go, and if he decides to go somewhere else, he needs to come back and tell you first.  tell him since he didn't do that this time, for now you're walking him to wherever he's going until you're sure he knows the rules.  also tell your son that if he's ever at someone's house and the adult has to leave, he needs to come home immediately.

i let my 6- and 8-year-olds go knock on our neighbors' doors, but they know that they have to tell me exactly whose house they're going to, and that if they don't end up going inside that person's house then they need to come immediately back home -- even if they want to try another friend's door they have to come tell me first.  the one time my kids left the yard where they said they'd be playing to go play with other friends in another neighbor's yard without telling me first they were grounded for a week -- even though i know all the neighbors and would have said yes if they told me first.  they know i'm very serious about it, and they haven't done it again.

Answer 5

I'm guessing your son didn't realize that he wasn't allowed to be there alone, probably figuring that, although it wasn't something he'd done before, since the adult at that house said it was OK, then it was OK.  Perhaps the adult left them with the rule of 'don't answer the door or phone while I'm gone', in order to keep them safe from strangers who might take advantage of them being home alone.  

I think that you just need to let your son know that this is not OK for him & that, if that happens again, he should say that he has to go home.  

As for the other parents...  I'm not sure that there's anything you can do besides report them to CPS, if it's illegal in your area for a child that age to be home alone.

Answer 6

Whoa....This is obviously a family you trusted and knew otherwise you wouldnt let your son go all the way across the street...

Listen you could be making more of this than it really is...where do you live?  Hey I live in a small town think nothing of running up to the post office and leaving my just 9 yr old home alone...

Talk to your son, tell him if the parents are leaving that he has to come all the way home....talk to the other parent and let them know you dont want your child at his house alone with just the other kids....mabee offer to have the parent call and the kids can play at your house while he is out running...

Or you can be bitter and continue to complain and moan, and threaten to call CPS....

I think people who are always threating this are crazy ...Do you really think the kids were in danger..hey they didnt answer the door...till you went crazy and had your husband pound on the door???? They didn't answer the phone either im sure as instructed???  But bottom line your son did not come home when he was suposed to ...you were right to punish hime for that...but just let him know for now on that if the grown up leaves he needs to come home bottom line.  

And really rethink if you are overreacting....hey if you left me a message with the tone of the question...i don't know if i would return your call either....

Answer 7

I can totally relate to where you are coming from!! My daughter is 11, and she knows where she can go, with whom, and when. And she's almost always compliant. She's learned that I check up on her - and I've learned that when she tells me where she's going, that's where I'll find her.

On the other hand - she's got friends who will come over, play for hours, stay for dinner, even spend the night - and I have never met their parents! My daughter asked if one of her friends could spend Friday night (I met her mom a couple times) and I said she could - assuming that by Friday, her mom would call. Nope - the girls shows up on Friday with bags in hand and a permission slip from mom to ride the bus home with my daughter. She had no idea that I had really said it was ok! I ended up taking her home on Sunday night - and not once had I spoken to her mom!  It's just crazy!! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!!

Answer 8

All you can do is tell them that you don't want your son left alone and if they need to leave, ask them to please send your son home.

Answer 9

You are not crazy!  There is no way those kids are old enough to be home alone not in today's world... and I wouldn't let my child go back.  I would definitely speak to the father and let him know how worried you were when you couldn't find your child and ask why he didn't return your call or answer the door (maybe he has a hearing deficit?)

You would have to call your township/county to find out what the laws are specifically regarding leaving kids home alone and at what age this is no longer a "crime."  

Unfortunately, as parents, we still have to learn by trial and error... it just hurts us more when it involves our kids.  Maybe next time, you could talk to the parent and ask if they will be home the whole time and let the parent know what time  you expect your son to be home... just a suggestion!

Answer 10

i dont think you should have punished your son.  if he has never done this before then he might not have known it was wrong.  now he does.

Answer 11

whoa! I am NOT reading all that...

Answer 12

I wouldn't be angry with your son for too long because an adult was involved which probably made him think it was alright. I would sit him down and talk about your concerns and that if he's at a friends house and he doesn't think things are right then he should always phone home. Explain to him that most of the time children are ok doing there own thing but that sometimes really unexpected things happen that need the help of a parent ...what would he do if one of the younger kids got hurt playing a game or the toilet overflowed or a window got broken or a fuse blew. There are things that kids shouldn't have to be responsible for

Can you talk to the parents? ...find out what's going on with them that they would allow children this young to be home alone. Maybe even point out the creative ways kids can get into dangerous situations. I don't think I'd want him playing at their house ever again but if they're really good friends maybe they could come to your house ...they're not your responsibility, I know, but it sounds like these kids might have substandard parents

Would I report them to authorities? ...that's a very hard call. I think I'd try to get a bit more information. It might become very difficult for your family if you solve the problem by calling in the authorities so maybe I'd try the friendly helpful approach where you get in touch with the parents and talk to them about places were they can get after-school-care (might take some research). Maybe even explain to them their legal position

It would be much more productive if this problem was solved in a caring way but, if they reject your help, it may be time to act. Whatever you do, do it with a cool head

Good Luck (c;

Answer 13

I think if I was you I will definitely not allow my child to go to these ppl house again, unfortunately you cannot change this parent's behavior, but you CAN control your children.

These people are your neighboors and if I was you I would try not to interfere in the way they take care of things, specially having anything to do with the law, you don't want enemies next door.

Congratulations on being a good responsable parent.