What would you do? This is for anyone with kids?

Question

I was picking my daughter from pre k today, they were all standing in line waiting for there parents car to pull up. I was way in back. My daughhter got punched in the back by another girl. I shrugged it off as I thought they were playing. Then my daughter got punched in the stomach. I started to get mad. Then the girl punched my daughter in the face and pulled my daughters hood over her face. I was very upset at this point and my adrenalin is boiling. I went up to the teachers and asked why this is happening was there any problems today. They acted like I was accusing them! Did i do the right thing by asking why my daughter was getting hit? Or should I have just shrugged it offf? My daughter told me in the van she didnt like the girl but that when the girl hit her it really hurt and the girl was a bully. What should I have done? What would you have done?

Answer 1

i think you handled it better than i would have. i would have demanded to see whomever was in charge of the teacher, the teacher herself, and the other childs parents right then. i dont mean schedule a meeting i mean right now. there is no reason for anyone child, adult anyone to ever lay there hands on my child and i would have been throwing a fit right there especially when the teacher was not paying enough attention to intervene nd stop it.

Answer 2

At that age, it's important to get the other kids' parents involved.  I would tell that other girls parents what happened.  They can't deal w/ a problem w/ their child if they don't know its happening.  and they might be defensive, but who cares.  That is a horrible story.  I would not tolerate it.  Where was the teachers' attention focused when this was happening?  Did anyone else see what happened?  That kind of insensitive response from the teachers would merit me looking for another school for my child.

Answer 3

I would've approached the teachers calmly and questioned  what was going on.  If there was no proper responce I would have taken my daughter to the principal and hopefully worked it all out properly between my daughter and the other girls involved.  There is no way anyone should just stand by and do nothing while their child is being picked on.  The teachers should not have  acted like you were accusing them.  You as a parent have every right and concern to question such behavior.

Answer 4

What would I have done????

Not what you did.  Most likely I would have been out of the car with the first blow and by the time the second was thrown had the other kid over my head ready to throw her on the roof if necessary......

You did a much calmer job of it, but I sure would not let the school get off that easy.  You were accusing them, not of hitting your daughter, but of letting your daughter be hit.  Since you saw it, you were kind of an eye witness to the event and probably know who should have been watching and why they weren't.

Once again, I am a bit protective of my kids, but I would sure let the school understand that it is their job to provide a safe environment for my child and if they cannot do that, I would make it my passion to make sure they are not putting any other children at risk either.

Answer 5

you did the right thing by asking the teachers!  when we drop our children off at school, their teachers are their guardians and are responsible for the health and well being of our kids!  If the teachers were right there and allowing it to happen, something is not right and they are not fulfilling their duties!  I would definitely speak with the school principal about this as soon as possible!  Explain your concerns to him/here and demand that some sort of action be taken immediately!  The other girl obviously needs help with anger issues!  She may even be in an abusive family!

Answer 6

I think you acted appropriat under the circumstances.  Go back and talk to the school about it so they can keep an eye on the so called "bully".  Worked for me and my daughter is doing great in school!

Answer 7

May be you should talk to your daughter just to get her side of the story on why it happened? Does the bully always single her out?

Talk to the teachers in a non-confrontational manner and listen to what they have noticed, and what they have to say about it.

I don't think direct interference on your daughters behalf is the answer here. For one, your daughter will loose a superb opportunity to gain confidence by handling the situation herself.

Rather what you should work on is to help your daughter build some strong friend-circle. This will actually make her more confident, and bullies do not confront a popular or a confident student.

Answer 8

You did the right thing by talking to the teachers. Since they didn't react properly to your question, you might talk to their supervisor and ask her to make sure your daughter is physically safe. If you think that the other girl's parents care you might also talk to them and ask them to discipline their daughter or get some counseling for her.

Answer 9

I definately would have done the same thing (if I could restrain myself from hitting the bully myself).  The teacher may have been defensive as I'm sure you were pretty angry when you approached him/her.  Try setting up an appointment to talk with the teacher again.  If that doesn't produce results, set up an appointment with the principal.

Answer 10

I would have hired gretch to go kick that little bi­­tch's

a­s­s for hitting my daughter.

Answer 11

my first reaction would be to go up and punch the little b*tch in the face.. but of course i'd go to jail.. so i'd tell the shcool to watch their students more carefully and ask for the name of the mother of the llittle brat. I'd give her a piece of my mind for raising such a horrible child.

Answer 12

It may just be the way you were wording it, but it DOES sound like you were accusing the teachers.  Instead, you should have gone up to them and let them know what was going on.  They could easily handle the situation that way instead of being putt on guard by an angry parent.  You shouldn't have shrugged it off, but your approach could have been better.

Answer 13

sorry Gretch. The school can not release such information. You were right to break up the bullying and addressing the teachers. As far as that conversation is concerned, it doesn't sound like ur outcome from that convo wa sa good one. Go a step higher and talk to the group supervisor of the school. Explain everything and since you pay for this school service explain that you demand a zero tolerance policy on bullying. It isn't exceptable. BTW, your kid is in a lot for being so young. Wow.

Answer 14

I can not believe that there were adults around who did absolutely nothing to stop the second punch.

No, you were not wrong, it seems to me that the teachers are defensive because this is an issue that has been brought up before.  I think I would speak to some of the other parents to see if any other children are having similiar problem with this child bully.  Then I would take the issue up with the principal of the school.  If these teachersw will allow something like this to happen in front of parents, imagine what they allow in their classroom when they don't think anyone is watching!

