What would you do if the birthmother cannot be located?

Question

Before I lose the opportunity to gather any additional information about my adoptive child, I would like to contact the birthmother. However, she cannot be located. I don't want to waste a bunch of money trying to locate someone that may or may not even still be anywhere close to the last place she was living.

I will keep trying through the normal channels, but we all know that having a toddler isn't cheap, and we don't have the money to hire private investigators or pay the attorney that has already indicated that she cannot be found.

Answer 1

First, if you think a toddler is expensive, just wait.  ;)  

Second, only you know your situation.  I had to hire a private investigator and believe me, I'm not rich.  It was important to me to find my child's mom to set my mind at rest that she had not been coerced, and that if she wanted to know about her child she would have our contact information.  These reasons might not apply to your case, though.  (And when we found her, she was very grateful. Also, she gave us pictures of all her extended family - treasure for my child)

Answer 2

maybe she doesnt want to be found, she gave the child up for adoption, if she wanted it, she would of kept it,there are many factors in this. i would let it go.............

Answer 3

i was going to pm you and tell you some personal ideas, but you don't allow it.

in general, it depends on the state.  i would try intelius first, among other things.  like issr.

http://www.plumsite.com/isrr/

Answer 4

if you need help message me.  Let me dig around and see what I can find.

Answer 5

Why is it necessary to mention how much "having a toddler" is?  Are you looking for someone to tell you to stop searching?

You have to follow your own heart, and satisfy the questions that will surely come years from now, from your child.  When you can say you have looked enough, sincerely, and have no regrets or no stone unturned, then that is enough.

I agree, this is the time,  As time passes, ti will become more and more difficult.  But it is so important.  Good luck!

Answer 6

I think if she wanted to see the child she would be searching right now.

Answer 7

I would go back to the agency that she was adopted from. Are you wanting to know this info for medical purposes? That would be the only reason that I would want any info for.

Answer 8

I dont' think I would ever stop looking. I can't say for sure. I am blessed to know her and most of her family. They have always been great to provide any info I may need.  

I just don't think I would stop. There's always another rock to turn over.