What would you do if you're a middle-age, married pastor and a young lady 16-22 emailed you, offered you help?

Question

with errands, etc, & another young lady told you she said she liked you?

Answer 1

If you are a midle aged pastor and you are asking us you are already messed up.

Refuse her and move on.

Answer 2

Tell her in church kind of way and tell her you are not interested and buzz off.

Answer 3

You are a pastor: it is your job to help her, not brush her off. Involve your wife. If your wife is a sensible and religious woman she will be happy to welcome this child into the fold, take her under her wing, and help her to find a real life. Many young women think they need a lover when what they really need is a mother to guide them.  

Answer 4

You're a pastor and you don't know how to answer this question? You need to find another line of work padre, or read the bible again...once is not enough.

Answer 5

You don't need to hint to her that you're not interested.  Someone else told you she liked you, right?  If she hasn't propositioned you or behaved inappropriately directly to you then you shouldn't say anything about her liking you.  If you trust what you were told by this other person, just tell the girl that you appreciate her offer but that you don't need her assistance.  If she pushes for anything more than a platonic relationship you just need to tell her that you are a happily married man and that you do not want to have that type of a relationship with her.  It doesn't matter how sensitive she is.  She should be told the truth.  If you're a pastor, it's in your job description to openly and directly guide the people in your congregation in a "moral" direction.  You should already know what to do.

Answer 6

I would thank God for the assistance of help.  It is always nice to have others that like you, it is your outgoing appearance that people see and want to be a friend and offer help.  Gladly accept any help, even if it is not needed, it will make them feel good about themselves.  Good luck.

Answer 7

wait...pastor and married...Then asking what if a 16 WHAT CHURCH DO YOU PREACH AT....That is AWFUL

Answer 8

Let her know that you appreciate the offer of help but that you and your wife don't need that kind of help at the moment.  It might be a good idea to ask a woman a few years older than her to mentor her and help her get socially active.

Answer 9

Delete email and if she still pursues you, ensure you are never put in a position where you can be accused of anything. Tell as many people as you can that you are not comfortable with this contact and if u know the family tell them.  Young girls unfortunately fall in love with male authority figures and you may just be a crush but do u want to be accused of something that looses you your wife, church and self respect. If you are asking cos u want to persue it - shame on you! Be careful whatever u decide.

Answer 10

This must be the young lady I can tell by the way you talk.  Sure he's thinking jail bait if she's under 18.

Answer 11

Have her help. Do you like her? Your wife wont suspect a thing! God forgives!

Answer 12

If you have any respect for your wife then you'd talk to her about it. Let her know and tell the 16-22yr old to go jump. Just the fact you're asking the question means you're considering her. I'd say tell your wife.  

Answer 13

just remember....you are representing the lord and you better stay true to his word.....I know...being middle aged and married forever is enough to make anybody want to hang out with a young cutie pie...it makes us feel better...I am with you there...but you better keep your distance...get an old woman(or 10) assistant and make her world shine and then you won't be tempted to stray...and she will be so excited and thankful that someone still needs her....thats the right thing to do...young shy girls can get attention any where...save yourself dummy....:0) be the man and don't hint...just say matter of factly..no thankyou...simple as that..

Answer 14

Keep her busy with projects that involve the whole community.And about the young lady who said she liked you, remind her with a light tone that your wife likes you as well and always keep a picture of her that they can see on your desk. Limit your alone and phone time with these women.

Answer 15

Remind yourself you are a man........ and you've made a vow before God to love and honor your wife.......

Nothing good can come from putting yourself in a position to be alone with the young lady.  Man up... walk away.... honor YOUR vows.  Unless you really AREN'T a man, just a boy trapped in a man's body...

Answer 16

Say no thanks and find a male assistant.

Answer 17

Thank her for her kind offer of assistance but you don't need the help right now...you'll let her know if you need help in the future - then forget about it.  This may be quite innocent, but then again, it may not be.  This is a temptation that neither of you need.  Keep The Faith.

Answer 18

It would make me wonder if everybody has sexual assumptions when any man interacts with any other female.

Man, if you are a middle aged, married pastor, and you think that a young chick as a crush on you, it is your responsibility as a vessel of god to let that girl know that it is not acceptable social behavior to flirt with ANY married man.

BUT, there is the possibility that the girl that likes you only wants to find her place at the church; offering to lend a hand & liking a person are not automatically suspect; you need to suspect she is flirting with you before calling her on it.  And if you need to chastise her (and remember, as a pastor it is your JOB to spread the word of God) You need to do it quietly, do not hurt her feelings, and never spread rumors.

Good Luck

*a sensitive hint would be voicing your opinion on the sanctity of marriage within her earshot.