What would you do if after you married a man or woman, you realized that they did not lower their gaze?

Question

How disappointed would you be? How would it affect your marriage? Elaborate.

Answer 1

i wouldn't be too disappointed .....because not all Muslim men lower their gazes....no matter how religious they might seem

so i would just try my best to explain, and try to develop fear of Allah and love of Allah in him...and in the end, it all depends on him....whether or not he wants to change....n its him that will suffer Allah's anger later

Answer 2

I would try not to be disappointed because I know that I have faults too but its always easier to see the fault in others.

I would try to talk to the person and let them hear the verses and hadith that command lowering the gaze. Remind them of the benefit and punishment resulting from this. We all benefit from reminders.

Nichole

Answer 3

I would never marry someone like that. I will get to know the person before marrying him;-}

Answer 4

honestly i would be very upset about it and anyone who says otherwise i think is not being very realistic.  My situation is further complicated by the fact that my husband is a physician and often performs exams for women and as such he sees naked women all the time.  At first I used to tease him a lot about it.  Until one day we were in the mall and a lady came up to us and she started talking and telling my husband something and he had to stop and ask her who she was.  She was astonished because she said she had seen him the previous week and he did a complete physical for her.  I realized at that moment he sees them, but he really does not see them, if that makes any sense.  From then on, I felt better :)

Answer 5

I'd be sure that he lower his gaze otherwise the marriage will end in no time! ! Why settle for a husband who can't respect a woman as his wife when there could be another man out there who could respect you and love you! !

Answer 6

I really don't know but inshallah i hope the love i offer is not lacking and if he does do that then i will try to help him correct his errors and expect him to do the same for me. I would be dissapointed but inshallah i will make a wise choice and marry someone who is a dedicated follower of islam and not de gangsta/player type or pervy type....no way!!!! LOl

Answer 7

Very disappointed, if my husband did that I would there and then poke his eyes out no kidding!

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A certain someone was in this situation and she went through really bad time, as her husband would  gaze at women in front of her and give comments about them to her!!!!!  It really got her down and she was on the verge of walking out, but I stepped in and sorted him out. It can have negative affects on a woman especially since they are so prone to emotions.

Answer 8

It wouldn't make a difference unless they were looking in a lascivious way.  It's human nature to look at people including the opposite s*x, that doesn't mean they are sexually interested in that person or admiring their beauty or good looks.

Answer 9

I think it's quite impossible to 'lower the gaze' to the fullest extent, now what I mean by this; say you do control your gaze when out' n about, but what about when you're watching TV, or when you're with your partner harmlessly watching a movie together? You're not 'lowering' your gaze then are you? Everyone, regardless to how strong their imaan (faith) checks people out (on the sly. or blatantly), some more than others.

Answer 10

could hardly care about it since u can't do anythin about it now so better stop cryin about the past and think for future and how u cud make it good  

Answer 11

I pray no one ets that kind of person, I pray andhope evey one gets the right peson would just love and respct him/her!

I'd probably ignor and forgive at first and try to trust the person but rust has got limits....so if...mny times:

I'd get disoppointed and probably would feel out of life cause when one gets married he/he finds the person only one whom he/she can trust fro everything and whome he/she can claim to be his/hers only!

It would effect my marriage as I'd find no lovein my heart for the person as I'd expect te same love from him as I give him,

Life woulduck..it'd destroy me from inside,would never let me be abl to recover the feeling of being so disgraced!

Lets pray for not being destroyed!

Edit: wait...I think you mean more than just lowering gaze.....cause not that is easy to get irritated by!

Answer 12

Salam for you my friend.If a married couple did not lower their gaze I think they will be tempted by satans and each of them will make adultery(zina) which is not allowed by Allah as stated in the Qur'an.

They will disappointed  to each other,if they were aware of their mistakes.But if they did not aware they will go through the wrong way in depth.It will affect their marriage.The marriage will not give them  happiness,tranquality,respect and love to each other The marriage will be felt by each other as in the h**l.They will quarrel each day and they will not have a harmonious relationship.

Answer 13

that wont happen if i gave my future husband a woman that he dies to come home to everyday, someone he is truly in love with and someone whose love blinds him from the images of other women.

i have read books on this stuff. a man who is head over heels for his woman wouldnt even imagine looking at other women.

Answer 14

Well, I mean, men are men. Women are women. Though he should lower his gaze, we can't act like we don't check men out ourselves. I would try to explain to him that he should, but it crosses the line if he does it in front of me and comments on them. That's something that you should figure out BEFORE marriage.

Answer 15

it is very annoying but a married couple should discuss such issues frankly and explain how it hurts ones feelings...