What would you do about this ?

Question

I'm 17, and I've noticed some strange stuff going on in my house, my sister, used to be an extremely rude person, went around cussing my mother out, and now 2 years later, she's still in the house(shes 20), and tries to act like none of it happened. I've noticed a change in my mother since she's been hanging around my sister, its as if all her opinions have changed, whenever I'm talking to my parent, my sister instigates situations, and makes it seem as if I'm disrespecting her, this is getting extremely frustrating because I want to do something about it, but I dont know what to do, it seems like lately my moms been more selfish, mean, and bitter than ever, and my sister just keeps encouraging her, is it my job to try and see whats going on ? or should my mother be old enough to stick to her own opinions, and not let my sister influence her ?

Answer 1

Have a heart to heart talk with your mother when your sister's not around. Tell her exactly what you said here. Tell her that you want to have a close relationship with her.

Your sister should be out of the house and on her own at the age of 20.

Answer 2

sounds like they are both a little nutty....

try to stay nutral and get along, not much else you can do.

Answer 3

this is something you can do nothing about, focus on what you could do like enjoying school, having more friends, having more social life and really focusing on other hobbies that would get your attention out of the house, you are 17 i know for sure you would be that creative to just let them mind their own business and get started with your own life.

Answer 4

Your job is to worry about yourself and stop trying to be like your sister. Go get laid

From the Doc of Love

Answer 5

Sounds like you need to play "keep away" from your sister. Just stay away from her. Your job is to stay out of trouble.

Learn to lock your bedroom door to keep her out. If she pulls this stuff in the period between arriving home from school and when the parents arrive home from work, then you need to stay away from the house until after your parents have arrived... get an after-school job or get into some school clubs to have a legitimate excuse to stay away.

Your sister has transferred from one form of acting-out, which would no doubt result in her expulsion from the house, to another form in which she attempts to play victim while still satisfying her desire for drama.

If you talk to your mom, frame it as if you are talking about a friend and his family... and how would your mom suggest handling it if at all? That would be very telling indeed!

Your parents are the only ones who can draw the lines here. Your sister should be in college if she is still at home, and she really should be working a part-time job as well to carry her own weight. If not, they either need to light a fire under her f***y, or tell her to move out.

You have one more year until you are 18. Start making some real plans for your future... scope out colleges or vocational training programs at community colleges... put in some applications to the colleges that look right... look into scholarships/grants/financial aid. If you drag your mom into it as a consultant, it is a good way to build rapport with her (and that is protection against your sister). If you make your mom feel like she is needed and her opinion is valued, she will feel better.

Your mom may be going through menopause, which will make a person feel worn-out and not be able to get much sleep.  

Answer 6

Look , what I usually recommend is this, when you have a person aggitating you and carrying a bomb that explodes whenever they are around.

Now this is smile, and simply say "You're Right", and turn away and do this over and over again for about a week and a half . they have no desire to attack you if you don't fight back, and have the nerve to say they are right. understand.  you took the bomb they carry and take and defuse it and no fighting.

Answer 7

you should have spend time with your sister and mother. when thier feelings get better, you should try to ask your mom to talk to each other. I think...

the longer you wait, the harder it'll be to solve this problem. the harder the problem is, the more rewarding it gets if it's solved (I don't know if it's okay to listen to this).

Answer 8

well are you trying to get guys or girls?... i cant tell

Answer 9

Talk to your mum about it. If she brushes you off, talk to your dad if they're still married. If not talk to your uncles or aunts if any or your grandparents. Show your concern. Or if that fails a good ol' psychologist at school always does the trick.