What would you do as a parent?

Question

You left your 12 nearly 13 year old daughter alone at home for an hour or so whilst you and your significant other were at work and your nanny took your younger children to the park or whatever. Whilst you were out she had her friends over without permission and you or your significant other came home early and found out,then when told she couldn't go out with friends just walked out what would you do? How would you react?

This is for research for an a-level project.

Answer 1

I wouldn't have a nanny.  And of course it's for a 'project'. And this makes no sense.

Answer 2

did she know she wasn't allowed to have friends over.....anyway the first thing I would do is take her and bring her inside...sit her down on the couch and ask her what was she intending to show with this behavior....and explain to her that she still has to follow the rules and if she breaks them there are consequences.....tell her that she is grounded...and if she decides to walk out the door again she will lose all her privileges till she listens....and explain to her also that she lost your trust because you trusted her to follow the rules and she didn't.....saying all this as calmly as I can.....

Answer 3

Well me i would wait until she wants something and just walk out on her with no response. lunch money or allowence would be no go's, and all video games would be removed from her room.  the next time it happened she would have to leave my home cause like my mom told me anyone under my roof will abide by my rules or go get their own place and run it. no way around it.

Answer 4

Well, if your were a mother would know what to do. When she gets home ground her. Let her think she gets off the hooks and then snap the trap shut when she gets home.

Answer 5

It's the parents fault for allowing her to stay home alone to begin with.  Why wasn't she supervised?  Just because the laws of a state say a child can stay home alone at a certain age doesn't mean that child is responsible enough to do so.  She is YOUR child you should at least KNOW your own child well enough to determine if she IS responsible enough to be home alone.  Obviously not.  So you're going to punish HER for your wrongdong?

Answer 6

run after her, grab her arm and put her in her room

Answer 7

This is really tough! I don't envy you, but guess what you are going to have a whole lot more of this behaviour.

I believe the best thing at this age is not necessarily to punish, but rather to communicate. Go to her room, follow her and tell her that you need to share some concerns. she will probably not listen, but explain to her how it felt to find out that your trust was shattered when you discovered her abusing her freedom. By sharing your concerns, and by laying down rules in a very clear way (emphasising the why, and why nots) it may make it slightly easier for your daughter to heed and maybe listen next time.

Answer 8

I would not let her stay at home alone again for a very long time.  She'll have to earn trust back.

Answer 9

Follow them, I`m going too-honest I`d embarrass her so bad, I`d have to figure out what to say & do along the way.She`d probaly take me back home though.At home we would have a meeting of the minds.I can tell you this my child would not walk out of my house-like that, yes, I would follow.I would`nt fuss at her in public, if she fussed at me I would take her home immediately.