Answer 15

you did right b talking to the teacher.  they should be watching more closely.  if the problem continues go to the principal.

Answer 16

I would have thrown a fit.. kids shouldn't be hitting eachother like that in school!! The teacher should have done something! And I would have stayed to make sure they said something to the other kid! Bravo! Be heard! I can see getting bopped once.. but for her to continue.. thats a load of c**p!

Answer 17

I would have talked to the little girl myself and told her that it is not right for her to be hitting your little girl, then would have walked both of the kids over to the teacher and had them explain to the teacher what happened. I've had to deal with bratty kids and I have confronted them every time. After I talk to them, I will talk with their parents or the teacher or both right in front of them so there's no way they can back out of what they said or did. Some parents can't stand to hear that their child is less than perfect. I know my kids aren't perfect angels 24/7, but we have raised them to always respect others and that violence solves nothing.

When you go to Pre-K to get her next time, wait for the parent(s) of the other girl, and explain to them what's happening with your daughter. Try to include the teacher in the discussion so everyone hears the same thing and is on the same page.

Good luck!

Answer 18

Oh, I would have been irate! I would have demanded the girl be punished, no excuse for that type of behavior! Those teachers should have d**n well done something. To tell you the truth, if it were my kid I would have told that little girl it better never happen again. I would also give that girl's mother a call & tell her politely to have a talk with her child. You daughter shouldn't have to put up with that.

Answer 19

This happened to our son when he was in the 3rd grade. The school staff didn't see it as a problem and the father of the opposing boy found a measure of humor in it until I approached the father with a serious ultimatum.

That boy never hit my son again.

We also home school for reasons like this now.

Answer 20

you did the right thing, you have every right to demand an explanation from the teachers, its there job to keep an eye on everyone so they wold know...........

Answer 21

I think your reaction was valid. I probably would have done the same thing.

Answer 22

you did the right thing in telling the teacher. wat the heck their there to teach the children and to take care of them. wat the heck was the teacher doing that she didnt noticed that your daughter was being hit? you should really complain to the principle and let them know that the teacher isnt doing their job. I would have been really pissed if someone did that to my daughter, i would have raised h**l

Answer 23

First of all, I would have gotten out of my car as soon as the bully girl punched my daughter.  I would have told her that hitting is not okay.   I would have watched to see who was picking up the bully girl and speak to them about what happened.  

I would also speak to my daughter and tell her she doesn't have to put up with a bully like that.  If someone is hitting her, tell them, "No! Stop hitting me!"  Then move away from them if the bully doesn't stop.  She can go tell her teacher what happened.

I would also speak with my daughter's teacher to let her know what happened.  If possible, I'd also speak with the bully girl's teacher so that she was aware as well.  You could escalate this to the school principal if you don't feel you're getting an adequate response.

Answer 24

I would have done the same thing except, I would have interfered at the first punch. I would also follow up with a visit to the principle or director and request a meeting with the principle/director, the teacher who was supposed to be watching them and the girls parents.

Answer 25

ohhh man. if i were you i would have gotten out of the car, ripped that girl off of her, and walked to teachers and demand why they would allow this to happen. the crime still happened on school grounds, therefore they are still responsible for the kids. i would also ask for the other girls parents' numbers and contact them immediatly!

Answer 26

You were right, and I would request that the school contact the other girls mother. Or you will. It is one thing for mild contact in preschool it is inevitable, but when you see something that bad, what is happening when you aren't there?

Answer 27

You have every right to know what is going on, especially if your daughter is getting hit.  If the teachers aren't going to do anything about it, I would go over their heads and talk to someone in charge if it persists.  My nephew was in day care and was kicked out for biting kids, he was only 2.  The teachers didn't do anything about it so the parents of the kids he was biting went to the administrator and had my nephew removed from the day care.  Honestly, you handled it better than I would have.  I would have found out who the parents of the other girl was and had it out with them.  Or I would have gone and asked the little girl why she did it and explain to her that it's not nice and that she shouldn't hit for any reason.  The problem with that would be that if the girl's parents are there then they would probably get mad at you for trying to discipline their child.  I would definately talk to the teachers and the parents of the girl and if that doesn't work, like I said before go above them. Good Luck

Answer 28

personally I would have marched over to the girl and my daughter and gave the little girl a piece of my mind. I would have told her in a stern voice "you do not put your hands on anyone like that and how would you like me to tell your parents what you were just doing?"

Then I would have marched over to the teachers and told them "I realize you probably didn't see this but while sitting in my car just now I saw so and so hitting my daughter, have you noticed them not getting along?"

If they didn't like my tone then too bad, how am I suposed to feel when I just saw someone hitting my child. I think you did the right thing.

My son was getting teased on the school bus in first grade last year and I didn't bother with the school. I called the boys mother and told her what her son was doing and how it was affecting my son who was crying every day that he didn't want to go to school and now I was having to drive him to and from school because of this.

I was surprised that she was receptive to my phone call and apologized for her son's behavior saying that he had been acting like this lately and she didn't know why butt hat she was sorry. The next day my son came home with a note in his backpack from the boy and it was an apology from him.

Answer 29

I would have done exactly what you did.  You have to put a stop to bulling early, if not it will only get worse.  Hopefully, by bringing it to the teachers attention they can keep a close eye on your daughter.  In fact, I would go as far as informing the Principle. Most schools have zero tolerance and needs to be inforced.