What would you do about your friend's kids?

Question

My friend and I trade off babysitting for each other and I try to go to her house to watch them, but some days it's unavoidable to have them come to my house instead. I guess I run a tighter ship than she does. I can't help it, but by the time her kids leave my house, the place is destroyed! They talk back to me, they complain about everything I make to eat. My thing that I tell them is "I'm sorry, I make the same thing for everyone to eat, if you are hungry you will eat it." (You know how one kid wants one thing to eat, the other wants something else? I'm not making 5 different meals). They break MY kids' toys too. I simple think that they haven't been taught to take care of anything because they have a grandma and aunt that buys them ANYTHING they want. I've never seen kids that have so much STUFF! They've broken things that my kids just got recently. Then of course, my kids are upset. But what am I supposed to do? I can't say sorry no one can play with toys for the next 4 hours! Now the only way I can get everyone to settle down for a while and do something nicely is if I give everyone separate things to do on their own. But of course that only lasts so long. I love her kids and all, I only get frustrated with them on the days they have to come to MY house. Now I tell my friend bits and pieces of what I my day was with them because I don't want to be insulting to her. And I know just from the few things I say she gets on them about it, but they are still the same when they come over. It seems to me like they walk all over their mom. That kind of stuff just doesn't fly in my home so that's why it gets to me so much. Anyways, with my rambling out of the way, my question is this. Do you have any tips on how I could deal with this better when they are at my house? I've pretty much ruled out telling their mom all about it. She might say something to them but I don't think it will change anything, they pretty much do as they please.

Answer 1

tell your friend that in order to stay friends with her, you must sever the babysitting arrangement.  If she asks why, tell her that her kids do not respect you, your home, or your kids and while you love her friendship, you are not going to put up with that behavior.

Then follow thru...never ask her to babysit and always say no if she asks you

Answer 2

I hear you loud and clear I know some kids who are the same way and you are right, their mother has no rules in her house so they only do what she let's them do, you are so right about some of the things you have said here about the eating situation, and the doing things on their own only last so long but, there is one thing I would change in the way you are feeling....I would tell her what her children are doing and I am sure that it may ruff her feathers in some way but, honesty has start somewhere, you did not mention the age group(s) of the children but, the same would go for just about most who understands from right and wrong, I would let her know that her children are breaking things that I can not replace, and I would let her know that her children are talking back and what ever else they are doing that you do not agree with, and since you know how to run a house hold in the right way let her know what your plans are to deal with them , if she will not make them act the right way in your home then tell her that you can not have them in your home but, if you must have them there just let her know what consequences there will be for each act they commit that is wrong, good luck, if she is your friend you do owe her the truth because if a friend do not be honest who will right? Lil Angel......