What would you do if this happened to you....?

Question

Ok, my husband has not been the kindest person to me and one of our repeat issues is that he says one thing and does another. In other words, he never keeps his word to me.

So, this morning my cell phone rings. It's him calling... I say hello and he doesn't say anything back to me, but all I hear is him talking... ABOUT ME... "I told her tonight.... but it isn't going to happen" and "She wants this dog I told her she can have, but I'm not going to let her have him"... things like that. Then after 20 minutes of this blah-blah-blah he noticed HIS PHONE WAS CONNECTED WITH MINE. He says "Oh S---" and hangs up.

Now, normally he calls me in the morning to say good morning, make sure we are all up and moving, but NO DAILY CALL TODAY. So I did my business as usual, waited for him to call and when he didn't call I decided to CALL HIM. In the midst of our conversation I mentioned in response to something he said "Yeah, I heard you talking about that this morning with your co-worker". He became VERY quiet, asked in a round about way what else I heard, but I didn't tell him.

So... what would YOU do with this??? Let him hang and wonder? Use it to MY advantage? Oh... what to do, what to do!

Answer 1

I would let him know what you heard and that you are really bothered that he talks about you like that behind your back. Everyone's spouse needs to vent to a co-worker or friend its hurtful when you catch them in the act. In order for you to trust him again, he needs to start respecting you more and keeping his promises. And if he's so hung up on doing things his way, let him know that his stubborness is hurting your marriage and family. You need to talk this out- ignoring it or using it as a bargaining tool can only make things worse and resentful. Good luck!

Answer 2

Take whatever you need to get this dog whilst he's asleep.

Take his credit card. Blow it on dog biscuits. Toys. The LOT.

Then whilst he's at work, Go get the dog.

Then ban him from your bed for a week, and no s*x for a MONTH.

He won't be doing it again :D

Answer 3

Punish him as much as poss, but draw the line if you think the situation can be fixed

Answer 4

tell him you heard everything, tell him to stop being such a jerk.

and the two of you need to compromise.

oh yes definetly, i would without a doubt plan on going to get that dog you want.

Answer 5

keep him wondering until he comes home and be silent for a while see what he does then confront him about it its best to have this conversation face to face  

Answer 6

Kinda sucks that you got married to him.  I wouldn't put up with it at all and find someone else that would keep their word, or at least have the decency to tell me they couldn't do it up front.  Sounds like you two might need some counselling.

Answer 7

Look him in the eye and say that you heard everything.

Leave him and move on.

Answer 8

Keep things in perspective....remember he was talking ABOUT you, not TO you.  It's not nice to overhead unpleasant things about us (especially front those we trust) but he might just have been acting macho in front of co-workers.

What you should do really depends on where you want your relationship to be long term.  If you want to remain together then you need to address the problem (if there is one).  You could try asking him directly "Is there something you want to tell me?"

Finally, what would you advise someone else to do based on what you know of your relationship?

Good luck.

Answer 9

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 10

How can you stand to have a husband who isn't kind? That's one of my major requirements. I'd twist the knife slooooooowly til he's bled dry, then get a divorce.

Answer 11

Kick his ***,and go

Answer 12

He is not treating you right.  I would talk to him about it and maybe try a counselor.  

Answer 13

i would go get the dog you wanted. and expect the plans you had for tonight.

Answer 14

I'm happy you got the dog...You did the right thing for you.  Even in marriage, you don't need his permission or approval for the things important to you.

You won't regret getting the "four-legged Dog" at all, although I can't assume as much with "two-legged" one you're dealing with.  Best wishes to you.

PS, The very same thing happened to me once when a guy I was dating hit the three way and I heard him talking about me.

It was a good thing, revealed his true feeling and his "plan" to change me. Needless to say, he's making new plans now, alone.

Answer 15

Well it is slightly strange that the phone was connected to you and as soon as he realised that you were listening he hung up.

You say he is your husband? If you are married, then you should have been able to discuss things like this with him.

They key to any relationship is communication, and without this, the marriage and any other relationship for that matter is very unlikely to survive.

Try to talk to him, ask him to sit down and have a chat.

Ask him why he says one thing and then does another, let him have a chance to say how he is feeling.

I don't think it is wise to, as you put it, use it to your advantage. No good will come of this, your marriage will probably just deteriorate. But use it to both of your advantages, tell him what you heard, ask him why he said it.

Let him have his say too, and once things are out in the open and discussed in a civilized manner, then you two will be able to sort things out.

Good luck, and I hope this helps.

Answer 16

Pretend it never happened.  No sense adding fuel to the fire.  What would be the purpose?  It is a no win situation.  Don't play games.  This is a lose lose scenario.  Forget it.

Answer 17

I would call him on it every time he doesnt keep his promise.  Give him a hard time about it in front of friends or family & see how he likes that.  Every single time he breaks his promise, call him out.  As for the call this morning, I would tell him (very firmly) that you dont appreciate him talking about you to other people in that way.  Give him the cold shoulder for a little while & let him know your mad about it.  Good luck!

Answer 18

did u hear everything he was talking about

because he shouldn't be worried about if you

heard him or not. you should just talk to him

about things. and i would use it to my advantage

& let him wonder.

Answer 19

So he is a liar ...

Tell him what you heard and that you think he needs help. What bothers me almost as much as the lies - is that he is telling his co-workers about you. What else has he said about your personal life....

Answer 20

You are being plain PARANOID

Answer 21

to be honest.

he sounds like an absolute ********.

Is this what you want your relationship to be?

Taking advantage of each other and being spiteful?

you two sounds like you absolutely loathe each other, this isn't a marriage.

I would say get some help. Get to the root why he never keeps his word and why you two have these problems.